Friday, October 29, 2010

Happy Halloweener!

It's my tied-for-favorite holiday tomorrow, and I am so excited.  But oh Friday, won't you end?  I suppose I can live 40 more minutes, but I am sluggish.

Tonight Hike is taking me to dinner, Thai, in Astoria, at 8 pm.  I still don't know where, and I'm debating jeans with heels vs. dress with tights and heels.  Oh, dating.  But luckily he picked 8 pm, because that gives mama time to go home, shave, shower, blow dry hair, and then NAP.  My eyes are drooping as we speak, so I'm grateful for the extra time.

Tomorrow I'm most likely going to a swanky private party here with Schmillie.  I'm going to resurrect my Indian costume and she's going to be a lesbian cowboy.  The best part is that Schmate offered up her Murray Hill apartment to us as a place to get ready while consuming wine, and that means we don't have to schlep our stuff to one borough and then another.  So convenient and generous! 

That's my weekend, but it's going to be lots of fun.  I can't wait to get it started.  And then on Monday I'm getting my hair cut, which is always a relaxing experience.  Especially when it starts to feel like dead weight, as it does now.  Tuesday is dodgeball, and we'll see what the rest of the week has to offer.  On Saturday it's our second Beer and Food Pairing Party, this time with fall brews, and that's always a blast.  I am going to invite Hike to meet some of the friends, too...I hope he can make it.  I've never been so proud for someone to meet my friends before.  So many new things with him! 

That's about all.  Oh, I ate a giant quesadilla for lunch.  But I have to wait till 8 pm for dinner, so I figured I was allowed!  Maybe that's why I'm so sleepy, though.  Stupid cheese that I love.

Thursday, October 28, 2010

I Just Threw Up In My Mouth a Little

Holy cannoli, folks.  I weighed myself this morning because I could spare the time and because I keep tabs on how far things have (or have not) gotten out of hand, and I weighed 136 lbs!  My lowest ever weight was 134 (on my cheapo scale, which is the Bible here.)  I am so pleasantly surprised, considering I haven't changed much in the way of diet lately, I've only increased my activity level by a few long walks last week, and I'm eating leftover "weekend food" for dinner three nights this week.  But it's motivating me to be even healthier, since I'm so close to lowest, and then maybe to goal!  (Not that I'm as goal-focused as I used to be.  I'm happy-focused.) 

I just looked back at my first weight-related post on this blog, and I weighed 150 pounds at the end of last year.  I can't believe that I let myself get back up that high--I've already forgotten about that.  But that also means that while this year has been more about keeping the weight off that I'd lost previously, I've managed to progress.  In fact, I'd venture to say I've improved in all three main categories of this blog.  I'm feeling really content lately.  Or I should say today, since you know how mood-swingy I can be.

Obviously we're not done, as we're never done, and I'm still really terrible at discipline with the smoking.  Any sign of stress and I'm back on the sticks.  I really think I need to put in more mental effort before picking a random day to quit, so I'm formulating a plan and consulting some resources.  More on this soon, I hope.

That said, I have cut back on my drinking--or drinking to the point where I make unwise decisions and/or feel like I want to die the next day.  I can tell a difference in my general outlook, and it's really positive.  My skin is better thanks to Proactiv.  I usually feel pretty or at least cute.  My body isn't the worst, and my legs are ROCKING.  I have fantastic friends who do fun activities with me and who probably saved me this summer, and I'm very thankful for my life right now.

So, smoking, diet, mental health are the orders of the day.  And by mental health, I include trying to BE COOL about the Hike thing, and any other dating situations that may arise. 

Food today has been healthy -- the Curried Zucchini Soup with almonds for lunch, yogurt with pear slices soon, and tonight will be my last serving of Sweet & Sour Chicken from Sunday's order.  After work I'm going to walk to return a book to the library and then either Skype with Britch or call my mama.  And then max out and relax.  Tomorrow's supposed to be back to fall weather, which means it'll be more fun to dress for my date.  I wonder where we'll go?  I feel more excited because it is a Friday night -- is that weird?  Oh, clearly I'm obsessed. 

Man, this whole post was very high in sugar.  I'm sorry, readers, but I guess this is better than how I was last summer, right?  You know what I did last summer.

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Happy humping, folks.  How's the week going?  I had a fantastic time at last night's Sound of Music sing along.  Turns out it was not quite as I expected -- there were no drag queens, no costumes, and no rowdy groups.  Instead there were some old couples and lots of women our age, as well as some random thugs, which was sort of charming.  Everyone was very hesitant about the singing in the beginning, but soon we all warmed up and began to belt it.  It helped that we also started heckling, like hissing when the Baroness came on the screen, and booing the Nazis.  Soon we were like one big family, we the audience, and I sort of wish all movies were like that.  It was so interactive.  It also helped that Schmillie and I killed a bottle of wine before the "insert 2nd tape" part of the movie.

It was also just amazing to see it on the screen, fully restored.  I really enjoyed the details in the scenery and the costumes that I'd never been able to see, as well as the subtle facial expressions, and laughing at Schmillie's creepy childhood crush Kurt, and my obviously gay childhood crush Friedrich.  So after a shaky start, I'd say the sing along was a success.

Food today is usual, except I skipped the cereal as I wasn't hungry for it, though now, an hour after soup, I'm starving, so I think I'll eat some now.  It's OK to rearrange!  Oh, and I have been eating pretty heavy foods for dinners since I had so much leftover from the weekend, so it'll be Sweet & Sour Chicken for dinner tonight, but at least I'm practicing portion control.  It would be good to get some exercise, but I'm so tired today after many late nights in a row that I don't think it'll happen tonight.  I have DVR to catch up on after I get the veggies, anyway.  Oh, but we're signing up for a winter share with our CSA, which they'd never offered before.  It looks exciting -- we'll get produce, "value-added items"??, dairy (cheese, yogurt, eggs, butter, milk) and occasionally ground beef and/or chicken.  And it's a monthly pickup, which makes it easier schedule-wise (though maybe not bag-carrying-wise.)  I'm looking forward to local cheese THE MOSTEST.

Happy rainy, crappy Wednesday, friends.  Hope you get to be lazy, too.

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Your Life, Little Girl, Is an Empty Page That Men Will Want to Write On

So in less than an hour and a half, I will be participating in the Sound of Music sing-along screening, and I CAN'T WAIT.  I'm super sleepy and loopy today, because I had a nightmare (about stupid work) that woke me up at 5 am, and I couldn't fall back asleep and was crying from dream thrall, and then I was hungry so I ate leftover crab rangoon, and then I finally drifted away again at 6:30 or so.  It was an exciting morning.  But I'm absolutely going to be in fighting shape for singing, and I think the bottle of wine Schmillie and I are smuggling into the theater will help.

Work went quickly, however, and no one made me cry in real life (which always makes for a good day), and now I'm eating yogurt to try and get food in my tummy before wine and Maria problem-solving. 

Harpie dinner was fantastic last night, as we checked out one Harpie's new apartment in Williamsburg and he also made us delicious pumpkin lasagne.  I think we were more sedate and adult than usual, but it was very nice to see everyone and catch up.  And I had a really quick and cheap ($13) cab ride home, which was much better than an hour-long train ride.  Yes, NYC, people want to travel between Brooklyn and Queens.  Crazy, I know.

Hike texted me yesterday afternoon and we chatted all evening (with spaced-out messages) and today. Anyway, I think we're running out of things to text about I'll tell him to have a nice dinner at Rosa Mexicana and leave it.  But I still get smiley every time my phone beeps.

AND I'M OFF.  To Austria.  Later, my favorite things!

Edelweiss - Sound of Music - Christopher Plummer's own voice from Mark on Vimeo.

Monday, October 25, 2010


Oh, and I forgot to tell you that Sleeve texted me last night, after two weeks of silence.  He said "What up stranger??"  I ignored it.  If he texts again to call me out for the ignoring (as he has before), I'll say something about how I don't want to start this up again.  Such a weirdo.

Also, my boss complimented me today.  He came by and said "By the way, have you lost a lot of weight?  You look great!"  I said thanks and quickly moved on, but it felt uncomfortable.  Especially after the appraising eyes he's been giving me.  I tell you, something about a pencil skirt with a belt really does it for the menfolk.  And ew.

Love Handles for All

Happy sad Monday!  I am really loving the weather today, and I had a great weekend, so once again I'm in a good mood.  Now if I could just make myself do some work.

Let's recap!  Friday I had a friend date with Schmillie to see The Social Network, then we had dinner after the movie at Republic and then got 16 (Love) Handles frozen yogurt, and I tried PUMPKIN. It was good, but I think pumpkin-flavored dairy needs to be full-fat, as it got a little chemically after a few bites. Saturday I made a Curry Zucchini Soup, then got my nails did, then napped, then met Schmess and her bf and Schmess' visiting friend for dinner at Il Bambino in Astoria (along with two bottles of wine) and then beer at Sweet Afton, where our friend the Marine from d-ball met up, too. Hike was possibly going to be in Astoria that night but ended up going out in the city with his bro and friends, so I didn't see him but we texted all night and said flirty things, etc. Sunday I nursed my hangover for awhile, skyped with Britch, then Hike picked me up at 4 to see The Town. We had discussed going to see Paranormal Activity 2 and I was saying I'll be terrified but I'd try it, and then on Sunday I was like "Um, is there anything else you might want to see, perhaps?" and he did want to see The Town so he gallantly did not force me to be traumatized by PA2. So The Town. I think I was a little disappointed (did I become a movie jerk recently? Maybe.) because it moved slowly at parts, but you know how I LOVE terrible (read: awesome) Boston accents and Ben Affleck in track suits, and I got plenty of that. There was also a preview for another Boston blue-collar Ben movie with COSTNER that I am excited about. So movie date then dinner after at 5 Napkin Burger (yum), and then home to hang out/watch Fox cartoons/make out a lot. It was a good date.

NO, I'M NOT GETTING CARRIED AWAY. But I'm enjoying it. And trying desperately not to get crazy or worried, to various degrees of success.
As far as Rockabilly goes, I forgot to tell you last week that there was never any communication so the "date night" passed by silently, and I'm good with that.  After Hike said he wasn't signing onto OKCupid, he asked me, and I said it'd been about a week...and that was as far as we took that conversation, but I want to see what happens with him without further hedging my bets.  At least right now.
Tonight is Harpie dinner at someone's new place in Williamsburg, and I'm looking forward to seeing everyone and the new apartment!  Our theme is "spooky" and I'm making zucchini latkes that I will call mashed brains and/or guts.  Then tomorrow is SING-ALONG SOUND OF MUSIC, which is going to be amazing.  (Yes, I'm blowing off dodgeball.  Tough luck, suckers.)
Oh, and food this weekend was mostly a disaster, though I still feel skinny today.  Weird!  I did walk home from work on Thursday, and I'm sure that shaved POUNDS off.  Friday we ate good noodles (I had Pad Thai), Saturday I had crostinis for dinner, and Sunday I ordered crab rangoon in the morning and then had half a burger and Parmesan herb fries at dinner.  Alas.  My goal for tonight is to not feel sick to my stomach after dinner -- here's hoping!
KFC you later, lovers.

Thursday, October 21, 2010



I had a nice outdoor (slightly chilly) last-minute lunch date with Schmillie today, and I'm considering walking home from work (I know, I'm sort of amazed myself since I haven't moved this body in AGES), and I'm loving my iPod again after some time apart, and things are good.

Oh, and today Schmillie and I bought tickets to THIS.  I CAN'T WAIT.

Food today: The usual, except for eating some croutons from Schmillie's salad.  Oh, and my afternoon snack was Craisinets, but they're only 100 calories and 4 grams of fat.
Stomach today:  Being a bitch again.  I don't want to have to go back to the doctor and swallow a CAMERA like a Magic School Bus book!  No!

It's almost Friday, lovers.

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

If You Believe in Fairies, Then Clap Your Hands

Good morning!  Happy humper day.  I'm in good spirits -- it's a nice, cloudy Fall day, work is going slowly but surely, and I think I'll be able to have a night to myself tonight.  I haven't heard any more from Rockabilly, so I think the date (that was scheduled for tonight) is not happening.  I feel pretty relieved.  My new plan is to hit Rite Aid on the way home for some supplies (I love buying drugstore items), then home to get the hippie re-usable grocery bags, then off to pick up the week's veggie share.  Then it's time to FINALLY watch Sunday's Mad Men!  Though certain things have been spoiled for me by the internets, I still don't know exactly what happens, and I'm pumped.

Things are going well with Hike, and we've been texting.  I'm entering a familiar emotional worrying cycle now, actually.  It has three points, all along a circle:
1.  Get giddy and excited and all day-dreamy about Object Of Affection.
2.  Get concerned that I'm wearing rose-colored glasses and OOA will most likely prove disappointing, probably by disappearing or betraying me.
3.  Realize I'm over analyzing the situation and try to relax and enjoy the ride (literally or not).  Then back to Step 1 and repeat.

Ok, the points are labeled wrong on there and not even legible, but you get what I'm saying.  Am I ever going to outgrow this?  Am I ever going to be able to control my BRAIN?

So dodgeball was frustrating, as usual, with stupid people complaining about the game and other stupid people not following the rules (there is a LINE for a reason--stop hogging all the playing time, dick), but then we went to the bar afterwards for three beers (the third is free) and it was fun to hang out with Schmess, her bf, and the other cute boy on our team.  (The engaged guy wasn't there, which was fine.)  I've always had a small crush on the other cute boy (let's call him Marine), but we have a definite "buddy" relationship.  Then last night Schmess told me she thinks he likes me.  We polled her bf, though, who didn't agree, so that made things less complicated.  Marine wants to hang out with us this weekend, like the group, and I was worried that meant I shouldn't invite Hike, but we determined that it's Marine's responsibility to make some overture to me if he does indeed like me, and otherwise I'm perfectly free to be dating other boys.  So there.

WOW I need to find something else to talk about besides boys.  Is it grating?  Or is this why you love me?

Food today:
B - coffee, honey b's, milk
L - soup probably
D - bbq pulled chicken, english muffin, veg of some sort
S - yogurt or cottage cheese, decaf coffee, Jello-O Mousse Temptations (which are orgasmic)
Exercise - Walking around for errands.  Shut up.

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

His Eye is on the Spaaaaaa-rooooow

Ho hum, it's a mellow Tuesday afternoon.  Not much to report, but now that I'm Sister Act 2: Back in the Habit of blogging, I wanted to get my daily fix.

In other news, I am quitting smoking, though I don't feel like my motivation is exactly where it should be.  I bummed one cig today, but otherwise it's nic gum for me.  I know intellectually I don't want to smoke, but it just seems like I can (always) wait a little longer to stop.  And it's not even that great, it's just a cruel mistress, that nicotine. 

I'm supposed to have a date with Rockabilly tomorrow after work, but so far I haven't heard from him about specific plans.  I wonder if it'll just go away?  I wouldn't be upset if it did, and I'm waiting to let him make the overture.  It's strange since we only talked for about 10 minutes when we met, and we've had some text conversations, but that's it.  I'm the opposite of invested, so we'll just see if I hear from him.  He's also been OK at keeping in touch, just sort of at the last-minute about things, so that might be what's happening.

OH, let's talk about Sleeve for a second.  After the "things will be different" conversation, then "oops I forgot we made a date again" night that he came over, he ignored my invitation on that Saturday to come out and drink pumpkin beer, so when he texted Sunday to say "sorry, I wasn't looking at my phone last night" I just said "Why am I not surprised."  And that was the last convo!  It was over a week ago now!  I am kind of glad that I don't have to try to stop talking to him again, that it just stopped, but man, I wasn't even that mean so I'm surprised he went away.  I'd certainly been meaner before!  Anyway, I am happy that the caliber of men I'm spending time with/talking to has improved recently.  Aren't you proud of me?

I guess that's it today.  Tonight I have dodgeball at an early enough time that I think we'll be able to hang out and have some beers afterwards, so that should be fun.  I can see my engaged boyfriend and the military man I have a crush on, and that's always nice.  And I know I'm not writing down my food today, but once again I don't know what I'm having for dinner -- probably a salad from the deli before the afternoon is over so I can be tided until the beer drinking starts.  It's not ideal.

Oh that reminds me--for dinner last night, I ate the other half of a cheeseburger and fries from my dinner on Sunday night (that made me sick), and it hurt my tummy again!  It wasn't quite as bad, but I don't know if I need to avoid the red meat or the cheddar or the fries.  I think I can have limited fried things without problems (I had fries last Wednesday on the date, even), so maybe I can't eat meat?  Or was this burger particularly dangerous?  The hurting started like before I even finished eating, so it's clearly an immediate reaction.  I hope I don't have to go back to the doctor.

Monday, October 18, 2010

Hellooooo lovers.  How are we?

Let's talk weekend.  Friday night I went home with Schmillie for a yummy, healthy dinner that she made, which was a whole-grain tortilla wrap with chicken, kale, onions and tomatoes, and a little manchego.  So good for us.  Then we went to the Brooklyn Ethical Society (wine in tow, in a water bottle) to see a friend play bass. We caught the end of the "first act" who was really good (and the boy was cutish), then the second act was terrible and the leader of that band was just really cocky and also, after they'd played a song or two, he turned one way in the spotlight and we realized he had a giant goiter on his cheek. Then we could not stop laughing (Schmils was crying) so we waited outside the room until they were done sucking. Then friend's band was good and he sang and it was fun. Then we went to a bar for a beer (and I could have possibly had a love connection with the accordion player but I didn't have the energy) before heading home on the subway like good (tired) girls.

Saturday I met Schmammi for brunch at Il Bambino, which was lovely and chatty and we compared online dating notes, then we walked to my library so I could get the book club book (and one non-fiction about the creators of Nancy Drew! I'm so excited!), then she got the train and I walked home for room cleaning and a nap. Hike and I were texting and he had plans with friends in Astoria that night and asked if I'd want to come along, and though he didn't know the exact plans, he'd keep me posted. I wanted to have a drink with Schmeather and/or Schmannon, but Schmeather was meeting someone in Manhattan and Schmannon was going to a wedding, so I hung out at home for awhile, taking a bubble bath, reading, and having an upset stomach (I don't know why!) Al called to see if I wanted to play pool, but I ignored it.  I may be mean, but I have to be, right?

Around 9:30 Hike texts again and his friends had decided to go into the city but he stayed in Astoria, so we made plans to meet up for beers. (I was feeling better by then.  I chewed Tums, swallowed Gas-X, and something seemed to work.) He picked me up in his Altima (oh yeah) and we went to Sunswick. It was an awesome date two. We drank Pumking beer, talked non-stop, enjoyed the live music, made fun of Frenchies sitting near us, bonded with the bartenders, and were increasingly romantic.

Then Sunday I spoke to Mex (I tried to call Saturday and he gave me this whole text rigmarole about how he was busy and he'd call Sunday, and I said it wasn't fair that it was on his schedule, and he told me to pick a time Sunday so it'd be on my schedule, and I was like whatever, I don't know when on Sunday but we'll talk.) He apologized for texting, I said I'd like him to delete my number and I don't want to talk to him while he's drinking (I meant like in general drinking, in his life, but I think it came across as literally while he's drunk, but whatever), and he said he thought of that too so that it wouldn't happen again, so he'd do it when we hung up. And that was mostly it -- he said he's been "thinking" about the drinking problem and trying to be better, but yeah, heard that before. But instead of getting into it I just thanked him (for agreeing to delete) and said goodbye. It was fine and I was plenty distracted by the Hike thing to be too sad.  And Schmillie's the one who advised me to call him and ask him to delete, and I think it was a good idea.  I don't want to live with the threat of a looming Mex-Text Bomb (aka a burrito?) over my head.

So then I Skyped with Britch for a bit, napped, then met Schmannon and Schmeather at Mad Donkey for a beer and a burger, then I got sick in a bathroom way and went home. I was watching Fringe, and Hike texted and we chatted a little bit, and then I went to bed.  I am really excited that he's been so communicative with me -- he hasn't really given me time to worry about him disappearing.  Not that that means he won't, but so far I've been very sane with this thing, if I do say so myself.

I'm pretty crushy here, but we'll see how it goes. It feels so new and different with him, and that's good. I don't think I'm ahead of myself, though...but I'm enjoying it!  And then I have a date on Wednesday with someone else (not from online), so that should at least give me a distraction IN CASE I get too worked up over Hike.  Hike knows about the date, too, so no secrets or possible guilt problems. 

Tonight I need to do some laundry and that's my main, very exciting plan.  The week will be busy-ish again with dodgeball tomorrow night and then a date on Wednesday, and HOPEFULLY a third date with Hike in my future.

Friday, October 15, 2010

Just When You Think You've Gotten Away With It

My office is a ghost town today!  I have a feeling I'll be enjoying the bounty of the internet quite a bit.  I also tracked down the lady singer from the Avett Brothers concert, so I'm checking out her Youtube offerings, though there is not much.  What do you think?

The Munchers are discussing starting a month-long self-improvement game, that involves setting personal goals and getting points for reaching them.  It's sort of a competition, but with friendly encouragement included.  I think we're still working on details, but if it doesn't take off soon, I'll start on my goal list myself.  One of my items is to track my food again, so we'll be returning to that shortly.  In fact, I can do it today, though I don't know what I'm having for lunch yet.  I let myself buy (and I get one of those a week!)

So last night was a much-needed night in.  I got home and Skyped with Britch for an hour and a half or so, and we got all caught up and my psyche feels more balanced again.  Hike texted me during the day and I was pleased.

Oh right, so other than the fact that I need to trim down a bit for myself, as well as work these muscles again, as I can tell I'm not as flexible as I used to be, I also want to make sure I'll feel OK taking off my clothes in front of Hike or someone like him.  Ha, this is why I always liked slightly chubby guys, I think.  Hike is really fit and seems smooth and it makes me nervous to be all jiggly and lumpy.  So yeah, another motivating factor.  I mean, who knows if it'll happen, but I must get prepared.

As I was falling asleep last night (early! finally!), I was thinking about the Mex situation, and how I'll handle it when I'm more seriously dating someone new.  As in, how I'd talk about it, or what I'd do if we ran into him in the neighborhood.  I think the latter would make me very uncomfortable and I'd want to leave the establishment (if it were indoors), but I am not sure how to explain that to a suitor.  It's not that I want Mex back in my life, or that I still have romantic feelings for him, but I just still have a lot of pain and anger about what he did.  And I feel like that will seem as if I'm too hung up on it, and I probably AM too hung up on it, but I don't know what to do.  I mean, I'm progressing, I just don't want to turn somebody new off.  Anyway, I'm not looking for an exact answer, I'm just mulling this over. 

So right, then at 5:30 this morning I am awakened by a text message.  My phone just beeps once and doesn't usually wake me up, but I must've been rolling over or something so I wasn't as asleep.  Anyway, it's Mex (and we haven't talked in awhile now -- maybe nearly 2 months?) and he said "You were right."  I immediately roll my eyes and think "Oh god, the baiting of an alocoholic," because my friends who are more experienced with the disease have taught me about this.  Then the second thing I think is "Oh god, does he have an STD or something else horrible?"  (I wasn't entirely awake, obviously, and I am a worrier by nature, as you know.)  So I respond "About?"  Dumb move, Stevie.  He then is like "Oh, u r awake!" etc.  He misses me, he wants to see me, and then he tried calling, and I ignored it all.  The last one was just a pleading "baby" and for fuck's sake, man.  It was him crying wolf, being wasted, and being lonely, and it's sad.  I will say it's slightly better that I wasn't entirely awake at the time, because when I woke up for real this morning, it sort of just seemed like a bad dream.  (And I later dreamed about snakes, so you know, they connected.)  And I'm also encouraged that I'm not totally messed up by hearing from him, or hearing such things from him.  I'll admit it's nice to know that I'm not missing out on anything, as he's still a drunk, desperate loser, and it's also nice to know that YEAH it's not that easy to get over me, shithead.  But you know, in general I don't want to think about it much, and I think I can accomplish that.

Right, that happened.  But onwards.  The weekend should be great, and nice and cold and fall-ish!  Today I have fun lunch plans with the two local Munchers, and then tonight I'm going to Park Slope to see a friend's band with Schmillie, and at first I was thinking "Oh, I'm too old and tired," but then I realized that 1) I miss her and 2) I don't have much else planned this weekend, so that's lame.  Tomorrow I'm having brunch at Il Bambino in Astoria with Schmammi (where I didn't get to go on my brunch date last weekend), and that's it so far.  I know Mars (my date from Monday) has a wedding in NJ this weekend, so he won't be around, but perhaps Hike will want to meet up.  That would be lovely.  Happy Friday!

Food today:
B - Honey Bunches, coffee, milk
L - soup & half sandwich at 'Wichcraft
S - beer tonight

Thursday, October 14, 2010

I'll Pommes Your Frites

Stevie, reporting for duty.  Let's talk about last night.

Before the date began, I met up with my old boss in publishing, the fabulous MoMo.  We had a drink at Bill's (aka Bill's Gay Nineties), I met her ex-boyfriend, and we caught up for an hour.  I wish we had longer, but she'll be back in town soon.  She's so supportive and fun, and I miss her.

The Avett Brothers concert was amazing. The curtains opened on LANGHORNE EFFING SLIM, my boyfriend and Schmillie's ex-boyfriend, singing solo, then the Avetts come out and it's great, and they have some other guests throughout the night (including this woman with an amazing voice who I can't find online, and I want to listen to more), and Langhorne comes back for a few songs, and they talked about how when you play Radio City, you bring your family, and it was just awesome. They played for two hours, they kept up a good pace, and it was totally worth the ticket price.  Here's Langhorne, swoon:

My date Hike was sweet, nice, fun, etc. It was a really great night. And he's not the type I'm used to, but I think that's also good. He just seems happy and together and not too serious, and also so clean-cut. So why not try it, right? It's funny sort-of liking two boys at once, because I get flashes of "Oh I have to decide," but I DON'T. Especially since who knows if either will actually ask me out again. It's fun dating multiple people, as long as none are too serious, which obviously they're not now.

And I need to drop these 10 pounds again.  He seems pretty in-shape, and I don't want to be worried about getting nekkid...with anyone, I suppose.  I'm not putting all my eggs in his breadbasket!  Must stop that line of thinking!

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

Blah Blah Blah

Aw, Mars just texted and told me to have a good time at the show tonight.  That is sweet and slightly makes up for the NO answer he gave me.  Maybe he won't disappear?

Oh, and the guy from brunch on Saturday asked me to go to a movie sometime this week, but I said "Hey thanks, but I don't think we had the right chemistry.  It was nice to meet you, and I wish you the best!"  That's a gentle rejection, right?  I wanted to say "Put your napkin on your lap and then we'll talk," but that makes me feel too much like my mother.

The Mice Are Playing

I've accomplished very little real work today so far, and it's thrilling.  I'm also counting down the eight hours until I will be seeing my boyfriends, The Avett Brothers, at Radio City.

It will also be my first date with Hike from OKC.  I think it should at least be fun, as he seems nice and friendly, and he'd have to be pretty awful to ruin my experience with those bearded boys above.

Last night's dodgeball game was depressing, as we only had 6 people show up so we all got worn out pretty quickly, especially as we're one of the worst teams so we're constantly fighting for our lives.  I hate half my team, though, and I think they're just giving up.  Thanks, assholes.  Also I caught one ball where the force made me fall back onto my butt, and now my left butt hurts.  Maybe I'll ask my date to massage it?  :)

I did talk to the engaged friend, and of course HE knows and loves the Avett Brothers.  I had a moment of thinking "shoot, I should have asked him, " but then I realized that would be sort of pointless.  It's better to at least have a date, even if it may not work out.  It was all part of my plan that barely happened.  (I am probably jinxing myself right now.)

In other news, my dear old boss is in town for business, and I think I'll be able to swing by and see her at happy hour before I meet up with Mike.  MoMo is in the house, and I'm excited.

So wish me luck, and I'll report back tomorrow.

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

When It Rains, It Pours...and It's Raining Men

How many more cliches would fit there?  Come on, contribute, dear readers!

Let's catch up.  Well, Friday night I went home to relax after a busy-ish week, so that was uneventful, though there was delicious Indian food involved. Oh, but a guy who I wasn't so into on OK Cupid sent me a second message, and since I was catching up on my emailing there, I decided to give it a shot.  He had asked me to text him, and he wanted to get a drink that night but I said I was staying in, and so we made brunch plans. I liked the idea because it was less sexy than evening plans and I like brunch. So Saturday I met him for a nice outdoor brunch at Brick Cafe, and he was sweet but I wasn't feeling it, especially physically. He didn't really have a chin (or shoulders to speak of), he was only a little taller than me, he left his cloth napkin on the table the entire time, he asked me if the "Proscuitto and Buffalo Mozzerella Panini" meant there was chicken in it (because of the word buffalo), etc.  He also was very gung-ho about us going out again, and a bit touchy, and I let him kiss me goodbye with his mushy lips. He was going to visit his mom in NJ to pick pumpkins for the weekend so said he'd text me when he got back yesterday. But then he texted me Saturday afternoon about how much he liked me, and how I was easy to talk to, laugh with, and cute!  Nice but sad when you don't like the guy, right?  I was considering a second date just to make sure, but now I'm not.  Plus, he didn't text me last night so that's good!  It's uncomfortable turning men down.  I still have this nagging feeling like I should be grateful for their interest, you know?  Oh, the perils of being a teen with low self-esteem.

Saturday afternoon I napped for HOURS and it was great, then met up with Schmess for seasonal beers and dinner at Sweet Afton, then we went to Blackbird's for more beers and wings (what?) and it was a fun night but nothing crazy. I made the adult decision to go home from McCaffrey's (our last stop, hi Al) when she did, as opposed to trying to play pool all night. I was proud of myself. Sunday I was on a Mad Men mission, as we have a Time Warner appt on Thursday and they may have to take our cable box, which means the DVR would be gone. I watched nearly all of season 3 and most of what's aired of season 4. Ohhh yeah. Oh, and I'd heard from another OK Cupid guy, let's call him Mars, and he had to work Monday but wanted to get a drink after.

So Monday I e-mail Mars my phone number, so he texts and we make plans. He's living in College Point, Queens for the time being (rent-free at a friend's) but has lived in Astoria and will come back around Christmastime.  He parks his car at the 36th Ave stop (my stop!) for work commuting. Anyway, we made plans to meet over at Mad Donkey on 36th Ave. Then I got a mani/pedi/wax, baked chocolate zucchini bread to bring into work today, then got ready for my date. He is super cute (to me) -- tall, bearded, blue eyes, slight tummy, jeans, plaid shirt. He seems quieter and a bit more acerbic than I might like, but we'll see, as it could have been first-date nerves. We had a similar sense of humor and had lots of pop culture stuff in common. He was very gentlemanly with buying the beers and the appetizers, and we just slowly had two beers with food and left around 8:30. He asked if we should head out to try and beat the rain, but it had already started when we walked out, so he said "maybe in the deli..." and walked away only to come back with an umbrella. He was going to walk me home but we realized his car was parked on our way, so we go to the car and he drove me the rest of the blocks.  I picked Britney Spears off of his iPod, then he played me Brooks & Dunn while saying he hates country, and he kissed me outside my apartment in the car. I'm the one that broke the kiss because it was GOOD and I needed it to be chaster for now. :) Also he had just been teasing me and I had something to say in return. Anyway, I'd say I 65-70% like him, and I'd definitely go out with him again, but no plans were discussed. SO CUTE THOUGH.

Tonight is dodgeball at mothereffing 9:15 pm, and tomorrow is my Avett Brothers concert at Radio City.  Rockabilly told me yesterday he doesn't think it's his style of music, but he wants to go out next week (as he's out of town this weekend.)  Did I mention he's a vegan who doesn't want children?  I already told him I wouldn't marry him, so at least that's out of the way.  We're doing drinks/dinner on Wednesday, but that meant I needed a date for the show.  I actually texted Lars (to thank him for a good time, ostensibly) and he was reasonably chatty so I invited him, but he looked them up and ALSO didn't think it was his thing (wtf, guys?) so I asked this other OKC guy I'm chatting with, Hike.  Hike's now my date, and we're having dinner beforehand.  It's not an ideal first date but whatever, I'm achieving goals.

And for those keeping score, that's:
3.5 dates in one week (if we're counting Wednesday - Wednesday)
3 kisses (so far), 1 good one
0 slutty mistakes

I think it's a good scoreboard.  Obviously I don't want to keep up this pace for very long, but it's fun, and it makes me not worry so much about Lars REJECTING ME for the concert but then being vaguely flirty in the texting.  (He said he should also do laundry on Wednesday.  I said "Oh how sweet, I come second to laundry."  We tease like that.  He responded "Hmm, do you not want me smelling clean?"  That sort of implies I'd be smelling him later, right?) 

Well anyway, this is the news.  I'm sort of sleepy thinking about it all.  How soon can I retire?

Thursday, October 7, 2010

up/down DATE

I didn't want to mention this yesterday, but I have a confession:  I am still talking to Sleeve.  I "put my foot down" a few times in the past few weeks, as you know, about how nothing was happening and we weren't hanging out.  Though obviously I didn't do it very effectively, as sometimes I enjoyed the frequent texting.  I guess it made me feel less lonely, and it has been about two months of this fictional text romance.

So he called me on Tuesday night and we talked for awhile.  I already knew he was good at being/seeming very sincere in conversation, just not great at the follow-through.  He said that he's been treating me poorly and acting like an idiot, and he's been dealing with something that was taking up a lot of his time, and that he now cleared it so he can really prove to me that he's serious about seeing me.  I'm not used to a man talking so much about the relational situation, but this guy doesn't stop.  So I kept saying that it sounds nice, but I'm just reserving judgement, but I do believe he has good intentions or I wouldn't have taken his phone call.  I've been trying to keep him at arms' length, despite his entreaties, and he tells me he understands and he's going to prove himself to me, yada yada yada.  So he asks when he can see me, and we decide we'll meet up in Astoria around 8:30 pm last night.  He was going to skip his second class, since he's busy Thursday and this was important (or whatever.)  He said he'd be in touch yesterday, but that was the plan.

Guess how yesterday went?  I didn't hear anything, and to be honest, I'd sort of figured.  I did take a shower after I got home from picking up the veggies, but I did NOT proceed with makeup or getting dressed in date clothes or anything.  So at 9:30, when I'm snuggled in PJs and watching Cougar Town (shut up), I text him and say What the hell?  He responds, and the long and short of it is that a classmate texted him that morning to remind him of a midterm review, which requires him rushing to work to finish things in order to leave in time to make the review and classes, etc.  I said that he should have told me, and he said to be honest, he didn't think of it.  He also forgot to call his mother as scheduled, and this is one big mama's boy.

Ha, now I'm getting mad again.

So he leaves his class to call me and says he'll come back now and we can go out, and then I'm all "why did you leave?!  go back!" and he can't, and I said it was too late for me to go out at 10 on a work night, and he is apologizing up and down and I am angry and upset so I say I want to get off the phone and I hang up.  I cool down for awhile, then I text that I'm sorry I hung up so abruptly.  (I know I'm in the right, people, but I don't like acting that way.)  He says he's on the train and asks if he can some by and we can have a cigarette on the stoop together.  I said OK.  Frankly, at this point it's been built up way too much and I wanted to see him in person again, JUST TO SEE.  So basically he comes over, I let him inside and we sit on my bed and talk and watch the Yankees and drink one beer each.  He won't shut up with the apologizing and how he's going to be more thoughtful and it was just such a terrible day and we'll go out properly soon, since he didn't mean for it to be like this, and I get tired of talking about it.  He's so adamant that I know he's "for real" and I am willing to admit that I'm exploring the option.  And I know that's crazy.  Oh, full disclosure, there was a tiny bit of cuddling/hand holding and a chaste kiss goodnight. 

Right, so I don't want anyone to jump down my throat here.  I realize this is like a minefield and probably not a good idea, but I haven't been able to stop being somewhat interested in him.  I can make a pro/con list, but I think basically I like how he talks to me.  He's a big, dumb Italian with a heart o' gold (most of the time).  He's so direct and open in conversation, and I've never had anyone talk to me like this.  I also don't know what the reason is that he wants to sit down and talk to me about (for why it's taken two months to hang out), but he said he wants to tell me, so we'll see.  (Since last night was sort of his last-ditch attempt to salvage something, I didn't feel like having more serious discussions.)  There are many cons, but for now, it feels kinda OK.  And that is all.

Wednesday, October 6, 2010

Fishing in the Wrong Pond

Friends! Romans! Countrymen!

I've been avoiding you, I'm sorry.  I haven't been ready for the necessary amount of reflection to post here, which is silly, but my brain wants to be a hermit sometimes lately.  I think I've been a little sad and lonely and lethargic, and I was having some strange stomach pains that were helping me feel like DYING, but I think they've gotten better.  I probably can't allow myself as much cheating on how I should be eating with Crohn's.  Suck.

So the weekend.  Friday I was home from work with a weird side pain that had gotten worse since Wednesday.  But Thursday night it had gotten really steady and dull (as opposed to just sharp when I coughed/laughed/laid on it) and I also had a near-pass out at home.  I'm glad the roomie was there, as I sort of zombie walked into the living room, feeling like I was about to lose it (with the ringing ears, sweats, nausea symptoms) and she freaked out about what color I was and ended her phone convo to get me water and watch me try to stay conscious for a bit.  It went away after about 15 minutes, but she put me in bed and took my temperature and it was very nice to have a nurse.  And she actually called a nurse friend of hers to explain my pain and that reaction and see if we should go to the ER...but the nurse said if I didn't have a fever, I could probably wait until the morning.  So I saw the doc Friday morning, and she sort of laughed at me for thinking I might have a hernia (I don't know) and also didn't explain the fainting, but said to eat a bland diet and rest.  So after the doctor, I did some work from home while propped on pillows on my bed, then made two different zucchini soups (well, a lentil soup recipe from Schmillie with bonus zuc) and a chocolate zucchini bread. It was fun and productive but it took all afternoon. At night I was pretty exhuasted, so in lieu of meeting Schmess and her sister for dinner, I watched Mad Men and then went to bed.

Saturday I felt pretty normal so I took advantage of the weather and weeded out our front garden plot. It looks great, and I think my favorite part is trimming hedges. Then I got cleaned up (and trimmed my own hedges, heh) and went over to Schmeather's to meet she and Shmannon for some hanging out/beer/falafel pitas, then we went out to Sunswick (where I had two pumpkin beers that were 9% know where this is going) and then Mad Donkey (another Astoria bar), and then I decided to head into the city to go to a friend's 40th bday party (my old friend from dodgeball...that i hooked up with years ago) and so I saw some of the old crew there, and we played pool (it was at Amsterdam Billiards) and it was nice. Roomie was there with a friend, but I was mingling so I didn't get over-roomied. I also met this rockabilly-type guy and asked him to be my date for the Avett Bros concert next week -- what? Now I'm not sure if I really want him to, but I have his number and we texted a little that night. Anyway, I left the party and was trying to meet back up with Schmannon and Schmeather, but Schmeath had picked up an Austrian and Schmannon had picked up a guy she hooked up with last week, and then Al texted me and wanted to play pool, so I went to meet Al and play pool. It was fun, but man, guys are disgusting. Not Al, but all other men, really. My cabdriver (who was just nice and not sexual) asked me on a date before dropping me off (I SAID NO) and then the other guys at the dive bar just felt it was OK to make creepy comments to me, so that's awesome. Al kept saying to tell him if someone was causing a problem, but it's not like I actually wanted anyone to fight, I was just getting annoyed at men in general. I know, not fair, but it was a bad run of creepers. Anyway, pool, Al being mushy and in love with me, a bit of bar cuddling/kissing, then he we walked me home and made me have a relationship conversation (it's so weird being on the other end of this) where I said as little as possible but apologized for hurting his feelings. Though now I remember he was also being very sexually complimentary and I won't disturb you with what he said, but lord, I feel weird having my vagina complimented in a bar.  AMIRIGHT?  And then bed at 4 am.

Sunday I was hungover and watched more Mad Men and Kick-Ass in bed and ordered Chinese and that's about it. At least I felt productive up until then, but I no longer wish to deal with hangovers in any other way but total laziness. Schmannon and Schmeather were back out and wanted me to come, but I couldn't imagine. Also I was super sore from weeding, so that's it.
And then Monday brought a rainy cold day and another tummy ache, so it was home after work and right into pj's and a Veronica Mars marathon.  Last night I had dodgeball, which was frustrating, as half of my team doesn't try very hard and no one wanted to go out afterwards.  Actually, that part was OK, as I was home and am not hungover today, just sleepy from staying up too late on the phone.  But my team is annoying, except for the three friends (two from kickball), and two of them were out of town and the third, engaged friend's FIANCE was there.  Lameballs.
So today my spirits are up but my eyelids are droopy, and so let's hope it goes quickly at work.  Let's also try to figure out what I need to change so that I don't want to run away to a farm somewhere.