Sunday, September 19, 2010

Slip Slidin' Away

...is what this week has done.  How are we?  Everyone around here survive the "tornado" aka nasty thunderstorm last week?  It was just hard rain in Astoria, so I was surprised to hear of the damage done further east and south.  A few of my colleagues were affected -- one lost two car windows, and the other lost his patio furniture.  It could definitely have been worse, and I'm glad they're safe.

So last weekend seems like a long time away, but for posterity, I'll give you a recap.  Friday night I had a lovely mending evening with Schmillie.  We got tacos, drank lots of wine, tried on dresses and broke her sewing machine halfway through a dress-to-apron project.  I hope it's fixable, Schmills.  It was a great night, with all the magic of henna light but less murder poop pie scenarios.  Then Saturday I met up late with Schmannon for some pool at our current favorite old-man bar.  We were totally getting smoked by the real pool sharks, but we had lots of fun and made new friends.  She picked up a very cute pool pro, and I determinedly found someone to make out with myself.  Actually, I brought him home at 6 am, which always bodes well, doesn't it?  Anyway, I kicked him out shortly thereafter, and then slept for most of Sunday.  He was a very sweet guy, but I had one of my sudden snaps of "no longer into it," and then was just not interested.  I don't think we have a lot in common, plus he was really sweaty, and it grossed me out.  So of course he called me that afternoon.  I texted him that night, but then he called Monday to tell me not to call him for some reason that I couldn't understand as the voicemail broke up, but I mostly wanted to say that I wasn't exactly looking to date.  And between you and me, I'm not looking to date a drummer who works in a bar.  Yes, I'm a snob.

Anyway, last week was pretty calm.  On Monday I talked to Sleeve for two hours and we made a plan that he'd walk me back from the bank on Tuesday.  (Oh, did I tell you this?  I ran into him in my bank on Friday and Monday -- we work near each other and apparently our offices both use the same one.  Weird.)  So it was this big plan of our "first date" (ha) etc., then comes Tuesday and I text him when I'm going (as planned) and he says his boss already went and he can't get out of work.  Neat.  This guy is insane, as he's so into me and the plan when we actually make a plan, then blows me off.  And makes me text him first before he tells me?  Anyway, it was less of a surprise at this point, but still mind-boggling.  Of course there's still sexy texting all week, but at this point it's just entertainment for me, or at least it was this past week.  It's not really entertaining anymore.  I hear from him every day, but I just said (literally, just now) that it's getting frustrating for me and I want more.  We'll see if he responds to that one.  (And I kept it vague as to whether I want more from him or just more.  But it's weird to get a dirty text message from him when I'm out with another boy I'm interested in, you know?)

Wednesday night I met my new dodgeball team for drinks.  Our first game is this Tuesday, but it was supposed to be a meet-and-greet of sorts.  It was fun!  I liked the two new guys I met, and there was a guy from my kickball team who was fun to see again, and then Schmannon stopped by and Schmess came later.  Plus, two of the three boys were cute.  Bonus.

Friday was pretty quiet at work, with some people out due to the storm's consequences, and so Smee came by and asked me to lunch.  I didn't realize it was just the two of us until we were walking out!  It made me a little nervous, but it was really nice.  We sat at the bar at The Ginger Man and ate and had a few beers, and made it a long Friday date lunch, actually.  I mean, it was datish in that we were like totally facing each other and having good conversation and he paid.  So we get back to the office after two, and I said, um, can we go back at 5?  He said totally.  So yeah, we left at 5 and went to a bar across the street on 36th, The Archive, as it was a bit quieter and had more room.  Um, then we got drunk.  I think I got home at midnight.  I'd started with pumpkin beer at lunch, which isn't the lightest, and then had Blue Moons, and he'd switched to Ketel One and tonic.  It was still fun, but I am embarrassed by one emotional moment I had where he'd said he was wondering if I'd be wanting more than my current job -- like a more challenging one.  I hate when I'm drunk and something triggers a response that brings tears to my eyes and I have NO CONTROL.  I know it freaks people out and I hate it, so yeah, that happened, but I just apologized profusely and he was all worried, and I tried to change the subject.  Argh.  I clearly have buried issues about not living up to my potential.  Damn it.  And then later (after things had returned to normal), I did tease him about the Frisbee Freakout.  He played dumb at first.  I was like, fine, but I think you know something'sok, I like you.  I do.  I really like you.  But it can't happen," or something like that.  He said that imagine if when they offered to make him partner, and he'd have to say "By the way, I'm dating your Office Manager..."  I said I'd already figured that was the situation, but I was surprised he'd have to tell them, but he said he would.  I guess it is a very small and close office, so I can see it.  It wasn't really upsetting, since I'd already figured it out, but it's still sobering to hear it out loud.  (Ha, not that sobering though.)  We left soon after, and he walked me to a cab.  We texted a little bit while I was going home, and agreed that it sucked, and he asked if we were OK, and I said yes, I think so, but asked what he thought.  He said that we talked about it so he feels OK.  Which made me feel less like I'd pressed the issue, as he seemed happy to have cleared the air, and we all know I like to do that.  Even if later I feel over-aggressive paranoia.

Saturday I felt awful and hungover and stayed in bed all day, watching tv and sleeping.  I've been in a funk all weekend, and I don't think it's directly because of that, but just in general I feel like I'm narrowing options without really finding new ones.  (Oh, Al called a few more times during the week and texted once, so I finally just texted on Saturday that it wasn't a good time for me dating-wise, but that he was sweet, and I'd look forward to running into him again.  He said sweet.)  It's good that I'm not trying to date any of these guys, but I also am discouraged that no one is really going to be what I'm looking for.  Well, enough of that, but I'm still sort of sad.  At least I did laundry and cleaned the house a bit today, so I feel like a sort-of normal member of society.

I'm sure there's more to mull over, but that's the main haps and this is long enough.  Until next time...

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