My mental state is very in flux. So on Tuesday, my roommate gets bites -- 7 of them, to be precise. They appear to be bed bug bites. She has started washing/cleaning thoroughly, but is busy at her job and only last night called the crappy exterminator we've had, who can't come until Friday or Saturday. So I asked her to call more today, but she's decidedly less urgent about this than I am. I'm just very worried they'll re-spread to my room/side of the apartment, and while it's been safe so far, I don't want to tempt anything! And also, what if I have to wash all of my belongings again? I will, but goddamn, this is awful. And it's worse because so far no exterminator is scheduled and that drives me batty. (Roommate said to me "I'm not as freaked out about this as you are." THAT IS NOT OK. YOU SHOULD BE FREAKED OUT.) Obviously they somehow migrated to her end of the apartment, though it's been a month since I discovered them in my room, and it's all so confusing. Plus, she had a ton of bites at one time, but why did it just suddenly happen? Her room was sprayed twice of the three times that mine was, and while she didn't wash/bag all of her things, shouldn't the sprays have killed any eggies that were around? Obviously they were hiding, but it feels like a neverending problem and I'm having some rough moments (and some optimistic moments, too.) I just hope she has called another exterminator by now. I'm going to harass her.
Otherwise, today is a beautiful day, I'm planning on sleeping at Hike's tonight in order to be less tempting to any bugs in my apartment (though so far, so good), and I made some Saturday "drunch" plans with my neighborhood girls, plus Hike already made plans for our Saturday night, which you know I love. We'll do dinner and a movie in Astoria (seeing Captain America), but it's nice to have an actual date planned, you know? And I THINK/HOPE I can Skype with Britch tonight. I haven't talked to her in SO LONG and I leave in like two weeks to see her in England (hopefully the riots will be over) and I can't wait! The idea of running away for a week is very appealing, too, though I will miss Hike dreadfully.
OH, we planned our winter holidays yesterday. It began because he was looking at his vacation schedule for work, which he has to use by the end of the year, and he's trying to take time off when he can maximize it for completing schoolwork. I asked if he was going to come home with me for New Year's again, and so he looked into it and planned the long weekend for when he'll come to meet me there (after Christmas). I was a bit whiney about it, in the "I would have hoped you'd think of that yourself, since for our relationship to move forward, don't you need to spend some more time with my parents?" way, by which I meant "You'll want to ask my dad for permission to marry me ASAP, right???" But it was fine, once I mentioned it (and he was like "Oh yes, I want to do that, I just wasn't thinking about it and you hadn't told me your plans to go home, either...") he got right into the planning and looking up airfare, so I calmed down. Plus, then the BB World War II news hit, so I was distracted.
To top off my bad day yesterday, I volunteered to get the veggies for Roommate so she could go buy a steamer and a box spring cover, etc., and on my walk down Crescent, I passed Mex. I mean, I am always afraid of going that way because of that reason, and wouldn't you know, I get myself calmed down and am walking and there he is. Looking either already drunk or hungover, and making a really sullen face and not looking at me, so we passed like ships in the night. I think I rolled my eyes (like, of course I have to see you today) but he didn't acknowledge me, though he would have surely seen me. It's fine, I don't want to talk to him, but it's so strange to know someone intimately for two years (or at least know part of them) and then totally not acknowledge them on the street. I'M SO MUCH BETTER OFF.
And finally, in good news, I got my bracelet from Hike repaired and back yesterday by a great jeweler on 47th -- he only charged me $20, he fixed the broken place and another spot that looked weak, and he cleaned it, in 24 hours! Amazing. So now I get to admire it on my wrist again and think of him, aww. Ok, back to being bored at work. Enjoy the blue skies!
Showing posts with label Mex. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Mex. Show all posts
Thursday, August 11, 2011
Friday, March 11, 2011
Cheaters and Liars and Tears, Oh My
To this day my husband never found out. How the hell did I get away with it? I was a cheater and a liar, and it takes one to know one. That’s why he never suspected me. Because he’s not a cheater and a liar. He never thought in that way.
I just read this article about a guy who's made a movie about divorce, based on his research with real-life divorcees, and it's interesting, mostly because of the excerpts from his interviews. We all want to think this could never be us, and I'm so terrified of it being me that when I read these stories, I try to immediately come up with a reason that my relationship is different, so I can be sure I'm not following that path. But the quote above is from an unfaithful wife (now ex-wife, of course), and it struck a particular nerve with me. A happy nerve, actually. As you probably know, I blame myself for not realizing that Mex was cheating on me, and for not picking up on the clues or red flags or secretive behavior. I'm being candid here -- the hardest part of this terrible thing has been and will continue to be trusting my own judgment again. I know all the rational responses you will have to that, but the stark facts are that I ignored some major warning signs. And hindsight bias is helping me beat myself up for not getting wise much earlier. All that to say that the quote above helped me forgive myself a little. I'm not a cheater or a liar, so I just didn't think that way. The fact that a total stranger said this makes me feel better, because she makes it sound so obvious and true.
Now I just have to determine if my instincts are right this time. I worry about that a lot.
I just read this article about a guy who's made a movie about divorce, based on his research with real-life divorcees, and it's interesting, mostly because of the excerpts from his interviews. We all want to think this could never be us, and I'm so terrified of it being me that when I read these stories, I try to immediately come up with a reason that my relationship is different, so I can be sure I'm not following that path. But the quote above is from an unfaithful wife (now ex-wife, of course), and it struck a particular nerve with me. A happy nerve, actually. As you probably know, I blame myself for not realizing that Mex was cheating on me, and for not picking up on the clues or red flags or secretive behavior. I'm being candid here -- the hardest part of this terrible thing has been and will continue to be trusting my own judgment again. I know all the rational responses you will have to that, but the stark facts are that I ignored some major warning signs. And hindsight bias is helping me beat myself up for not getting wise much earlier. All that to say that the quote above helped me forgive myself a little. I'm not a cheater or a liar, so I just didn't think that way. The fact that a total stranger said this makes me feel better, because she makes it sound so obvious and true.
Now I just have to determine if my instincts are right this time. I worry about that a lot.
Monday, February 7, 2011
So This Is the Miracle That I've Been Dreaming Of
Hiii friends. How are we? Isn't it just sunny and warm enough today to make us happier? I think so.
The weekend was lovely. Since I went to bed at 10 pm on Thursday night, I was able to finally kick my week-long headache, so Friday was just fine. I met Schmillie at Rock Center to catch the F down to THE MEATBALL SHOP, which was amazing and we ate entirely too many balls. I had 3 sliders -- pork with mushroom sauce, beef with classic tomato sauce, and chicken with pesto sauce. We shared a salad and roasted squash side dishes, and then had those homemade ice cream sandwiches -- I got caramel ice cream with a ginger snap and a brownie cookie. Oh, and we split a bottle of wine. DELICIOUS. So full. And we lingered for over two hours, which meant they HATED US. It was great though, because we had no wait when we arrived, and when we left there was a two-hour wait. Suckers.
So then I cabbed it back to Astoria, stopped at home due to Crohn's-related issues, then met Hike at Crescent Lounge for a couple of romantic drinks, then back home. Saturday was mellow during the day, then we met up with Schmannon and Schmeather and others at Sweet Afton for a few drinks, then we went across the street to Ovelia for dinner. It was pretty delicious, and it had a nice atmosphere, but the reviews about the long wait time are all true. No one greeted us for about 10-15 minutes, but then I caught the eye of the manager and told her so, and from then out things went rather smoothly. I had the lamb kebabs with fig and cherry tomatoes, and they were amazing. It was a nice date-dinner with great conversation (I'M REALLY TRYING HARD TO NOT GUSH ALL THE DETAILS RIGHT HERE ARRGGHHH), then back to his house to watch Inception (his first time, my second. It makes much more sense to me now.) We were going to watch Shutter Island afterwards (as I'm insisting on watching it on night where I won't sleep alone, as I'll be to scared) but it was too late, so we're saving that one.
Sunday I had a nice walk (of pride?) home in the sunshine, and went to get a mani/pedi, then grocery shop, then home to make Steelers-themed brownies (with just the yellow and brown Reece's Pieces on top), shower, and relax for a bit. Hike picked me up and we went to Schmess' house for the first half of the game (with a great spread of wings, quesedillas, etc.), then drove to his friend Yoshi's house for the second half party. It was a fun night but SO SAD as far as the game goes. My poor father and brother.
Last night when I got home, my roommate told me she'd seen Mex at the bar where she watched the game. With a girl. Ignoring the girl he was with, actually, and quite drunk. It bothered me for about a minute, and I expected to feel more angsty about it, but it lifted and just kind of went away. It does mean I'm still going to be looking around, hoping I don't run into him in the 'hood, but it doesn't depress me anymore that our terrible situation didn't change him. I mean, if anything, it shows that what happened needed to happen to set me free. And I'm also pleasantly surprised that I don't feel to much about it either way. It helps that I've found a nearly perfect boyfriend -- this is what it's supposed to be like.
ANYWAY, I'm very happy today and I feel awake again -- the sunshine and warmth helps a lot. I'm going to reign in the eating habits this week, and then hopefully get back to exercising soon (but not tonight.) OH confession: I smoked two cigarettes on Friday (one with Schmillie and one at the bar) and then one American Spirit on Sunday night. Just for fun. But I don't feel any daily interest in it, so I really think I've quit. I just like to socially indulge now and then. I think that's permissible, as long as the indulgences are few and far between, right?
And it sounds like my parents will visit again this spring. It seems like my mom didn't realize I wanted them to? Whatever, she's weird, but I asked her specifically and so she wants to and will discuss with Dad. They need to meet some people here and I may not have as much time to visit Ohio this year, so it's a good idea for many reasons. That should be FUN.
Fa la la...
The weekend was lovely. Since I went to bed at 10 pm on Thursday night, I was able to finally kick my week-long headache, so Friday was just fine. I met Schmillie at Rock Center to catch the F down to THE MEATBALL SHOP, which was amazing and we ate entirely too many balls. I had 3 sliders -- pork with mushroom sauce, beef with classic tomato sauce, and chicken with pesto sauce. We shared a salad and roasted squash side dishes, and then had those homemade ice cream sandwiches -- I got caramel ice cream with a ginger snap and a brownie cookie. Oh, and we split a bottle of wine. DELICIOUS. So full. And we lingered for over two hours, which meant they HATED US. It was great though, because we had no wait when we arrived, and when we left there was a two-hour wait. Suckers.
So then I cabbed it back to Astoria, stopped at home due to Crohn's-related issues, then met Hike at Crescent Lounge for a couple of romantic drinks, then back home. Saturday was mellow during the day, then we met up with Schmannon and Schmeather and others at Sweet Afton for a few drinks, then we went across the street to Ovelia for dinner. It was pretty delicious, and it had a nice atmosphere, but the reviews about the long wait time are all true. No one greeted us for about 10-15 minutes, but then I caught the eye of the manager and told her so, and from then out things went rather smoothly. I had the lamb kebabs with fig and cherry tomatoes, and they were amazing. It was a nice date-dinner with great conversation (I'M REALLY TRYING HARD TO NOT GUSH ALL THE DETAILS RIGHT HERE ARRGGHHH), then back to his house to watch Inception (his first time, my second. It makes much more sense to me now.) We were going to watch Shutter Island afterwards (as I'm insisting on watching it on night where I won't sleep alone, as I'll be to scared) but it was too late, so we're saving that one.
Sunday I had a nice walk (of pride?) home in the sunshine, and went to get a mani/pedi, then grocery shop, then home to make Steelers-themed brownies (with just the yellow and brown Reece's Pieces on top), shower, and relax for a bit. Hike picked me up and we went to Schmess' house for the first half of the game (with a great spread of wings, quesedillas, etc.), then drove to his friend Yoshi's house for the second half party. It was a fun night but SO SAD as far as the game goes. My poor father and brother.
Last night when I got home, my roommate told me she'd seen Mex at the bar where she watched the game. With a girl. Ignoring the girl he was with, actually, and quite drunk. It bothered me for about a minute, and I expected to feel more angsty about it, but it lifted and just kind of went away. It does mean I'm still going to be looking around, hoping I don't run into him in the 'hood, but it doesn't depress me anymore that our terrible situation didn't change him. I mean, if anything, it shows that what happened needed to happen to set me free. And I'm also pleasantly surprised that I don't feel to much about it either way. It helps that I've found a nearly perfect boyfriend -- this is what it's supposed to be like.
ANYWAY, I'm very happy today and I feel awake again -- the sunshine and warmth helps a lot. I'm going to reign in the eating habits this week, and then hopefully get back to exercising soon (but not tonight.) OH confession: I smoked two cigarettes on Friday (one with Schmillie and one at the bar) and then one American Spirit on Sunday night. Just for fun. But I don't feel any daily interest in it, so I really think I've quit. I just like to socially indulge now and then. I think that's permissible, as long as the indulgences are few and far between, right?
And it sounds like my parents will visit again this spring. It seems like my mom didn't realize I wanted them to? Whatever, she's weird, but I asked her specifically and so she wants to and will discuss with Dad. They need to meet some people here and I may not have as much time to visit Ohio this year, so it's a good idea for many reasons. That should be FUN.
Fa la la...
Friday, October 15, 2010
Just When You Think You've Gotten Away With It
My office is a ghost town today! I have a feeling I'll be enjoying the bounty of the internet quite a bit. I also tracked down the lady singer from the Avett Brothers concert, so I'm checking out her Youtube offerings, though there is not much. What do you think?
The Munchers are discussing starting a month-long self-improvement game, that involves setting personal goals and getting points for reaching them. It's sort of a competition, but with friendly encouragement included. I think we're still working on details, but if it doesn't take off soon, I'll start on my goal list myself. One of my items is to track my food again, so we'll be returning to that shortly. In fact, I can do it today, though I don't know what I'm having for lunch yet. I let myself buy (and I get one of those a week!)
So last night was a much-needed night in. I got home and Skyped with Britch for an hour and a half or so, and we got all caught up and my psyche feels more balanced again. Hike texted me during the day and I was pleased.
Oh right, so other than the fact that I need to trim down a bit for myself, as well as work these muscles again, as I can tell I'm not as flexible as I used to be, I also want to make sure I'll feel OK taking off my clothes in front of Hike or someone like him. Ha, this is why I always liked slightly chubby guys, I think. Hike is really fit and seems smooth and it makes me nervous to be all jiggly and lumpy. So yeah, another motivating factor. I mean, who knows if it'll happen, but I must get prepared.
As I was falling asleep last night (early! finally!), I was thinking about the Mex situation, and how I'll handle it when I'm more seriously dating someone new. As in, how I'd talk about it, or what I'd do if we ran into him in the neighborhood. I think the latter would make me very uncomfortable and I'd want to leave the establishment (if it were indoors), but I am not sure how to explain that to a suitor. It's not that I want Mex back in my life, or that I still have romantic feelings for him, but I just still have a lot of pain and anger about what he did. And I feel like that will seem as if I'm too hung up on it, and I probably AM too hung up on it, but I don't know what to do. I mean, I'm progressing, I just don't want to turn somebody new off. Anyway, I'm not looking for an exact answer, I'm just mulling this over.
So right, then at 5:30 this morning I am awakened by a text message. My phone just beeps once and doesn't usually wake me up, but I must've been rolling over or something so I wasn't as asleep. Anyway, it's Mex (and we haven't talked in awhile now -- maybe nearly 2 months?) and he said "You were right." I immediately roll my eyes and think "Oh god, the baiting of an alocoholic," because my friends who are more experienced with the disease have taught me about this. Then the second thing I think is "Oh god, does he have an STD or something else horrible?" (I wasn't entirely awake, obviously, and I am a worrier by nature, as you know.) So I respond "About?" Dumb move, Stevie. He then is like "Oh, u r awake!" etc. He misses me, he wants to see me, and then he tried calling, and I ignored it all. The last one was just a pleading "baby" and for fuck's sake, man. It was him crying wolf, being wasted, and being lonely, and it's sad. I will say it's slightly better that I wasn't entirely awake at the time, because when I woke up for real this morning, it sort of just seemed like a bad dream. (And I later dreamed about snakes, so you know, they connected.) And I'm also encouraged that I'm not totally messed up by hearing from him, or hearing such things from him. I'll admit it's nice to know that I'm not missing out on anything, as he's still a drunk, desperate loser, and it's also nice to know that YEAH it's not that easy to get over me, shithead. But you know, in general I don't want to think about it much, and I think I can accomplish that.
Right, that happened. But onwards. The weekend should be great, and nice and cold and fall-ish! Today I have fun lunch plans with the two local Munchers, and then tonight I'm going to Park Slope to see a friend's band with Schmillie, and at first I was thinking "Oh, I'm too old and tired," but then I realized that 1) I miss her and 2) I don't have much else planned this weekend, so that's lame. Tomorrow I'm having brunch at Il Bambino in Astoria with Schmammi (where I didn't get to go on my brunch date last weekend), and that's it so far. I know Mars (my date from Monday) has a wedding in NJ this weekend, so he won't be around, but perhaps Hike will want to meet up. That would be lovely. Happy Friday!
Food today:
B - Honey Bunches, coffee, milk
L - soup & half sandwich at 'Wichcraft
D - TBD
S - beer tonight
The Munchers are discussing starting a month-long self-improvement game, that involves setting personal goals and getting points for reaching them. It's sort of a competition, but with friendly encouragement included. I think we're still working on details, but if it doesn't take off soon, I'll start on my goal list myself. One of my items is to track my food again, so we'll be returning to that shortly. In fact, I can do it today, though I don't know what I'm having for lunch yet. I let myself buy (and I get one of those a week!)
So last night was a much-needed night in. I got home and Skyped with Britch for an hour and a half or so, and we got all caught up and my psyche feels more balanced again. Hike texted me during the day and I was pleased.
Oh right, so other than the fact that I need to trim down a bit for myself, as well as work these muscles again, as I can tell I'm not as flexible as I used to be, I also want to make sure I'll feel OK taking off my clothes in front of Hike or someone like him. Ha, this is why I always liked slightly chubby guys, I think. Hike is really fit and seems smooth and it makes me nervous to be all jiggly and lumpy. So yeah, another motivating factor. I mean, who knows if it'll happen, but I must get prepared.
As I was falling asleep last night (early! finally!), I was thinking about the Mex situation, and how I'll handle it when I'm more seriously dating someone new. As in, how I'd talk about it, or what I'd do if we ran into him in the neighborhood. I think the latter would make me very uncomfortable and I'd want to leave the establishment (if it were indoors), but I am not sure how to explain that to a suitor. It's not that I want Mex back in my life, or that I still have romantic feelings for him, but I just still have a lot of pain and anger about what he did. And I feel like that will seem as if I'm too hung up on it, and I probably AM too hung up on it, but I don't know what to do. I mean, I'm progressing, I just don't want to turn somebody new off. Anyway, I'm not looking for an exact answer, I'm just mulling this over.
So right, then at 5:30 this morning I am awakened by a text message. My phone just beeps once and doesn't usually wake me up, but I must've been rolling over or something so I wasn't as asleep. Anyway, it's Mex (and we haven't talked in awhile now -- maybe nearly 2 months?) and he said "You were right." I immediately roll my eyes and think "Oh god, the baiting of an alocoholic," because my friends who are more experienced with the disease have taught me about this. Then the second thing I think is "Oh god, does he have an STD or something else horrible?" (I wasn't entirely awake, obviously, and I am a worrier by nature, as you know.) So I respond "About?" Dumb move, Stevie. He then is like "Oh, u r awake!" etc. He misses me, he wants to see me, and then he tried calling, and I ignored it all. The last one was just a pleading "baby" and for fuck's sake, man. It was him crying wolf, being wasted, and being lonely, and it's sad. I will say it's slightly better that I wasn't entirely awake at the time, because when I woke up for real this morning, it sort of just seemed like a bad dream. (And I later dreamed about snakes, so you know, they connected.) And I'm also encouraged that I'm not totally messed up by hearing from him, or hearing such things from him. I'll admit it's nice to know that I'm not missing out on anything, as he's still a drunk, desperate loser, and it's also nice to know that YEAH it's not that easy to get over me, shithead. But you know, in general I don't want to think about it much, and I think I can accomplish that.
Right, that happened. But onwards. The weekend should be great, and nice and cold and fall-ish! Today I have fun lunch plans with the two local Munchers, and then tonight I'm going to Park Slope to see a friend's band with Schmillie, and at first I was thinking "Oh, I'm too old and tired," but then I realized that 1) I miss her and 2) I don't have much else planned this weekend, so that's lame. Tomorrow I'm having brunch at Il Bambino in Astoria with Schmammi (where I didn't get to go on my brunch date last weekend), and that's it so far. I know Mars (my date from Monday) has a wedding in NJ this weekend, so he won't be around, but perhaps Hike will want to meet up. That would be lovely. Happy Friday!
Food today:
B - Honey Bunches, coffee, milk
L - soup & half sandwich at 'Wichcraft
D - TBD
S - beer tonight
Wednesday, September 1, 2010
Boyzzz Update
I find it odd that just as I'm writing my blog last night about the stupid men in my orbit, who should start drunkenly texting me (at like 8 pm) but Mex? Of course, now that I've stopped thinking about him much at all, he appears to say "I wish it were different; this world is stupid. Or, silly at least." Yes, that is what he said. It sort of freaked me out with the vague darkness, so I responded "What's going on?" and it went from there, as he was drunk and saying odd vague things, as he likes to do, and I get frustrated trying to figure out the point. I finally asked what he wanted, to which he responded "nothing good" and COME ON BUDDY, HAVE A CONVERSATION LIKE NORMAL PEOPLE. Whatever, it's not throwing me off like it has in the past. He did ask if I wanted to meet up and play pool, and he said he missed me a lot, and I said that I didn't want to see him. So that was good, on my part, at least. And I know I'm supposed to not care at all, but I feel a bit vindicated that he misses me. I hope it hurts forever, buddy. And I don't miss him, which is nice. I miss having someone, but certainly not someone like that. But still, I wish he'd just grow up and change his life if he hates it so much. I believe the phrase "living in a nightmare" was used. Hi, you have control of that. Loser.
So yeah, unfortunately I've thought about him more today as a result of it. Nothing really concrete, he's just popped into my head. I don't want him back, but I wish he weren't so gross, and I still wonder how he went so wrong. But it's a detached feeling, too, and that's good. I just want to get back to forgetting about him entirely.
And I talked to my other female work friend today about the Smee Frisbeegate. She's a very calm, sort of the opposite of boy-crazy person, and she just laughed at his lack of suaveness and reminded me of how paranoid he is about inappropriateness at work. She's said he probably left the Frisbee then went back to his desk and started panicking and debating if he should go back and get it before I saw it...which I can see. So he'd worked himself into a lather by the time I stopped by. She also said that some of the partners may frown upon a special relationship of that sort, and that's probably his concern...and he's also worked up because he knows he has feelings. Anyway, she also made me feel not insane, and we laughed at his paranoia. I'm still keeping my distance, OH and she advised to let him make any first moves that may occur, as he'll need to or else be totally freaked out. Which is fine with me -- I'm not about to proposition him. And I also am determined to be less aggressive in my future male relationships. It makes me self-conscious and I don't want to have to be, even though waiting for men makes me very impatient. Stupid men, why do I love you so much?
And...tonight's veggie share also had PEACHES AND PLUMS. God, I want to marry summer stone fruit. Or maybe I should name my first daughter Summer Stone Fruit?
So yeah, unfortunately I've thought about him more today as a result of it. Nothing really concrete, he's just popped into my head. I don't want him back, but I wish he weren't so gross, and I still wonder how he went so wrong. But it's a detached feeling, too, and that's good. I just want to get back to forgetting about him entirely.
And I talked to my other female work friend today about the Smee Frisbeegate. She's a very calm, sort of the opposite of boy-crazy person, and she just laughed at his lack of suaveness and reminded me of how paranoid he is about inappropriateness at work. She's said he probably left the Frisbee then went back to his desk and started panicking and debating if he should go back and get it before I saw it...which I can see. So he'd worked himself into a lather by the time I stopped by. She also said that some of the partners may frown upon a special relationship of that sort, and that's probably his concern...and he's also worked up because he knows he has feelings. Anyway, she also made me feel not insane, and we laughed at his paranoia. I'm still keeping my distance, OH and she advised to let him make any first moves that may occur, as he'll need to or else be totally freaked out. Which is fine with me -- I'm not about to proposition him. And I also am determined to be less aggressive in my future male relationships. It makes me self-conscious and I don't want to have to be, even though waiting for men makes me very impatient. Stupid men, why do I love you so much?
And...tonight's veggie share also had PEACHES AND PLUMS. God, I want to marry summer stone fruit. Or maybe I should name my first daughter Summer Stone Fruit?
Thursday, August 5, 2010
The Stevie Centennial
This is my 100th post! Yes, that's exactly why I waited so long to put one up. I was building anticipation!
I will try to catch you up briefly on where in the world I've been this summer...I think we'll go back to our old friend, the bulleted list.
I will try to catch you up briefly on where in the world I've been this summer...I think we'll go back to our old friend, the bulleted list.
- Last week I was away on vacation, and spent some time in Traverse City, MI (home of my Grandma) and also in Toledo, OH, my hometown. It was very relaxing and outdoorsy. In TC, we spent lots of time at the bay, throwing a tennis ball around in the water or lying on the beach. We lazily tubed down the Platte River. We ate well and often. To combat some of that, my dad and I took a 25-mile bike ride through vineyards on the peninsula (between Traverse's East and West Bays of Lake Michigan), with the vineyard at the highest point as our goal (and then back home). Check it out--there was a gorgeous view, and I tasted some sweet cherry wine. We'd borrowed the bikes from my Gram's neighbor, and the downside was that mine wouldn't change gears for the uphill part of the ride (until I figured out how to kick the chain over myself)...so by the end, I had a very strained tendon on my right knee, but I healed in 24 hours. I also fell off into the bushes at the side of the road once, but it's because I'm short (not because of the Cherry Wine! Shut up, Dad!) -- I was stopping the bike and it tipped downhill (to my right) and my toes couldn't touch the ground on that side, so whoops. I think that's where I got what appears to be a Poison Oak scratch on my leg...
- Once back in Toledo, I spent lots of time with some of my best friends from high school and their adorable 2-year-old, who began calling me Princess (as well as Stephanie.) I'm not sure what started it, but I encouraged it by calling him Princess as well, so it provided me with lots of amusement. We took him to the pool one day, and he was terrified of the water (despite the turtle water wings I'd brought him), but he eventually made it in. He also learned the hard way not to run by the pool, as he fell on the concrete and scraped himself a little. Luckily Aunt Stephanie was the nearest to him, so I scooped him up and made it better, and got extra cuddle time as a reward. (As long as I can give him back when it's cranky pre-nap time, I love pretending to be a parent.) I spent time with the family at home, too, getting my nails did with my mom, going out to dinner, and finally making use of my parents' fire pit on my last night there. Gorgeous.
- All in all, it was a great break and I really needed all that nature time. Still, with so much downtime, I found myself back in some very painful thought cycles about the whole Mex breakup/cheating/lying/being a bastard thing. It's really just rage and pain at this point, but I'm upset that I'm still mired in it. I'm sure seeing him after his return to town (as he was away for a month in Minnesota, which was lovely for me) didn't help, but it wasn't like we made up or anything. I guess I'm nice in person because I'm not used to being a combative bitch (are you surprised?) but I'd rather he just not exist, so that's been wearing on me.
- I'm sure the other reason for that is because I was lacking some male distraction on vacation, which sucks because ideally I wouldn't need one to be OK, but clearly that's not the case.
- So back to town and back to my male distractions, whee! While I never heard from Montana, I still think of him fondly and wonder if someday, when/if he moves back to town, we will reconnect. I know he's not perfect but he was so lovely for a brief time, so whatever happens, I'm very thankful to have met him and rebounded with him. (I should write cards for Hallmark.) Blackbeard is back to being pretty darn charming (after a bout with walking pneumonia which made him very quiet and withdrawn.) My OTHER work boyfriend is also in play. Have I talked about him yet? He's the one I talk to more, and who makes mooney eyes at me a lot, and clearly finds me thrilling, but I'm not quite as physically attracted to him. That said, he was diagnosed with diabetes last spring and has had to make some big lifestyle changes (so it'll go away) and he's getting much cuter. (I know, I know, I'm terrible, but it's not that serious! He's almost cured!) So really, I think I'm getting in on the ground floor here, and things will only be improving. We've started Blackberry Messaging (BBMing) occasionally, and we just blush at each other a lot in the office. When everybody eats lunch in the conference room, I always look up to find him staring at me. He actually has told me he loves me, but more in a work context, which sounds weird. We were complaining about a few bad receptionists here in the past, and he said something like, "...except you. I love you." Blushy blush...even if he's just talking about my mad phone-answering skillz. And I have a story about yesterday, too, but let's start a new bullet point:
- I was annoyed because the new receptionist that I'm training isn't quite as detail-oriented as I am, and she'd failed to finish one part of a project that was needed by a certain time and now I was having to rush to help finish it. I get cranky about these things. I briefly told him what was going on (or vented, fine) and he said "Well, not everybody can be like you..." and I THOUGHT HE WAS MOCKING ME. I have been around my family too much lately, as they like to tease me about being perfect and they call me The Queen sarcastically. I mean, most of you know me, right? It's not off-base that I'm a bit controlling or whatever, and I usually think I'm right. Fine, so what, who cares. But so when he said that, I said "Oh no, do I come off like that?! I don't mean to!" and he was all confused and I said "Oh, you're being serious? I thought you meant I was acting like a know-it-all!" and he said "No!" and oops, awkward laughing, walking away. So when I was heading home, I stopped in his office to say goodnight (like I sometimes do, shut up), and I just said "I apologize for not taking the compliment well...I've been around my family too much lately, so I thought you were teasing me." And he said "What?! No. I was laughing about that afterwards -- you're the last person who would act holier-than-thou." And I said "Tell that to my brother," and yadda yadda it was fine, and I thanked him for the compliment and couldn't make eye contact and got all red. So I like him a little, and I think we have a thing going on, but it may never materialize as you know, it's a tiny office. Still, it's refreshing because he's seen me act like an idiot, or be stressed out, or be on top of things, or hungover, and he still looks at me like I'm just amazing and it's disarming. So it's nice to have some flirtation during the day, not to mention two eligible bachelors to enjoy.
- What should we call him? So far I can only think of mean names, like The Other One. Or Diabetes. That's terrible. Hmm...TBD.
- Otherwise, the summer has been fun and busy with softball, kickball, etc. I'm eating lots of fresh fruits and veggies from my CSA, and recently discovered the joys of Sugar Plums. They're real! Not just in a Christmas song! (Though now I can't find them on the internets, so maybe my CSA made up that name...)
- I also have to drop the 4 pounds I gained on vacation, but I think my diet will mostly take care of that, like it usually does. I have NOT been exercising, at the gym at least, because this heat makes me want to do nothing. After having two extracurricular games a week and sweating for hours, my free nights are usually spent catching up on DVR in front of the AC. This is naughty, I know, but I am not beating myself up too much. I will want to do more when the temperature is more reasonable again (see: 25-mile bike ride in Northern Michigan, where it's in the 70/80s and not humid.)
- Schmauren moved to Boston. Mex is a monster who should move away/die. Britch has been MIA in Laos for six weeks. While these things made me a bit lonely, I am happy to say that I've extended my social circle a bit and also gotten to spend more time with my best friends outside of my borough. I'm spent more social time with both Schmess and Schmannon, who I met through Schmauren. Schmess and I are on the same kickball team and even hit the town a few Saturdays ago. We did quite well on the man-meeting front, though she has a boyfriend so was just my wing, until I hit my wall and decided I suddenly hated the guy I had been talking to for an hour. Hello, Irish Goodbye. Schmannon was very generous and took me with her to a Cheap Trick concert a few weeks ago! We got tipsy on vodka-iced tea-lemonade things and yummy Southern food first, and then laughed along with middle-aged Long Islanders at Cheap Trick, and then left early once Squeeze started playing. (Who? Exactly.) We must make a pool date soon, YOU HEAR ME?
- Annndddd, I've been traveling to Brooklyn to spend time with my favorite sapphic ladies, Schmillie and the lovely Schmobly. (Haaa.) We went to a Brooklyn Cyclones game on July 4th (with Schmannon) and then Schmannon and I rode the Cyclone TWICE while the gays rode their gay ferris wheel, and another weekend we took public transportation to the beach (indeed!), and yet another time we had a lovely bison burger BBQ hosted by the magnanimous Schmevor. I love nothing more in the summer than sitting around someone's patio, drinking and bullshitting and watching it grow dark.
Monday, June 7, 2010
Back to Whelmed and What I Ate
I think this was my longest break yet. Ugh, this whole "having two jobs at the same firm" thing is seriously cutting into my internet time! They need to fill the receptionist position but so far it doesn't seem as if we've made progress, but I am definitely enjoying learning the office management and book keeping stuff. When I do very important things like cut a check, I feel so proud. Next stop: ordering office supplies and soda, which I am way too excited about.
So...what should I catch you up on? There isn't any major news, but lots of the same stuff. Still flirting with a few boys though there hasn't been any kissing for awhile (though maybe that will change next weekend, when the drummer comes back to town?) I met a too-nerdy guy on Saturday night while running the pool table at a gay bar on 14th Street who plays the tuba for the Metropolitan Opera, which is great, but he is possibly going to murder me so I am not sure I want to hang out. Oh, and he's straight, but going through a divorce, 41, with two boys. Yikes. (He called me on Sunday and wants to play pool again, as friends, which I apparently made clear when he first asked me out, huh? I was sort of mean. But that apparently works.) Got a text from the drummer last night which reads "This weekend. Epic shenanigans." I'm still e-mailing the inappropriate guy-with-a-girlfriend, but that's getting boring. Still have a giant crush on Blackbeard, as I keep learning more fascinating things -- like that he bought the new Black Keys album on vinyl last week. Sigh. Also, today he's wearing like a real suit/tie/possibly suspenders, and it's adorable. (Did I make up the suspenders? I'll report back -- but he looks very Wall Street.)
Annnnd that girl that Mex knocked up called me at work on Friday WHILE WAITING AT THE OBGYN'S OFFICE (I found this out later -- she just rambled some stuff to me, clearly trying to manipulate me since she sees me as a threat to what she wants) and then she found out she'd miscarried. She's insane. I spoke to Mex on Friday evening about it all, and how everytime I try to get out of this situation (or remove myself, in order to heal) I get pulled back in. He apologized profusely for her behavior and we had a reasonable, firm but polite talk, and so I'm in as good a place as I can be with that situation. I'm sad and lonesome, but I have a lot more closure on what happened. (And as terrible as it might seem, I am a little relieved that the situation resolved itself in this way.)
I've been spending a lot of quality time with the Munchers and other friends lately, which is really helpful and lovely, and kickball season is starting this week, as well as our veggie CSA. And my roommate, who's not been home much at all for the past few weeks, will be back to a more normal schedule, which I'm sure I will complain about soon, but for now I'm looking forward to not being alone as much. It makes me do things I shouldn't do, or contact people I shouldn't! I need to keep busy and make new friends, especially since my dear Astorian Schmauren is leaving me soon to move to Boston. On the plus side, I now have a nice weekend getaway destination (i.e. her couch) but I will be so lonely in my neighborhood! I plan to try and co-opt her local friends as my own, but still, it's a sad time for neighborhood homies. It may push me into new social groups, however, which could be good for my love life, right?
Otherwise life goes on, and I'm looking forward to a full and fun summer. I've planned a week's vacation home to see the family (and spend some time in Traverse City, MI!) in late July, which will be relaxing, and there are other upcoming activities to anticipate! Like maybe making out this weekend! (I hope I'm not jinxing myself here.) I missed posting, though, and I promise I'll be better -- I think the big overwhelming learning period at work is slowing down. Cross your fingers for me!
Oh, and foodwise I've been on track during my weeks and a bit worse on the weekends, though it seems to be working just fine for my weight. Now I need to work on more muscle tone, and maybe another 5-10 pounds off, but that might be reaching for the stars. I'm feeling pretty good about my body, which is a very welcome thing!
Food today:
B - string cheese, honey o's, coffee, milk - 5
L - turkey & cheese sammy, yogurt with strawberries - 6
D - tbd
S - beer with Schmauren to catch up on weekends, soup - 3+
Total - Not worrying about it.
So...what should I catch you up on? There isn't any major news, but lots of the same stuff. Still flirting with a few boys though there hasn't been any kissing for awhile (though maybe that will change next weekend, when the drummer comes back to town?) I met a too-nerdy guy on Saturday night while running the pool table at a gay bar on 14th Street who plays the tuba for the Metropolitan Opera, which is great, but he is possibly going to murder me so I am not sure I want to hang out. Oh, and he's straight, but going through a divorce, 41, with two boys. Yikes. (He called me on Sunday and wants to play pool again, as friends, which I apparently made clear when he first asked me out, huh? I was sort of mean. But that apparently works.) Got a text from the drummer last night which reads "This weekend. Epic shenanigans." I'm still e-mailing the inappropriate guy-with-a-girlfriend, but that's getting boring. Still have a giant crush on Blackbeard, as I keep learning more fascinating things -- like that he bought the new Black Keys album on vinyl last week. Sigh. Also, today he's wearing like a real suit/tie/possibly suspenders, and it's adorable. (Did I make up the suspenders? I'll report back -- but he looks very Wall Street.)
Annnnd that girl that Mex knocked up called me at work on Friday WHILE WAITING AT THE OBGYN'S OFFICE (I found this out later -- she just rambled some stuff to me, clearly trying to manipulate me since she sees me as a threat to what she wants) and then she found out she'd miscarried. She's insane. I spoke to Mex on Friday evening about it all, and how everytime I try to get out of this situation (or remove myself, in order to heal) I get pulled back in. He apologized profusely for her behavior and we had a reasonable, firm but polite talk, and so I'm in as good a place as I can be with that situation. I'm sad and lonesome, but I have a lot more closure on what happened. (And as terrible as it might seem, I am a little relieved that the situation resolved itself in this way.)
I've been spending a lot of quality time with the Munchers and other friends lately, which is really helpful and lovely, and kickball season is starting this week, as well as our veggie CSA. And my roommate, who's not been home much at all for the past few weeks, will be back to a more normal schedule, which I'm sure I will complain about soon, but for now I'm looking forward to not being alone as much. It makes me do things I shouldn't do, or contact people I shouldn't! I need to keep busy and make new friends, especially since my dear Astorian Schmauren is leaving me soon to move to Boston. On the plus side, I now have a nice weekend getaway destination (i.e. her couch) but I will be so lonely in my neighborhood! I plan to try and co-opt her local friends as my own, but still, it's a sad time for neighborhood homies. It may push me into new social groups, however, which could be good for my love life, right?
Otherwise life goes on, and I'm looking forward to a full and fun summer. I've planned a week's vacation home to see the family (and spend some time in Traverse City, MI!) in late July, which will be relaxing, and there are other upcoming activities to anticipate! Like maybe making out this weekend! (I hope I'm not jinxing myself here.) I missed posting, though, and I promise I'll be better -- I think the big overwhelming learning period at work is slowing down. Cross your fingers for me!
Oh, and foodwise I've been on track during my weeks and a bit worse on the weekends, though it seems to be working just fine for my weight. Now I need to work on more muscle tone, and maybe another 5-10 pounds off, but that might be reaching for the stars. I'm feeling pretty good about my body, which is a very welcome thing!
Food today:
B - string cheese, honey o's, coffee, milk - 5
L - turkey & cheese sammy, yogurt with strawberries - 6
D - tbd
S - beer with Schmauren to catch up on weekends, soup - 3+
Total - Not worrying about it.
Wednesday, May 26, 2010
Ch-ch-ch-changes and What I Ate
Oh friends, this week is pretty crazy. I will give you the bullet points, since I can't take time to write very much.
B - honey bunches, coffee, milk - 4
L - sammy, yogurt with blueberries - 6
D - leftover chicken tikka masala - 6?
S - grapes, string cheese, granny bar, soup? - tbd
Total - around 20, I think
WEIGHT, as of yesterday morning - 138!
- Monday morning I spoke to Mex's dad, since I think the situation needed some intervention and I can't be the only sane person who knows what's going on. It was a good decision -- apparently his dad came down yesterday.
- BUT after texting to learn that on Monday night with Mex, I didn't talk to him yesterday or today so far. And I won't. It's been a little while since we've gone a day without talking (even when the talking was fighting), so it's good but hard to be back on the wagon. And obviously necessary and right. I just feel like know I can leave it in someone else's hands, and that's good.
- SOOO enough of that crap. Yesterday our firm's Office Manager/Book keeper was ARRESTED for embezzling! It was a very exciting/sad day. The police detectives came to get him at the office and everything. He's like an old funny uncle type, in his 60s, and had been here for 10 years. Crazy.
- BUT that means my promotion has been accelerated...to today. They talked to me yesterday about my role and my raise goes into effect today! I'm going to do billing/accounting stuff, plus office managing and some paralegal work. They're already interviewing replacement receptionists. THIS IS GREAT.
- Two more reasons we all love Blackbeard: He owns all of the Arrested Development seasons on DVD (like I do) AND he just started home brewing beer recently! His first batch is an American Pale Ale, and I name dropped "carboy" like nobody's business. It was amazing. So how do we get him to love me?! I feel like I'm still in the "letting him get comfortable with me" phase. He's on the quiet side, as I've said.
- Tonight I have a double-header softball game and it is STEAMING outside. I am going to die. I hate being hot plus I brought black pants, which will definitely be rolled up for maximum air circulation.
- Tomorrow night I'm having drinks with an old NY friend who I haven't seen recently. He wrote a book and wants to pick my brain. I want him to buy me drinks. Perfect!
- This weekend a friend (and her family -- she's a married mom) are coming from Toledo to visit, and I think I'm meeting up with them on Saturday for some Natural History Museum. Two birds with one stone? Yes. Plus, making awkward conversation with 10- and 12-year old boys.
- Yesterday (after a long absense) I saw my hot chef neighbor leaving his apartment in the morning. We sort of talked as we walked in different directions, but then when I got to work I saw that I had a missed call from him? I texted back but then he didn't respond, BUT this reminds me that I may need to make him my lover.
- This morning I awoke to a text from an old friend in Ohio (who is possibly in love with me) that wished me a good day. Very sweet.
- Clearly I need to start dating.
B - honey bunches, coffee, milk - 4
L - sammy, yogurt with blueberries - 6
D - leftover chicken tikka masala - 6?
S - grapes, string cheese, granny bar, soup? - tbd
Total - around 20, I think
WEIGHT, as of yesterday morning - 138!
Monday, May 24, 2010
Monday Bloody Monday and What I Ate
Happy cloudy, oversleeping Monday! How were our weekends?
Mine was mostly great. Friday night (as you know) I walked home with Schmauren, then we hit up this amazing EuroMarket in Astoria to pick out our beer for the Craft Beer Food Pairing Party. We settled on a Maine American Pale Ale from Geary's brewery, mostly because of the lobster on the label, but we also like to support New England. Then we dropped it off at her place before settling down at an outdoor table at Bareburger for bison burgers (yum) and fried accessories. Then it was 8 pm and we were wiped, so back to our respective homes for the night. I prepped the pork that I was going to bring to the party and got it going in the Crock Pot and then caught up on some DVR before bed.
Saturday I managed to sleep in until nearly 11, which is a breakthrough for me. I've always been a good sleeper but with this stress lately I've not been able to shut down my brain enough, so it felt good. It also meant no mani/pedi for me before the party, but that was fine. I did laundry finally, added the BBQ to the pork, and talked to Mex about not talking anymore. Then I met up with Schmauren to walk to Shmess' house. We got there early and helped with a bit of prep, then when all parties had arrived, the tasting began! Everyone managed to stay organized (which can be difficult) so each team (who'd brought a six of beer or a growler and a food pairing) went in order of lightest to darkest beer, and stood up to talk about what they'd brought. The first presenter actually homebrews, soshe brought a hefeweizen that was so good! And she had lots of interesting home brew stuff to say. My team did pulled pork sliders on Hawaiian rolls with that APA. The whole thing went wonderfully, and after the official agenda, we all sat around on the deck and just hung out. At around 10:00, the party was disbanding, and I went to Kelly's with a few new friends because they like divey bars and Shmannon wanted to play pool with me. And I can't resist that.
So the night devolved a bit futher, as we ran into the "not-drinking" Mex there and blah blah blah. But the pool playing was fun! I was up late dealing with some drama, however, then couldn't really sleep on Sunday morning so I got up with 4 hours of sleep under my belt and lots more heartache. I decided to get my mani/pedi, which felt nice, then went back to bed to watch Coalminer's Daughter (though I ran out of time to finish it!) and have a final wrap-up convo with Mex before Lost, the 4.5 hour long extravaganza. And I ordered Chicken Tikka Masala. And then Lost for the evening, then a quick sleep, thankfully. (Also, I was really confused at the end of the finale. Thank goodness for the internets.)
Tonight I have another Harpie dinner at Shmate's house, and I can't wait to spend some low-key hang time with the ladies, as our one male is abandoning us for tonight. (Typical.) And work is very very boring, so I will maybe do some freelancing this afternoon. But it's lunchtime now, la la la.
Food.
B - Special K berries, milk, coffee, granny bar - 6
L - sammy, yogurt with b-nan - 6
D - European-themed delights - ?
S - soup
Total - TBD
Activity - short walk to Kate's, high blood pressure
Mine was mostly great. Friday night (as you know) I walked home with Schmauren, then we hit up this amazing EuroMarket in Astoria to pick out our beer for the Craft Beer Food Pairing Party. We settled on a Maine American Pale Ale from Geary's brewery, mostly because of the lobster on the label, but we also like to support New England. Then we dropped it off at her place before settling down at an outdoor table at Bareburger for bison burgers (yum) and fried accessories. Then it was 8 pm and we were wiped, so back to our respective homes for the night. I prepped the pork that I was going to bring to the party and got it going in the Crock Pot and then caught up on some DVR before bed.
Saturday I managed to sleep in until nearly 11, which is a breakthrough for me. I've always been a good sleeper but with this stress lately I've not been able to shut down my brain enough, so it felt good. It also meant no mani/pedi for me before the party, but that was fine. I did laundry finally, added the BBQ to the pork, and talked to Mex about not talking anymore. Then I met up with Schmauren to walk to Shmess' house. We got there early and helped with a bit of prep, then when all parties had arrived, the tasting began! Everyone managed to stay organized (which can be difficult) so each team (who'd brought a six of beer or a growler and a food pairing) went in order of lightest to darkest beer, and stood up to talk about what they'd brought. The first presenter actually homebrews, soshe brought a hefeweizen that was so good! And she had lots of interesting home brew stuff to say. My team did pulled pork sliders on Hawaiian rolls with that APA. The whole thing went wonderfully, and after the official agenda, we all sat around on the deck and just hung out. At around 10:00, the party was disbanding, and I went to Kelly's with a few new friends because they like divey bars and Shmannon wanted to play pool with me. And I can't resist that.
So the night devolved a bit futher, as we ran into the "not-drinking" Mex there and blah blah blah. But the pool playing was fun! I was up late dealing with some drama, however, then couldn't really sleep on Sunday morning so I got up with 4 hours of sleep under my belt and lots more heartache. I decided to get my mani/pedi, which felt nice, then went back to bed to watch Coalminer's Daughter (though I ran out of time to finish it!) and have a final wrap-up convo with Mex before Lost, the 4.5 hour long extravaganza. And I ordered Chicken Tikka Masala. And then Lost for the evening, then a quick sleep, thankfully. (Also, I was really confused at the end of the finale. Thank goodness for the internets.)
Tonight I have another Harpie dinner at Shmate's house, and I can't wait to spend some low-key hang time with the ladies, as our one male is abandoning us for tonight. (Typical.) And work is very very boring, so I will maybe do some freelancing this afternoon. But it's lunchtime now, la la la.
Food.
B - Special K berries, milk, coffee, granny bar - 6
L - sammy, yogurt with b-nan - 6
D - European-themed delights - ?
S - soup
Total - TBD
Activity - short walk to Kate's, high blood pressure
Friday, May 21, 2010
Short Skirts and Converse and What I Ate
Happy Frrrriday, friends!
It's going to be a lovely warm summery day. I can't wait for the weekend, either. Tonight I'm walking home with Schmauren, then we're doing some shopping for tomorrow's First Annual Astoria Beer Tasting. Which is comprised of a group of friends who are getting together on a somebody's deck to sample craft beers (it is Craft Beer Week, after all) and food pairings. (Schmauren and her friend were the creators.) Each team of two is responsible for bringing a growler or a 6-pack and some tasty treats that pair well with their chosen beer. Schmauren and I are bringing...wait, I can't spoil the surprise. I'll tell you Monday! But tonight we're doing some of our shopping and then hopefully eating a lovely dinner outside somewhere in the 'hood. Then tomorrow I'll need to finally get some laundry done. (It's been more than six weeks. Seriously.) And a mani/pedi at some point, too.
And then Sunday...SUNDAY SUNDAY SUNDAY is the Lost Finale Extravaganza. The party starts at 7 p.m. with a two hour recap show, then from 9 to 11:30 is the series finale. How can I stand 2.5 hours of the drama?! I will probably have a stroke, but it will be great. And then I'll have to DVR Jimmy Kimmel Live: Aloha to Lost on at midnight. Depending on the hangover I have, I'll maybe wait until evening to order some yummy celebratory food. (Meaning if I'm hungover earlier, I may cave and order crap at noon. You never know. Though I'm going to try to pace myself with the beer tasting, and I think it'll help that I don't like hoppy beers!)
Last night I had a lovely, productive coffee date, stopped at the grocery store on the way home, then made a nice scallop, artichoke and tomato buttery sauce for my pasta. There was a little texting with Mex, just to confirm that there is no news, of course, but I'm in a much better place for myself now. (CoffeeDate had some good advice there, too.) And then I caught up on The Office and 30 Rock, and how great was Matt Damon?! I hope they keep him around for awhile. I was just saying the LL really needs to have a boyfriend, if only for a little while, as this whole can't-get-a-man joke is getting tired. (I feel the same way about Ted on How I Met Your Mother, by the way.)
In other news, as many of you are telling me to "marry Blackbeard," and I'm doing what I can, believe me, isn't it a cool coicidence that my favorite song on Band of Horses' new album is called "Blue Beard"? Here's a live performance, though the vocals are tighter on the album version, if you're interested.
So now I'm just listening to the new LCD Soundsystem that everyone is talking about on the internets and pretending to do work. I probably should get started on some real work, but waahhh.
Food plan:
B - Special K Berries, milk, coffee - 4
L - turkey & swiss, yogurt & blueberries - 6
D - TBD
S - string cheese, soup, granny bar? - 2-4
Total - 12-14 plus dinner
Activity - walking 3 miles
Happy weekend, lovers!
It's going to be a lovely warm summery day. I can't wait for the weekend, either. Tonight I'm walking home with Schmauren, then we're doing some shopping for tomorrow's First Annual Astoria Beer Tasting. Which is comprised of a group of friends who are getting together on a somebody's deck to sample craft beers (it is Craft Beer Week, after all) and food pairings. (Schmauren and her friend were the creators.) Each team of two is responsible for bringing a growler or a 6-pack and some tasty treats that pair well with their chosen beer. Schmauren and I are bringing...wait, I can't spoil the surprise. I'll tell you Monday! But tonight we're doing some of our shopping and then hopefully eating a lovely dinner outside somewhere in the 'hood. Then tomorrow I'll need to finally get some laundry done. (It's been more than six weeks. Seriously.) And a mani/pedi at some point, too.
And then Sunday...SUNDAY SUNDAY SUNDAY is the Lost Finale Extravaganza. The party starts at 7 p.m. with a two hour recap show, then from 9 to 11:30 is the series finale. How can I stand 2.5 hours of the drama?! I will probably have a stroke, but it will be great. And then I'll have to DVR Jimmy Kimmel Live: Aloha to Lost on at midnight. Depending on the hangover I have, I'll maybe wait until evening to order some yummy celebratory food. (Meaning if I'm hungover earlier, I may cave and order crap at noon. You never know. Though I'm going to try to pace myself with the beer tasting, and I think it'll help that I don't like hoppy beers!)
Last night I had a lovely, productive coffee date, stopped at the grocery store on the way home, then made a nice scallop, artichoke and tomato buttery sauce for my pasta. There was a little texting with Mex, just to confirm that there is no news, of course, but I'm in a much better place for myself now. (CoffeeDate had some good advice there, too.) And then I caught up on The Office and 30 Rock, and how great was Matt Damon?! I hope they keep him around for awhile. I was just saying the LL really needs to have a boyfriend, if only for a little while, as this whole can't-get-a-man joke is getting tired. (I feel the same way about Ted on How I Met Your Mother, by the way.)
In other news, as many of you are telling me to "marry Blackbeard," and I'm doing what I can, believe me, isn't it a cool coicidence that my favorite song on Band of Horses' new album is called "Blue Beard"? Here's a live performance, though the vocals are tighter on the album version, if you're interested.
So now I'm just listening to the new LCD Soundsystem that everyone is talking about on the internets and pretending to do work. I probably should get started on some real work, but waahhh.
Food plan:
B - Special K Berries, milk, coffee - 4
L - turkey & swiss, yogurt & blueberries - 6
D - TBD
S - string cheese, soup, granny bar? - 2-4
Total - 12-14 plus dinner
Activity - walking 3 miles
Happy weekend, lovers!
Thursday, May 20, 2010
Slacking Off and What I Ate
Oops, I seem to have gone most of this week with only one legitimate post. Well, I'm here to rectify the situation, never fear.
Let's see...Tuesday night I Skyped with Britch again for a bit, and caught up on a little DVR (though I'm still very behind), and then Wednesday I had a softball game after work. Unfortunately it was our first loss of the season, BUT there were so many girls there that I didn't start, and only ended up playing one inning (as the ref called the game early so the 7:00 game could start). Therefore, I don't take much blame for the loss, though I did mess up the one grounder to me. I tried to trap it in my glove but it took a strange hop and jammed my finger instead. Yay, my one shining moment of glory! It was still a fun night, as I hung around for awhile afterwards, talking to the guys. One of my friends is sort of going through his own tough relationship spot, though he's on the opposite end of a problem like mine, but it's good to talk about it. And to have friends, right? I have lovely friends. Who put up with me very patiently.
Tonight I'm meeting Lillie's gf Erin for coffee after work. (Shh, don't tell! Juuuust kidding.) We're going to discuss a project she's working on, and then I'm heading home and going to try to go another night without knowing what's going on with the Mex/keeping-the-baby situation, which is supposedly at a critical point this week. I told myself I'm not initiating any contact now, as preparation for ceasing contact altogether, but it's REALLY HARD to not know what's going on. At least, most of the time, when I don't distract myself. I didn't respond to a text from him yesterday and now I'm starting to get an itchy trigger finger, but I'll hold on as long as I can.
Yikes, can't even talk about it. Let's change the subject. Blackbeard's getting friendlier, though I don't really feel the romance blossoming yet. Though he does catch my eye a lot when we all eat lunch in the conference room...we're often thinking the same thing. And this is ridiculous, but also a sign that we're soulmates: Last week one of the partners at my firm was home sick, and sent an e-mail to let us know, mentioning that "those of you who saw my antics yesterday will understand." I hadn't seen the antics, so I asked Blackbeard what was up with that, and he explained that the partner's nose was so dry from his cold that at one point he sneezed and blew blood all over the front of his shirt, and didn't have another to change into. Ha! And gross! So this week, when the partner re-emerged at work, I said that I'd been filled in and I hoped he was feeling better. Also, I carry a Tide To-Go pen with me at all times, if he should ever need to wash out blood again. He said, "Yeah, so does [Blackbeard], but he wouldn't let me use it, since he didn't want to infect it with blood!" In conclusion, both Blackbeard and I carry Tide To-Go pens, and thus we are meant to be.
I didn't get much exercise this week, I'll admit, but I did walk a bit yesterday with the softball travel, and frankly, I'm just trying to make it through each day. BUT I'm still controlling my eating so my weight is fine. Can I be one of those people who only exercises only 2-3 (ok, 1?) times a week but eats healthy and is therefore in shape, please? Let's see.
Well, I hope you are all enjoying this beautiful Thursday. Till tomorrow!
Food.
B - Special K Red Berries, milk, coffee - 4
L - turkey & swiss, yogurt with berries - 6
D - pasta with scallops and artichokes and sauce - 6ish?
S - string cheese, soup, grapes - 3
Total - 19
Let's see...Tuesday night I Skyped with Britch again for a bit, and caught up on a little DVR (though I'm still very behind), and then Wednesday I had a softball game after work. Unfortunately it was our first loss of the season, BUT there were so many girls there that I didn't start, and only ended up playing one inning (as the ref called the game early so the 7:00 game could start). Therefore, I don't take much blame for the loss, though I did mess up the one grounder to me. I tried to trap it in my glove but it took a strange hop and jammed my finger instead. Yay, my one shining moment of glory! It was still a fun night, as I hung around for awhile afterwards, talking to the guys. One of my friends is sort of going through his own tough relationship spot, though he's on the opposite end of a problem like mine, but it's good to talk about it. And to have friends, right? I have lovely friends. Who put up with me very patiently.
Tonight I'm meeting Lillie's gf Erin for coffee after work. (Shh, don't tell! Juuuust kidding.) We're going to discuss a project she's working on, and then I'm heading home and going to try to go another night without knowing what's going on with the Mex/keeping-the-baby situation, which is supposedly at a critical point this week. I told myself I'm not initiating any contact now, as preparation for ceasing contact altogether, but it's REALLY HARD to not know what's going on. At least, most of the time, when I don't distract myself. I didn't respond to a text from him yesterday and now I'm starting to get an itchy trigger finger, but I'll hold on as long as I can.
Yikes, can't even talk about it. Let's change the subject. Blackbeard's getting friendlier, though I don't really feel the romance blossoming yet. Though he does catch my eye a lot when we all eat lunch in the conference room...we're often thinking the same thing. And this is ridiculous, but also a sign that we're soulmates: Last week one of the partners at my firm was home sick, and sent an e-mail to let us know, mentioning that "those of you who saw my antics yesterday will understand." I hadn't seen the antics, so I asked Blackbeard what was up with that, and he explained that the partner's nose was so dry from his cold that at one point he sneezed and blew blood all over the front of his shirt, and didn't have another to change into. Ha! And gross! So this week, when the partner re-emerged at work, I said that I'd been filled in and I hoped he was feeling better. Also, I carry a Tide To-Go pen with me at all times, if he should ever need to wash out blood again. He said, "Yeah, so does [Blackbeard], but he wouldn't let me use it, since he didn't want to infect it with blood!" In conclusion, both Blackbeard and I carry Tide To-Go pens, and thus we are meant to be.
I didn't get much exercise this week, I'll admit, but I did walk a bit yesterday with the softball travel, and frankly, I'm just trying to make it through each day. BUT I'm still controlling my eating so my weight is fine. Can I be one of those people who only exercises only 2-3 (ok, 1?) times a week but eats healthy and is therefore in shape, please? Let's see.
Well, I hope you are all enjoying this beautiful Thursday. Till tomorrow!
Food.
B - Special K Red Berries, milk, coffee - 4
L - turkey & swiss, yogurt with berries - 6
D - pasta with scallops and artichokes and sauce - 6ish?
S - string cheese, soup, grapes - 3
Total - 19
Tuesday, May 18, 2010
I'm a Montauk Monster and What I Ate
Welcome back, me! And you! Yes, I got back Sunday night, but I was in no mood for posting yesterday. I'm sorry. (Wow, that was grumpy. Let me backtrack.)
The weekend was amazing! I should have pictures uploaded to show you tomorrow, but until then, I'll give you the verbal (textual?) recap. I took the Jitney on Friday at 5:30, and it was so easy compared to taking those stupid Bolt buses or whatever. Also, you get a snack and a drink! And you pay with a credit card once you're on board (though you reserve your spot online ahead of time.) So the ride was smooth and fine, and we got to Montauk at about 8:30. It was dark and cool and damply breezy in a good way, since I had to wander awhile before I found my motel. (Once I actually found it, I felt like a dunce as it was very easy nearby, but their street signs are hard to spot as they're vertical posts in the ground, and so my map wasn't helping since I didn't know what street I was on.) I checked in and the nice desk clerk went over the town map with me, circling places he recommended for eating, hanging out, hiking, etc. Then I settled into my beachy motel room, took a long, Aveda-accessorized shower, and watched some Food Network before bed.
Saturday I woke up slowly, then walked the two short block's to Anthony's Pancake House. This diner was across the street from John's Pancake House, and there is a big rivalry, but my trusty desk clerk had said he preferred Anthony's, so I stayed on that team. I had a tomato, onion and feta omelette and lots of coffee, read my New York Magazine, and then headed back to the room to sunscreen up before heading out to find the trail head and hike Shadmoor State Park for awhile. I saw lots of pretty butterflies and wandered on sandy trails in the brush, and little wooden bridges over streams, and then finally along the bluffs that overlooked the Atlantic Ocean as well as Ditch Plains beach, which is the main surfing beach in Montauk, though the waves weren't really tubular when I was observing. Then I walked back through town to explore a bit more, and since it was the Montauk Music Festival weekend, there were bands playing in the town center's open space as well as in all of the bars and restaurants. I wasn't actually hungry for lunch, so I meandered back to the motel, poking around in shops and in a little boutique on my way, where I tried on pretty summer dresses. And some kids opened the dressing room curtain wide to show me to the store. So back to the room for more sunscreen and to hop into my swimsuit, then I hit the beach (which was across the street from my motel) for some sunning and reading time. At about 3, after many hours outdoors, I was sunned out, so I headed back to my room to write in my journal and then take a lovely nap.
I woke up groggy around 6, then got myself cleaned up and went to Shagwong for dinner (as I'd checked out menus earlier on my walk.) I ordered steamed mussels in white wine and a small house salad, plus two glasses of wine, and it was delicious and there was a nice mellow band playing to help set the mood. After eating, I went next door to The Gig Shack for a "classic rock" band and a beer. I sort of talked to a few people in my age range, but there were not many around (maybe four, total) and so I got bored after one beer, which was fine. (Oh, and I'd been keeping up a texting conversation with the Drummer since Friday afternoon...but that seemed to finally dwindle on Saturday night.) I sleepily walked back to my room and tucked myself in early for some Saturday Night Live and sleep.
Sunday I woke up bright and early again (which is 9 am, for me) and headed back to Anthony's, thinking I didn't want a big breakfast so that I could actually get lunch somewhere (which I wasn't hungry for on Saturday.) I ended up just getting two eggs, sausage and cinnamon toast, which of course lasted me all day anyway. Then I headed back to the beach with plans to stick it out for 3 hours, but only lasted nearly 2. It was pretty hot in the sun, and I'd try to give myself a whore's bath in the ocean to cool off, but the ocean water was painfully cold, so I finally decided my little skin had enough sun and went back to the room to shower, pack up, and then relax for awhile before I caught the 3:15 bus back.
All in all, I got through some of my foggy thinking about my current Mex situation, and came to some helpful conclusions. Of course, there was some drama yesterday (hence no post) when I got back so it all immediately blew up in my face, but I think I've regained that peace today. I'm trying to, at least.
In other news, remember that guy with the girlfriend with whom I made out? (You try to not end that sentence in a preposition!) I did e-mail him the following Wednesday, like I'd promised, and it's been a few weeks now, so I figured he had gone the way of the dinosaur. (What? Did I make that expression up?) Well, he e-mailed me last night, so I just read it this morning. It's nice to hear back from him, and to hear some compliments and sweet nothings, I'll say that much. Otherwise I have to make some decision about how to proceed, but whatever, I'm not responding immediately so I can just enjoy this feeling for today, right?
Last night I Skyped with Britch for a very long time, and it did immense amounts of good for my mental health. She pointed out some very clear problems with how I'm handling this situation (or at least, pointed them out in a way that finally made sense to me) and was able to help me shape my thinking about how to proceed. I miss her constant counsel now that she's across the sea, but I do appreciate it greatly when we can find time to talk! Also, she's in love. Let's be happy for her!
Today is rainy and sleepy and boring at work, but I'm in a good mood and catching up on my personal correspondence. I may hit the gym tonight, though I'm not very motivated at the moment -- it feels like I've been here for SO LONG and it's not even noon.
Food, which is finally getting back on a healthy track, I hope. I've eaten sugar-free brown sugar and cinnamon oatmeal with berries and fat free half&half for dinner the past two nights in a row. Weird:
B - Special K Red Berries, coffee, milk - 4
L - turkey & swiss, yogurt with berries - 6
D - sun dried tomato & chicken brat, salad with feta (and new exciting TJ's salad dressing) - 6
S - orange if it's edible, string cheese - 2
Total - 18 (I'll add some somewhere.)
Weight - 140 lbs. Gotta work on those last few pounds, though I feel good right now so I'm not stressing too much.
The weekend was amazing! I should have pictures uploaded to show you tomorrow, but until then, I'll give you the verbal (textual?) recap. I took the Jitney on Friday at 5:30, and it was so easy compared to taking those stupid Bolt buses or whatever. Also, you get a snack and a drink! And you pay with a credit card once you're on board (though you reserve your spot online ahead of time.) So the ride was smooth and fine, and we got to Montauk at about 8:30. It was dark and cool and damply breezy in a good way, since I had to wander awhile before I found my motel. (Once I actually found it, I felt like a dunce as it was very easy nearby, but their street signs are hard to spot as they're vertical posts in the ground, and so my map wasn't helping since I didn't know what street I was on.) I checked in and the nice desk clerk went over the town map with me, circling places he recommended for eating, hanging out, hiking, etc. Then I settled into my beachy motel room, took a long, Aveda-accessorized shower, and watched some Food Network before bed.
Saturday I woke up slowly, then walked the two short block's to Anthony's Pancake House. This diner was across the street from John's Pancake House, and there is a big rivalry, but my trusty desk clerk had said he preferred Anthony's, so I stayed on that team. I had a tomato, onion and feta omelette and lots of coffee, read my New York Magazine, and then headed back to the room to sunscreen up before heading out to find the trail head and hike Shadmoor State Park for awhile. I saw lots of pretty butterflies and wandered on sandy trails in the brush, and little wooden bridges over streams, and then finally along the bluffs that overlooked the Atlantic Ocean as well as Ditch Plains beach, which is the main surfing beach in Montauk, though the waves weren't really tubular when I was observing. Then I walked back through town to explore a bit more, and since it was the Montauk Music Festival weekend, there were bands playing in the town center's open space as well as in all of the bars and restaurants. I wasn't actually hungry for lunch, so I meandered back to the motel, poking around in shops and in a little boutique on my way, where I tried on pretty summer dresses. And some kids opened the dressing room curtain wide to show me to the store. So back to the room for more sunscreen and to hop into my swimsuit, then I hit the beach (which was across the street from my motel) for some sunning and reading time. At about 3, after many hours outdoors, I was sunned out, so I headed back to my room to write in my journal and then take a lovely nap.
I woke up groggy around 6, then got myself cleaned up and went to Shagwong for dinner (as I'd checked out menus earlier on my walk.) I ordered steamed mussels in white wine and a small house salad, plus two glasses of wine, and it was delicious and there was a nice mellow band playing to help set the mood. After eating, I went next door to The Gig Shack for a "classic rock" band and a beer. I sort of talked to a few people in my age range, but there were not many around (maybe four, total) and so I got bored after one beer, which was fine. (Oh, and I'd been keeping up a texting conversation with the Drummer since Friday afternoon...but that seemed to finally dwindle on Saturday night.) I sleepily walked back to my room and tucked myself in early for some Saturday Night Live and sleep.
Sunday I woke up bright and early again (which is 9 am, for me) and headed back to Anthony's, thinking I didn't want a big breakfast so that I could actually get lunch somewhere (which I wasn't hungry for on Saturday.) I ended up just getting two eggs, sausage and cinnamon toast, which of course lasted me all day anyway. Then I headed back to the beach with plans to stick it out for 3 hours, but only lasted nearly 2. It was pretty hot in the sun, and I'd try to give myself a whore's bath in the ocean to cool off, but the ocean water was painfully cold, so I finally decided my little skin had enough sun and went back to the room to shower, pack up, and then relax for awhile before I caught the 3:15 bus back.
All in all, I got through some of my foggy thinking about my current Mex situation, and came to some helpful conclusions. Of course, there was some drama yesterday (hence no post) when I got back so it all immediately blew up in my face, but I think I've regained that peace today. I'm trying to, at least.
In other news, remember that guy with the girlfriend with whom I made out? (You try to not end that sentence in a preposition!) I did e-mail him the following Wednesday, like I'd promised, and it's been a few weeks now, so I figured he had gone the way of the dinosaur. (What? Did I make that expression up?) Well, he e-mailed me last night, so I just read it this morning. It's nice to hear back from him, and to hear some compliments and sweet nothings, I'll say that much. Otherwise I have to make some decision about how to proceed, but whatever, I'm not responding immediately so I can just enjoy this feeling for today, right?
Last night I Skyped with Britch for a very long time, and it did immense amounts of good for my mental health. She pointed out some very clear problems with how I'm handling this situation (or at least, pointed them out in a way that finally made sense to me) and was able to help me shape my thinking about how to proceed. I miss her constant counsel now that she's across the sea, but I do appreciate it greatly when we can find time to talk! Also, she's in love. Let's be happy for her!
Today is rainy and sleepy and boring at work, but I'm in a good mood and catching up on my personal correspondence. I may hit the gym tonight, though I'm not very motivated at the moment -- it feels like I've been here for SO LONG and it's not even noon.
Food, which is finally getting back on a healthy track, I hope. I've eaten sugar-free brown sugar and cinnamon oatmeal with berries and fat free half&half for dinner the past two nights in a row. Weird:
B - Special K Red Berries, coffee, milk - 4
L - turkey & swiss, yogurt with berries - 6
D - sun dried tomato & chicken brat, salad with feta (and new exciting TJ's salad dressing) - 6
S - orange if it's edible, string cheese - 2
Total - 18 (I'll add some somewhere.)
Weight - 140 lbs. Gotta work on those last few pounds, though I feel good right now so I'm not stressing too much.
Thursday, May 6, 2010
Two-fer-Thursday and What I Ate
Sadly I had so much work to do again yesterday that I didn't get to post, so this is a BOGO for you. Work's going very well, though, and I've been told I'm getting promoted in the near future. I believe some of the exact words were "We want to keep you here and keep you happy, so we'll do what it takes." Yay, one aspect of my life is actually improving!
Otherwise yesterday was pretty uneventful. Oh, let's go back earlier. I didn't have to pitch at my softball game on Tuesday because they had another girl ringer who pitches in another league already and is awesome, so thankfully I was back on 2nd base, where I feel at home. (Oh, and the rain cleared up by 7 pm.) It was actually a lot of fun and good to see the guys again, so I'm now back on the horse and looking forward to games. OH RIGHT, and we won. And we have new matchy team t-shirts! But then I got home too late for Lost and I STILL haven't watched it online. Maybe tonight! I am in suspense!
Then yesterday was, like I said, busy at work then mellow at home. I was supposed to be there at 6 pm to let in some architect permit guy for my landlord, but I waited until 6:45 and texted the landlord to ask what was the deal, and he said "Oh, they don't need to get in. I just found out." Yeah right. But I guess it was nice to have a couch night and catch up on DVR. Glee! Chopped! Oh, then I talked to Mex again, because the Tuesday night convo was frustrating (he's "tired all the time" and sometimes talking is like pulling teeth and then I get angry because why the eff am I dealing with this again?) but so he wanted to think about some of what I'd said and talk last night. So it was better, and now we're going to talk less again, especially since there is apparently a heartbeat and a real baby (I still find this so hard to believe with all the reasons there wouldn't be, but...) and I only get upset when I talk to him and think about it, so I'd rather escape, thanks.
Oh, I also e-mailed the make-out boy from last weekend, yesterday afternoon. It's very fun to feel that old familiar excitement, wondering if he'll respond, does he like me, blah blah blah. Don't worry, I'm not too invested in this, but it's just a good distraction. It's like training wheels a bit, in a safe zone. Oh, and I clearly know it's not the best situation, but I'm just seeing if he'll respond to my e-mail right now. Calm down, people.
So tonight I may Skype with Britch if her gd internet gets fixed, and I'm considering walking home though it might be indecent with my short dress, so maybe I'll hit the gym. I also need a manicure and pedicure BAD, so maybe tonight or tomorrow I'll do that if no plans materialize. Oh shoot, and I have overdue library books.
Food mood:
B - Honey B's, milk, coffee - 4
L - sandwich, yogurt with strawberries - 6
D - TJ's Sun-Dried Tomato Chicken Sausage, salad - 6
S - orange, soup?, string cheese - 4
Total - 20
Weight, Tuesday morning - 139 lbs. (The scale moved depending on which way I shifted my feet, so I'm going with the medium answer -- 130s BABY!)
Otherwise yesterday was pretty uneventful. Oh, let's go back earlier. I didn't have to pitch at my softball game on Tuesday because they had another girl ringer who pitches in another league already and is awesome, so thankfully I was back on 2nd base, where I feel at home. (Oh, and the rain cleared up by 7 pm.) It was actually a lot of fun and good to see the guys again, so I'm now back on the horse and looking forward to games. OH RIGHT, and we won. And we have new matchy team t-shirts! But then I got home too late for Lost and I STILL haven't watched it online. Maybe tonight! I am in suspense!
Then yesterday was, like I said, busy at work then mellow at home. I was supposed to be there at 6 pm to let in some architect permit guy for my landlord, but I waited until 6:45 and texted the landlord to ask what was the deal, and he said "Oh, they don't need to get in. I just found out." Yeah right. But I guess it was nice to have a couch night and catch up on DVR. Glee! Chopped! Oh, then I talked to Mex again, because the Tuesday night convo was frustrating (he's "tired all the time" and sometimes talking is like pulling teeth and then I get angry because why the eff am I dealing with this again?) but so he wanted to think about some of what I'd said and talk last night. So it was better, and now we're going to talk less again, especially since there is apparently a heartbeat and a real baby (I still find this so hard to believe with all the reasons there wouldn't be, but...) and I only get upset when I talk to him and think about it, so I'd rather escape, thanks.
Oh, I also e-mailed the make-out boy from last weekend, yesterday afternoon. It's very fun to feel that old familiar excitement, wondering if he'll respond, does he like me, blah blah blah. Don't worry, I'm not too invested in this, but it's just a good distraction. It's like training wheels a bit, in a safe zone. Oh, and I clearly know it's not the best situation, but I'm just seeing if he'll respond to my e-mail right now. Calm down, people.
So tonight I may Skype with Britch if her gd internet gets fixed, and I'm considering walking home though it might be indecent with my short dress, so maybe I'll hit the gym. I also need a manicure and pedicure BAD, so maybe tonight or tomorrow I'll do that if no plans materialize. Oh shoot, and I have overdue library books.
Food mood:
B - Honey B's, milk, coffee - 4
L - sandwich, yogurt with strawberries - 6
D - TJ's Sun-Dried Tomato Chicken Sausage, salad - 6
S - orange, soup?, string cheese - 4
Total - 20
Weight, Tuesday morning - 139 lbs. (The scale moved depending on which way I shifted my feet, so I'm going with the medium answer -- 130s BABY!)
Thursday, April 29, 2010
Meatballz, Take 3 and What I Ate
Well, tonight is the third attempt for a Muncher Meatball fest. The first time we tried to go, the wait was too long. The second time, we had a cancellation of one of our members, so let's hope in the name of ALL THAT IS HOLY that the third time will be the charm. It's a beautiful day, and I need nothing more than to get silly and stuff my face with friends, so hopefully I'm not jinxing it!
Yeah, last night I got the news from Mex that they found a heartbeat, though the doc wasn't there, just the lab tech. So I'm stepping away from that whole situation. It's clear to me that something's really fishy, and I'm pretty sure he's getting trapped, but it's up to him to extricate himself. I'm going to look forward to a fun summer and better KISSING BOY stories for you, dear readers.
I did hear back from that old lover, and sadly, he's not available to rebound me right now, as he's got himself a ladyfriend. The e-mail was very flattering, however, so it was the nicest "rejection" I've ever gotten. I'll have to think of another trip to take to clear my head, though it may have less reunion lovin'. That's OK, too.
So I have no work to do at the moment, so I think it's freelance time. I'm also listening to Glee songs on YouTube over and over, so that's a recipe for a good mood! (And gayness.)
Try it. You'll like it.
Ok, food plan, as pointless as it is today:
B - Honey B's, milk, coffee, string cheese - 5
L - sammy, yogurt, peaches - 6
D - BALLZ and ice cream sandwich deliciousness
S - hopes and dreams
Activity - body-checking other restaurant patrons out of the way to get myself a table
Yeah, last night I got the news from Mex that they found a heartbeat, though the doc wasn't there, just the lab tech. So I'm stepping away from that whole situation. It's clear to me that something's really fishy, and I'm pretty sure he's getting trapped, but it's up to him to extricate himself. I'm going to look forward to a fun summer and better KISSING BOY stories for you, dear readers.
I did hear back from that old lover, and sadly, he's not available to rebound me right now, as he's got himself a ladyfriend. The e-mail was very flattering, however, so it was the nicest "rejection" I've ever gotten. I'll have to think of another trip to take to clear my head, though it may have less reunion lovin'. That's OK, too.
So I have no work to do at the moment, so I think it's freelance time. I'm also listening to Glee songs on YouTube over and over, so that's a recipe for a good mood! (And gayness.)
Try it. You'll like it.
Ok, food plan, as pointless as it is today:
B - Honey B's, milk, coffee, string cheese - 5
L - sammy, yogurt, peaches - 6
D - BALLZ and ice cream sandwich deliciousness
S - hopes and dreams
Activity - body-checking other restaurant patrons out of the way to get myself a table
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
Please, Stop the Music and What I Ate
I am near the breaking point today with all sorts of drama that I didn't cause, so excuse my very short and boring post. Basically the "other woman" found me on Facebook and sent me an apology e-mail this morning with her side of the story, and some things were enlightening. When confronted, Mex said he should've told me all of it but thought he told me the important stuff. I said lots of things I should've said earlier, as I'm showing him more of my anger. (Like, "You're disgusting.) So we're going to talk tonight to see if there's actually a baby (which I doubt), and we'll see how that goes. Then I need to step away.
So yeah! Great day! At least work has been nice because I've had to run random errands which get me out of the office and make the time go faster. And now I don't have any projects so I'm going to work on my freelance stuff a bit, so yay, double cash.
I also learned that the kickball and dodgeball league I used to play for in Manhattan now has a Queens kickball offshoot, and they play on a field very near to my apartment. I think I'll sign up for this summer, as it should be a good outdoor activity and a great way to meet new people (read: boys.)
I e-mailed the long-lost lover last night about a possible Florida rendezvous, so I will keep you posted if he responds. I know he's not on Facebook very often, but hopefully he'll still get the memo, as it were.
So tonight I think instead of Shredding, I'm going to Skype with Britch. I think my mental health should take some priority over my rocking body today. I already felt a lot better after talking to her last night, in part due to her medical expertise that supports my made-up beliefs, and also just because she makes me feel less crazy.
Anyway, food today:
B - honey bunches, coffee, milk - 4
L - sammy, yogurt with peach slices - 6
D - ww pasta with sauce, salad - 6-8?
S - orange, soup - 2
Total - 18-20 (I may add an after-work string cheese if needed.)
Activity - mental breakdown
So yeah! Great day! At least work has been nice because I've had to run random errands which get me out of the office and make the time go faster. And now I don't have any projects so I'm going to work on my freelance stuff a bit, so yay, double cash.
I also learned that the kickball and dodgeball league I used to play for in Manhattan now has a Queens kickball offshoot, and they play on a field very near to my apartment. I think I'll sign up for this summer, as it should be a good outdoor activity and a great way to meet new people (read: boys.)
I e-mailed the long-lost lover last night about a possible Florida rendezvous, so I will keep you posted if he responds. I know he's not on Facebook very often, but hopefully he'll still get the memo, as it were.
So tonight I think instead of Shredding, I'm going to Skype with Britch. I think my mental health should take some priority over my rocking body today. I already felt a lot better after talking to her last night, in part due to her medical expertise that supports my made-up beliefs, and also just because she makes me feel less crazy.
Anyway, food today:
B - honey bunches, coffee, milk - 4
L - sammy, yogurt with peach slices - 6
D - ww pasta with sauce, salad - 6-8?
S - orange, soup - 2
Total - 18-20 (I may add an after-work string cheese if needed.)
Activity - mental breakdown
Monday, April 26, 2010
Keep On Keepin' On and What I Ate
Rain remix! I actually didn't mind a rainy Sunday, and don't hate a rainy Monday, either. It fits the mood and enables me to further curl up into myself, you know? We had a lovely Saturday here, though, so don't worry, I did get out in the sun. My back is still burned!
From the top: Friday I just went home, happy that I had some beers and good company the night before, so I kept it low-key. I caught up on DVR, I ordered very healthy Chinese food (I am an ascetic now, apparently) -- steamed shrimp dumplings and sauteed vegetables with brown rice. I ate half of each, saving the other half for later in the weekend. Then I took a long bath and started reading The Help by Kathryn Stockett, which everyone in the world is also apparently reading. Based on the premise, I thought it might be a little hokey for me, but I really got into it. It has three different narrators, and I liked one of them especially (Skeeter, if you've read it), but all were enjoyable. It also helped to read so much at once, as I ended up burning through about 200 pages on Friday tucked up in bed after my bath. Finally bed, without the aid of a sleeping pill.
Saturday I woke too early for my taste, but watched some TV and made Low-Fat Nutrigrain Eggos and bummed around, then went to the Socrates Sculpture Park in Astoria with Mex. We sat on a beachtowel, ate a very basic picnic, tried to read but mostly got distracted by all the playing puppies. I also sunned myself while he tried to keep his half of the towel in the shade. Don't worry, we didn't touch or anything. But for real, I've seen him once a week now since the nuclear bomb, and it's what I want to do. I miss his companionship and it's nice to be able to talk about what I'm feeling with someone who understands more than anyone else, even if he caused it. This may all go away after Wednesday, aka No-Baby Day (Cross Your Fingers), but I'm taking each third of my waking hours as they come. Anyway, after the park I went back home to shower and get ready to meet up with Scmillie and her lady for Hot Tub Time Machine. Obviously it's a screwball comedy, but I'd heard it was hilarious and it seemed like just the right tone for the weekend. Sadly, I found it really uneven -- parts were very funny but then other parts were kind of boring. Oh well, it was a good distraction and it was nice to get out and hang with friends! After the movie, Ax met us up and we ate at Republic. Then it was back to Astoria around 10:30 pm, and Ax and I debated getting a beer before recognizing that we were both very tired and should do it another time. So I climbed back in my cozy bed and finished The Help by about 1:30 am. Oh, I'd found out my softball scrimmage in the morning (which was originally why we picked such sedate evening plans) had been cancelled due to forecasted rain. So I stayed up late.
Sunday I slept "in" till nearly 10:00 (I've lost this power, apparently), then lazed around in the gloomy day, watching my Netflix movies and being sad for awhile. It didn't help that the movies were so boring -- Snow Falling on Cedars was too arty and pretty and there was not enough dialogue, and The Other Boleyn Girl was also boring and better covered in The Tudors, plus there was an incest scene that freaked me out. Fail. Anyway, then Britch stood me up for our afternoon Skype date, then I went grocery shopping (to a store near me that I don't frequent as often, though apparently I should, as it was full of cute hipster boys!) Then I cleaned my room and talked to my mom, which actually cheered me up considerably (and I was surprised at that.) She relayed a story about a gnome that I will tell you at a later date, too. Then I settled in to watch Mystic Pizza on TV while also starting a new historical novel (which will be a guilty pleasure, I can tell) and have a quick phone chat with Mex.
It was a good weekend, well-rounded and well-behaved. The pounds are coming off quite quickly recently with my monkish lifestyle, though I'm sure I'll go up and down a bit depending on my social activities. Still, I should be nearing the 130s now, just in time for swimsuit wearing.
Today is another sleepy one, but tomorrow night is our first real softball game of the season and I'm excited and nervous. I should try to make it to the gym when I get home tonight, though we shall see how my motivation holds up. Mex is also going to give me the nine beers that have been sitting in his fridge for a week (as he's stopped drinking, and hopefully it sticks), so they don't go to waste, and I think that handoff is tonight. Not that I'll be crushing the Buds, but we have to arrange the custody change. And I'm sort of alternately really optimistic and really angry about circumstances, but after Wednesday I'll at least have a better idea of what's to come. Then I can figure out what I'm going to do to move on.
Well FOOD:
B - Strawberry Yogurt O's, milk, coffee - 5
L - chicken & muenster sammy, yogurt with strawberries - 6
D - creamy artichoke lasagna, salad - 6
S - string cheese, soup, orange - 3
Total - 20
Friday, April 23, 2010
Fridaze and What I Ate
It's almost the weekend again! Oh, sometimes I get sad that I am "working for the weekend," like the song says. But it seems in order to enjoy one's life outside of work, one must sit at a desk. Unless one is following your dreams or some other hippy dippy unrealistic thing. (I'm very jealous, in that case.)
Last night I had lovely back patio drinks with Schmillie. (No, that's not a euphemism.) The pizza was free, the rain held off, and it didn't get crowded. It was good to get her perspective on many things (as usual), and then it was home for bedtime. I did talk to Mex, as I didn't have enough willpower to go all day without. Still, it was less communication than the day before, etc. While I know I need some space, I'm having a hard time taking it right now while I know he's still taking her calls. It's not fair. She gets attention because she's crazy and unsafe and knocked up, and I don't because I am relatively sane? (Though he says he mostly answers the phone and she rants for awhile and he tunes out and that's it. It's like he's trying to do penance, or do the right thing, by fulfilling his obligation to see her through this, but what's really happening is she's just walking all over him and growing more attached. Ridic.) So whatever, I am being rather impulsive with these things, but I'm making it through my days. There was more talk about her doc visit and how it may be a real baby, which made me nervous, so I did some internet research today to calm me down. Surprisingly, it worked. And if she is, life will go on.
I've still been taking one sleeping pill before bed to help me fall asleep and stay asleep, but this morning I woke up at 6 am and laid there for awhile, mind a-spinning. It's so irritating! Maybe this time I should blame the beer, though I wasn't drunk when I went to bed. It's just frustrating. I really want to get one of those sleep masks to block more sunlight, too. Maybe my local drug store will sell some? I don't need a fancy blingy one, for pete's sake. Or I could just tie a bandana around my face like I'm playing Pin the Tail on the Donkey while sleeping. But I may end up choking myself in the middle of the night.
Anyway, tonight's plan is very calm, which sounds lovely. I won't be walking home in this gorgeous weather, as apparently my Shredding with Jillian Michael's has given me the 2-day burn (and no, that's not something I was tested for at the doctor.) My thigh muscles are killing me and I am hobbling around like Estelle Getty.
I have to catch up on some DVR (Top Chef Masters, Project Runway Finale, Chopped) and I also have Snow Falling on Cedars and The Other Boleyn Girl home from Netflix. Both seem like moody period pieces, and I'm interested in SFoC because I read the book recently, so I'm curious how it comes across on film. AND Ethan Hawke is in it. Oh yeah.
Happy weekend!
Last night I had lovely back patio drinks with Schmillie. (No, that's not a euphemism.) The pizza was free, the rain held off, and it didn't get crowded. It was good to get her perspective on many things (as usual), and then it was home for bedtime. I did talk to Mex, as I didn't have enough willpower to go all day without. Still, it was less communication than the day before, etc. While I know I need some space, I'm having a hard time taking it right now while I know he's still taking her calls. It's not fair. She gets attention because she's crazy and unsafe and knocked up, and I don't because I am relatively sane? (Though he says he mostly answers the phone and she rants for awhile and he tunes out and that's it. It's like he's trying to do penance, or do the right thing, by fulfilling his obligation to see her through this, but what's really happening is she's just walking all over him and growing more attached. Ridic.) So whatever, I am being rather impulsive with these things, but I'm making it through my days. There was more talk about her doc visit and how it may be a real baby, which made me nervous, so I did some internet research today to calm me down. Surprisingly, it worked. And if she is, life will go on.
I've still been taking one sleeping pill before bed to help me fall asleep and stay asleep, but this morning I woke up at 6 am and laid there for awhile, mind a-spinning. It's so irritating! Maybe this time I should blame the beer, though I wasn't drunk when I went to bed. It's just frustrating. I really want to get one of those sleep masks to block more sunlight, too. Maybe my local drug store will sell some? I don't need a fancy blingy one, for pete's sake. Or I could just tie a bandana around my face like I'm playing Pin the Tail on the Donkey while sleeping. But I may end up choking myself in the middle of the night.
This one is terrible.
Anyway, tonight's plan is very calm, which sounds lovely. I won't be walking home in this gorgeous weather, as apparently my Shredding with Jillian Michael's has given me the 2-day burn (and no, that's not something I was tested for at the doctor.) My thigh muscles are killing me and I am hobbling around like Estelle Getty.
I have to catch up on some DVR (Top Chef Masters, Project Runway Finale, Chopped) and I also have Snow Falling on Cedars and The Other Boleyn Girl home from Netflix. Both seem like moody period pieces, and I'm interested in SFoC because I read the book recently, so I'm curious how it comes across on film. AND Ethan Hawke is in it. Oh yeah.
Hey, he kind of looks like that teen I kissed there! Nice. So it should be a good quiet evening at home. Tomorrow night I am finally going to see Hot Tub Time Machine with Schmillie and her lady, and possibly have an Ax reunion, too. Then supper afterwards, then earlyish to bed, as I have a softball scrimmage at 10:30 on Sunday morning. (This is lame and cruel, obviously. Who wants to get up at 9:00 on a Sunday?)
Well, food today wasn't quite spot on, but it's a Friday.
B - TJ's Strawberry Yogurt O's, coffee, less milk than usual - 3
L - Curried Chicken Salad wrap, Baked Lays - ?
D - Either Chicken Meatloaf and salad or something yummy delivered, like steamed shrimp dumplings - ?
S - cigarettes
Total - ? but could be worse
Happy weekend!
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
I'm Ba-aaaack
Hello again, hello. (Just called to say hello.)
Firstly, a brief explanation. I was blindsided last week by news that Mex had cheated on me. There was another person when we were breaking up, through the breakup period, then it lasted longer than it should when we were getting back together. And he saw her about a month ago to tell her he was done with her (why in person? why?) and they got drunk and she brought him upstairs again. I only found out because turns out she got ectopically pregnant and he, of course, had to face up to his actions and realize what he'd done. So here we are. It's extremely difficult and confusing and hurtful and I sort of want to become addicted to drugs to escape, and every day I feel different things. I'm still talking to him, partially to get information (I ask a lot of questions about what happened) and to make sure her non-baby goes away as it's supposed to. (There is a doctor's appointment today.) I am also having a hard time not talking to him, as I want to know why he did this and how he could. (In my head it's like he split into two different people--the one that made me very happy and then this evil maniac.) He's still working out why he did it, as he was in some serious denial/depravity, but he's seemingly hit rock bottom with his drinking and now says he's interested in getting some therapy help and making a change. That said, I'm not holding my breath. Also, I hate him a lot and can't imagine trusting him, but I also still love him some, too. That's what's so strange. But it's not as if I have to decide anything right now (as far as whether I am going to try to trust him) since he has lots of work to do on himself. I know he wants to get help and see if we can be together again in the future, but that's far off in my head, if it's even a possibility. I'm just trying to survive each day, as it's a crazy place in my head. Oh, and I got some tests run at the lady doc on Monday eve, so here's hoping he DOESN'T call me this week with any positive results. So that's the story. Sorry it's not so great.
Otherwise, I have wonderful friends who are keeping me social and letting me feel my feelings, and I even kissed a very hot 23-year-old (aka "a teen") last Saturday. It was nice, but it was also upsetting because I just don't think I'm supposed to be there again, yet here I am. Alas. I've lost weight, which is strange because though I wasn't eating at first, I have since made up for it (especially with a hangover Sunday menu of nachos AND sweet & sour chicken! Sick!) I am going to at least focus on my diet and exercise as some sort of distraction, and I'm taking non-medicated OTC sleeping pills at night so I can sleep through till morning, and I am (yes, I know) smoking like a chimney, but those last two will abate with time.
SO. Debbie Downer, eh? Well, last night I walked home from work with Schmauren, and it was lovely. Tonight I am going to watch DVR'd Glee (how can they pit it against Lost?) after I do some exercise, perhaps Jillian Michael's 30 Day Shred to mix it up. I'm also going to try not to crazily stare at my phone, waiting to hear that her doc appt. went as expected and now he's done speaking to her. But I might.
Food plan:
B - Special K, coffee, milk - 4
L - turkey & muenster sammy, yogurt with strawberries - 6
D - Creamy Artichoke Lasagne, salad - 6
S - orange, Ginger Carrot soup, string cheese - 3
Total - 19 (maybe I'll add Sugar Free Jello Pudding for dessert?)
Activity - bike at the gym or SHREDDING
Firstly, a brief explanation. I was blindsided last week by news that Mex had cheated on me. There was another person when we were breaking up, through the breakup period, then it lasted longer than it should when we were getting back together. And he saw her about a month ago to tell her he was done with her (why in person? why?) and they got drunk and she brought him upstairs again. I only found out because turns out she got ectopically pregnant and he, of course, had to face up to his actions and realize what he'd done. So here we are. It's extremely difficult and confusing and hurtful and I sort of want to become addicted to drugs to escape, and every day I feel different things. I'm still talking to him, partially to get information (I ask a lot of questions about what happened) and to make sure her non-baby goes away as it's supposed to. (There is a doctor's appointment today.) I am also having a hard time not talking to him, as I want to know why he did this and how he could. (In my head it's like he split into two different people--the one that made me very happy and then this evil maniac.) He's still working out why he did it, as he was in some serious denial/depravity, but he's seemingly hit rock bottom with his drinking and now says he's interested in getting some therapy help and making a change. That said, I'm not holding my breath. Also, I hate him a lot and can't imagine trusting him, but I also still love him some, too. That's what's so strange. But it's not as if I have to decide anything right now (as far as whether I am going to try to trust him) since he has lots of work to do on himself. I know he wants to get help and see if we can be together again in the future, but that's far off in my head, if it's even a possibility. I'm just trying to survive each day, as it's a crazy place in my head. Oh, and I got some tests run at the lady doc on Monday eve, so here's hoping he DOESN'T call me this week with any positive results. So that's the story. Sorry it's not so great.
Otherwise, I have wonderful friends who are keeping me social and letting me feel my feelings, and I even kissed a very hot 23-year-old (aka "a teen") last Saturday. It was nice, but it was also upsetting because I just don't think I'm supposed to be there again, yet here I am. Alas. I've lost weight, which is strange because though I wasn't eating at first, I have since made up for it (especially with a hangover Sunday menu of nachos AND sweet & sour chicken! Sick!) I am going to at least focus on my diet and exercise as some sort of distraction, and I'm taking non-medicated OTC sleeping pills at night so I can sleep through till morning, and I am (yes, I know) smoking like a chimney, but those last two will abate with time.
SO. Debbie Downer, eh? Well, last night I walked home from work with Schmauren, and it was lovely. Tonight I am going to watch DVR'd Glee (how can they pit it against Lost?) after I do some exercise, perhaps Jillian Michael's 30 Day Shred to mix it up. I'm also going to try not to crazily stare at my phone, waiting to hear that her doc appt. went as expected and now he's done speaking to her. But I might.
Food plan:
B - Special K, coffee, milk - 4
L - turkey & muenster sammy, yogurt with strawberries - 6
D - Creamy Artichoke Lasagne, salad - 6
S - orange, Ginger Carrot soup, string cheese - 3
Total - 19 (maybe I'll add Sugar Free Jello Pudding for dessert?)
Activity - bike at the gym or SHREDDING
Monday, April 12, 2010
Working for the Weekend and What I Ate
Hello lovers!
How hard is it to start working today? I haven't accomplished a single work-related thing all morning. But that's sort of great, because it's not like I have a ton to do today. Or at least nothing with a deadline.
My weekend was very fun, though I feel a bit guilty about not enjoying more of the beautiful daytime weather. That's what happens when you're a creature of the night, I suppose. Friday's Hennapalooza was very fun, and a bit crazier like the good ol' days. We hung out in the bathroom with shower caps on like we were in the 1950s, we made a beer run with the same shower caps on, and we gabbed and ate reasonable pizza. We took a risk on delivery since Schmillie wasn't aware of any great pizza parlors in her new neighborhood. (Yet. Yet.) Then I met Mex back in Astoria for some late-night pool, then home.
Saturday we slept in, then he left to get some work done and I returned to the nail parlor after a long absence after witnessing some scary violence last time. Thankfully, it's under new ownership, and it was a great experience. (I realize there are many nail salons to chose from, but this one is usually less crowded and pretty cheap for good quality -- $20 for a mani and pedi.) It's now run by a young Chinese woman who was very accommodating, and I even had a man do my pedicure and start my manicure before she jumped in. It was a bit weird at first to have a strange gentleman bowing over your feet, but he gave such a great foot massage that I quickly accustomed to it. And she massaged my shoulders while I was at the drying station, like the good places do. Sigh. Anyway, I went springy and got some hot pink toes AND fingers, then home to get ready for the evening. I met up with Mex and Schmauren at Gleason's in Astoria for a few beers before we headed into Manhattan to the Spring Street Lounge for Schmate's birthday party. I hadn't been to that bar in a few years, but used to really enjoy (as it was particularly male-heavy), and once the crowd thinned out a bit this time, I remembered why I liked it so much! I mean, in addition to the menfolk. The whole Muncher gang had a great silly time, and then Mex, Schmauren and I cabbed it back to Astoria for some nightcaps at Sweet Afton. It was a blast, and I felt like a kid again. I never go out in Manhattan anymore, but it's nice to get into the city and deal with the rabble every now and then.
Sunday was recovery and laziness in the form of Chicken Tikka Masala delivery, watching tv and two romantic comedies in a row. Did You Hear About the Morgans was amusing at points but also a bit frustrating (I have a hard time when asked to be sympathetic to adulterers, what can I say), then The Proposal was way better than I expected. I really enjoyed that one, and laughed loudly and weirdly at the naked-running-into-each-other scene. (Have you seen it? Spoiler, but something about how Ryan Reynolds keeps saying "I don't understand. Why are you wet?" just killed me.) Finally later in the night I cleaned up my room and filed my taxes, so I at least got something done with my day.
And this week should be a nice, springy one, with softball practice tomorrow (that might get rained out, not that I'm sort of crossing my fingers for that, ahem) and Harpie dinner on Thursday. I usually go from Sunday until Thursday without seeing Mex as it's our productive weekday habit, but I mentioned something yesterday about how Sundays are always sort of sad because in addition to being the end of the weekend, I know I won't see him for awhile (mush mush.) He suggested we get a quick bite on Tuesday. Cute.
Also, the publishing guy who hooks me up with most of my freelance projects has just asked me what my ultimate career goal is, as in, do I want to be an editor again for reals. He's probably just being curious, but my imagination immediately wondered if he's looking to hire an editor for his business start-up, etc. etc. It's obviously in fantasy land, but I wonder if I'd want to do that. I know I'm not that into joining corporate, commercial publishing again, but perhaps there's a way for me to do the work I enjoy while being a bit more independent. (Though I guess I'm doing that now, it's just not my day job.) Anyway, things to think about.
Food. (God, I haven't been good with diet & exercise lately, you guys. I don't know how much I weigh, and I think it's up again, but I feel pretty happy anyway so I don't care too much. Though I need to behave during these weeks so I can be flexible on the weekends! Time to crack down again!)
B - Special K, coffee, milk - 4
L - Swiss, cucumber, beet sandwich (clearly I need to go shopping), cottage cheese - 5
D - chicken meatloaf, salad with feta - 5.5
S - string cheese, orange, soup, granny bar - 5
Total - 19.5
Activity - walking home, whee!
How hard is it to start working today? I haven't accomplished a single work-related thing all morning. But that's sort of great, because it's not like I have a ton to do today. Or at least nothing with a deadline.
My weekend was very fun, though I feel a bit guilty about not enjoying more of the beautiful daytime weather. That's what happens when you're a creature of the night, I suppose. Friday's Hennapalooza was very fun, and a bit crazier like the good ol' days. We hung out in the bathroom with shower caps on like we were in the 1950s, we made a beer run with the same shower caps on, and we gabbed and ate reasonable pizza. We took a risk on delivery since Schmillie wasn't aware of any great pizza parlors in her new neighborhood. (Yet. Yet.) Then I met Mex back in Astoria for some late-night pool, then home.
Saturday we slept in, then he left to get some work done and I returned to the nail parlor after a long absence after witnessing some scary violence last time. Thankfully, it's under new ownership, and it was a great experience. (I realize there are many nail salons to chose from, but this one is usually less crowded and pretty cheap for good quality -- $20 for a mani and pedi.) It's now run by a young Chinese woman who was very accommodating, and I even had a man do my pedicure and start my manicure before she jumped in. It was a bit weird at first to have a strange gentleman bowing over your feet, but he gave such a great foot massage that I quickly accustomed to it. And she massaged my shoulders while I was at the drying station, like the good places do. Sigh. Anyway, I went springy and got some hot pink toes AND fingers, then home to get ready for the evening. I met up with Mex and Schmauren at Gleason's in Astoria for a few beers before we headed into Manhattan to the Spring Street Lounge for Schmate's birthday party. I hadn't been to that bar in a few years, but used to really enjoy (as it was particularly male-heavy), and once the crowd thinned out a bit this time, I remembered why I liked it so much! I mean, in addition to the menfolk. The whole Muncher gang had a great silly time, and then Mex, Schmauren and I cabbed it back to Astoria for some nightcaps at Sweet Afton. It was a blast, and I felt like a kid again. I never go out in Manhattan anymore, but it's nice to get into the city and deal with the rabble every now and then.
Sunday was recovery and laziness in the form of Chicken Tikka Masala delivery, watching tv and two romantic comedies in a row. Did You Hear About the Morgans was amusing at points but also a bit frustrating (I have a hard time when asked to be sympathetic to adulterers, what can I say), then The Proposal was way better than I expected. I really enjoyed that one, and laughed loudly and weirdly at the naked-running-into-each-other scene. (Have you seen it? Spoiler, but something about how Ryan Reynolds keeps saying "I don't understand. Why are you wet?" just killed me.) Finally later in the night I cleaned up my room and filed my taxes, so I at least got something done with my day.
And this week should be a nice, springy one, with softball practice tomorrow (that might get rained out, not that I'm sort of crossing my fingers for that, ahem) and Harpie dinner on Thursday. I usually go from Sunday until Thursday without seeing Mex as it's our productive weekday habit, but I mentioned something yesterday about how Sundays are always sort of sad because in addition to being the end of the weekend, I know I won't see him for awhile (mush mush.) He suggested we get a quick bite on Tuesday. Cute.
Also, the publishing guy who hooks me up with most of my freelance projects has just asked me what my ultimate career goal is, as in, do I want to be an editor again for reals. He's probably just being curious, but my imagination immediately wondered if he's looking to hire an editor for his business start-up, etc. etc. It's obviously in fantasy land, but I wonder if I'd want to do that. I know I'm not that into joining corporate, commercial publishing again, but perhaps there's a way for me to do the work I enjoy while being a bit more independent. (Though I guess I'm doing that now, it's just not my day job.) Anyway, things to think about.
Food. (God, I haven't been good with diet & exercise lately, you guys. I don't know how much I weigh, and I think it's up again, but I feel pretty happy anyway so I don't care too much. Though I need to behave during these weeks so I can be flexible on the weekends! Time to crack down again!)
B - Special K, coffee, milk - 4
L - Swiss, cucumber, beet sandwich (clearly I need to go shopping), cottage cheese - 5
D - chicken meatloaf, salad with feta - 5.5
S - string cheese, orange, soup, granny bar - 5
Total - 19.5
Activity - walking home, whee!
Friday, April 9, 2010
Homemade Smoke Monster and What I Ate
It's Friday night...and the mood is right. Gonna have some fun, show 'em how it's done, TGIF.
Oh, the memories. Today is sort of a gloomy, cooler Friday, but that gives me a big burst of energy, as too many sunny days in a row freak me out. We need some variety and mystery in the weather, right? Besides, I like spring, and I am not ready for summer.
Last night's dinner with Mex was delicious, if one could overlook the brouhaha I created by spilling the marinade off of the baking sheet onto the bottom of the oven, thus creating a smoke monster, thus setting off BOTH oversensitive fire detectors in our apartment. Mex manned one while I manned the other, fanning in front of it and pressing the button. Those sorts of loud, incessant noises make me violent, though, so there was a big come(calm)down after that...but the food tasted great. Then after dinner, Mex had more midterm grading to get done, so I let him escape to the bedroom to work while I cleaned up and scrubbed the bottom of the oven for about 40 minutes. I wore myself out and still didn't get all the baked-on grease off. We couldn't find any product that would make a dent in it until my roomie suggested vinegar and baking soda, and that got some of the job done. Man, I think the rest is permanent -- I don't know what else we can do. Is it sad that I'd never cleaned an oven like that before? I don't know if I've had to. And now I will be careful enough with pan juices to never have to again, damnit.
Oh, prior to dinner, I came home to an apartment without power because a manhole cover had exploded in the street in front of our place, right into my landlord's parked car (the underside, poor car), and ConEd were busy outside working. Thankfully we were operational by 7:00 pm, so my evening continued as planned, but man, good thing there was a car parked to absorb the shock! As opposed to a person, I mean.
But TONIGHT! Is another Henna Party with BSH. There will be henna, and yummy food of some sort (maybe pizza?), and some moderate wine and maybe beer, if needed. I will attempt to defy the smoking temptation, but we'll see. (I've been doing pretty well, it's just the drinking that's the trigger.) Then home for some more Mex time. Tomorrow I should practice some of my softball moves (I was instructed to "strengthen my legs" for pitching...yikes), and tomorrow night is Schmate's big birthday bash. It's shaping up to be a great weekend, and all I have to do is get through five more hours of work...well, including one lunch hour, during which I will watch Top Chef: Masters that I missed on Wednesday. That part's not so bad.
Foods of today:
B - string cheese, coffee, milk, honey o's - 5
L - sandwich, yogurt - 5/6
D - TBD
S - soup, granny bar, vino - 4
Total - probably way over 20, but we'll see
Activity - walking to Columbus Circle to meet BSH, recreating the Henna Murder Pose (below)
Oh, the memories. Today is sort of a gloomy, cooler Friday, but that gives me a big burst of energy, as too many sunny days in a row freak me out. We need some variety and mystery in the weather, right? Besides, I like spring, and I am not ready for summer.
Last night's dinner with Mex was delicious, if one could overlook the brouhaha I created by spilling the marinade off of the baking sheet onto the bottom of the oven, thus creating a smoke monster, thus setting off BOTH oversensitive fire detectors in our apartment. Mex manned one while I manned the other, fanning in front of it and pressing the button. Those sorts of loud, incessant noises make me violent, though, so there was a big come(calm)down after that...but the food tasted great. Then after dinner, Mex had more midterm grading to get done, so I let him escape to the bedroom to work while I cleaned up and scrubbed the bottom of the oven for about 40 minutes. I wore myself out and still didn't get all the baked-on grease off. We couldn't find any product that would make a dent in it until my roomie suggested vinegar and baking soda, and that got some of the job done. Man, I think the rest is permanent -- I don't know what else we can do. Is it sad that I'd never cleaned an oven like that before? I don't know if I've had to. And now I will be careful enough with pan juices to never have to again, damnit.
Oh, prior to dinner, I came home to an apartment without power because a manhole cover had exploded in the street in front of our place, right into my landlord's parked car (the underside, poor car), and ConEd were busy outside working. Thankfully we were operational by 7:00 pm, so my evening continued as planned, but man, good thing there was a car parked to absorb the shock! As opposed to a person, I mean.
But TONIGHT! Is another Henna Party with BSH. There will be henna, and yummy food of some sort (maybe pizza?), and some moderate wine and maybe beer, if needed. I will attempt to defy the smoking temptation, but we'll see. (I've been doing pretty well, it's just the drinking that's the trigger.) Then home for some more Mex time. Tomorrow I should practice some of my softball moves (I was instructed to "strengthen my legs" for pitching...yikes), and tomorrow night is Schmate's big birthday bash. It's shaping up to be a great weekend, and all I have to do is get through five more hours of work...well, including one lunch hour, during which I will watch Top Chef: Masters that I missed on Wednesday. That part's not so bad.
Foods of today:
B - string cheese, coffee, milk, honey o's - 5
L - sandwich, yogurt - 5/6
D - TBD
S - soup, granny bar, vino - 4
Total - probably way over 20, but we'll see
Activity - walking to Columbus Circle to meet BSH, recreating the Henna Murder Pose (below)
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