Wednesday, September 1, 2010

Boyzzz Update

I find it odd that just as I'm writing my blog last night about the stupid men in my orbit, who should start drunkenly texting me (at like 8 pm) but Mex?  Of course, now that I've stopped thinking about him much at all, he appears to say "I wish it were different; this world is stupid.  Or, silly at least."  Yes, that is what he said.  It sort of freaked me out with the vague darkness, so I responded "What's going on?" and it went from there, as he was drunk and saying odd vague things, as he likes to do, and I get frustrated trying to figure out the point.  I finally asked what he wanted, to which he responded "nothing good" and COME ON BUDDY, HAVE A CONVERSATION LIKE NORMAL PEOPLE.  Whatever, it's not throwing me off like it has in the past.  He did ask if I wanted to meet up and play pool, and he said he missed me a lot, and I said that I didn't want to see him.  So that was good, on my part, at least.  And I know I'm supposed to not care at all, but I feel a bit vindicated that he misses me.  I hope it hurts forever, buddy.  And I don't miss him, which is nice.  I miss having someone, but certainly not someone like that.  But still, I wish he'd just grow up and change his life if he hates it so much.  I believe the phrase "living in a nightmare" was used.  Hi, you have control of that.  Loser.

So yeah, unfortunately I've thought about him more today as a result of it.  Nothing really concrete, he's just popped into my head.  I don't want him back, but I wish he weren't so gross, and I still wonder how he went so wrong.  But it's a detached feeling, too, and that's good.  I just want to get back to forgetting about him entirely.

And I talked to my other female work friend today about the Smee Frisbeegate.  She's a very calm, sort of the opposite of boy-crazy person, and she just laughed at his lack of suaveness and reminded me of how paranoid he is about inappropriateness at work.  She's said he probably left the Frisbee then went back to his desk and started panicking and debating if he should go back and get it before I saw it...which I can see.  So he'd worked himself into a lather by the time I stopped by.  She also said that some of the partners may frown upon a special relationship of that sort, and that's probably his concern...and he's also worked up because he knows he has feelings.  Anyway, she also made me feel not insane, and we laughed at his paranoia.  I'm still keeping my distance, OH and she advised to let him make any first moves that may occur, as he'll need to or else be totally freaked out.  Which is fine with me -- I'm not about to proposition him.  And I also am determined to be less aggressive in my future male relationships.  It makes me self-conscious and I don't want to have to be, even though waiting for men makes me very impatient.  Stupid men, why do I love you so much?

And...tonight's veggie share also had PEACHES AND PLUMS.  God, I want to marry summer stone fruit.  Or maybe I should name my first daughter Summer Stone Fruit?

1 comment:

  1. I'm proud of you for not meeting up with him. You sound so much stronger! I know it's difficult when you have a past with someone, but he's not working on himself. I love you!