Friday, February 24, 2012


Shmauren is visiting this weekend from Boston!  Tonight we're meeting at Sweet Afton in Astoria to catch up, meet her new (to us) beau, and bring all the boys along.  Tomorrow night there are more festivities planned in Manhattan at some of our favorite old haunts, and I wasn't sure if I could go due to packing plans, but I think I'm in decent shape so after putting some time in during the day, I should be able to head out again.  Hike will probably stay home to study tomorrow, but that's fiiine.  Girl time-ish!  And then I can go home sort of early (maybe?) and see him later in the evening.  Exciting!  I think Sunday is unplanned, so probably I'll be packing and maybe we'll see some family -- tbd.

So everything worked out OK with the car, though it is totaled.  He is going to get a nice settlement check from the insurance company and bank that puppy, so we'll sign up for Zipcar for the foreseeable future.  We don't need the car too often -- mostly for trips to LI to see the family and the rare weekends away, so Zipcar makes more sense economically right now.  Plus, how fun to try a different car each time!  And it looks like we'll still have the insurance-covered rental through next weekend, so I can use the car to move with (thank god.)  I was very worried about that, since I plan to drive over some fragile things, all my hanging clothes, and drive over to meet the movers on the other end and let them in. 

I've packed a few boxes each weeknight this week, except for last night which was book club.  (We Talked About Kevin a lot.)  I'm nearly to the point where I can't pack more until a day or two before we go, so that's under control.  I was a little nervous because we're having issues setting up Time Warner since the current tenants' hadn't cancelled it, and now they have but for Feb 29 (they're supposed to leave tomorrow?) so we can't officially put in our order until then, which means we may not get an installation as early as we wanted, but OH WELL.  I mean, I'm annoyed, but at this point it's not worth worrying about.  If I have to miss some work, I will -- especially since I'm not taking any time off to move.

I should be low-stress, which I am, part of the time.  I'm also just super excited to go!  Oh, last weekend (I will get into that shortly) I had a few moments of trepidation and wondering if I was doing the right thing, but as soon as we got back home, the roommate was up to her usual nagging, moving my stuff around in the shower, laughing obnoxiously at everything on tv, etc., so I was like GET ME OUTTA HEEEERE.  It's so time.

The weekend in Amish Country was nice!  Very rural and relaxing.  We got in on Saturday afternoon, and our room had a really nice shower with two shower heads and a fireplace and a canopied bed and a porch swing, and it was nice and cozy.  We christened it right away (ahem) then had some snacks in the room (complimentary) then he researched restaurants and I got pretty and we went to a lovely Italian place.  We did get into a fight at dinner (as usual) because somehow we cannot talk about the future without fighting now, but it got resolved.  It seems when I try to broach the topic of "how can we make this an exciting thing and not a fight fest?" it seems like I am criticizing, and so then he gets mad?  I don't really get it.  I'm not asking him to propose right now, but I am asking him to stop telling me one timeline and then pushing it back, and also to stop being so MEAN about the thing.  Or you know, be more sensitive to the fact that I compromised on living together and I want this to be something to look forward to.  Whatever, it seems better since then.  Somehow everything I was saying on the topic sounded like pressure to him, which I don't understand.  But it's better.

Sunday we drove around the towns and looked at farms and tried to find a market (but the Amish won't sell on a Sunday) and had lunch at an old brewery then did an Amish buggy ride and bought a Christmas ornament souvenir and then went to a fantastic seafood restaurant (go to one if you have one near you!) and then back for some romance.  Romance has been tough with his school schedule and our winter blahs and everything lately, so I'm really happy we were all crazy for each other again.  PLUS HE'S GOT A NEW TECHNIQUE.  I won't elaborate, but it was very thrilling.  And then I also had a dream orgasm for the first time!  Anyway, it was good.  Then Monday we stopped at a few markets and a chocolate store on our way out of town, and we had an uneventful drive home.  It was nice to get away, but it went so quickly. 

So that's what's going on, folks.  Oh, apparently moving in together is a huge deal and he just wants to get through that first (um, meant in a less negative way than that sounded) and I've obviously not given it enough thought because I'm moving in first, anyway, and I'm thinking about all the details of setting up an apartment.  But yeah, I need to reflect on stuff like that more instead of being all "next challenge, please!"  But really, I'll have time once I'm settled in.  And I'm not going to change my mind, but just sort of see the significance or WHATEVER.  I do know I'm not ready to be engaged yet, and we're not ready together yet, so I think things are fine as they are right now.  I need to stop checking off items on my life to-do list, as always.

Happy weekends!

Friday, February 17, 2012

This Day Needs to End Already

So it's 4:53 pm and I am SO READY for a three-day weekend, especially one that involves traveling to Amish Country tomorrow.  I've never been to Amish Country!  Plus I love driving in the country, plus I can't wait to get away with my honey (and hopefully get along SPLENDIDLY), plus our room features a porch swing and a fireplace!  And apparently a wrought-iron shower gate.  Plus it's sunny out and it's so hot in my office that my roses are wilting and god, this was the longest week ever.  Hope you all enjoy your weekends!  I will bring you back something antique, like a shoe buckle!

Wednesday, February 15, 2012

Not Dead Yet

Wow, again, keeping up with this is getting difficult!  But hey, I'm back to being a little slow at work again, and there are so many things to talk about.  Get ready, world.

Let's do major topic summaries, shall we?

Love:  Things are pretty good!  Hike and I are still learning how to fight, but it's getting better, and we really only have big ones when we're both tired at the same time and short on patience.  It's new to me that he feels I get cold and distant in an argument, because I never would have thought of myself that way, but I admit that it's true that I want to win at any cost, plus I want to protect myself, so I sort of get really rational and act superior.  I'm working on that.  He, of course, gets angry and irrational and I hate that, so it's a process.  Surprisingly (or not), he responds better when I just yell whatever I'm thinking (i.e. "You're being retarded and I don't understand why!") -- he'll get calm again.  We obviously come from different fighting camps, and it's an interesting process. 

But in BIG LOVE NEWS (or whatever), we signed a lease together!  I was feeling ready to leave my roommate situation and soon, so we started looking in late January for March 1.  There are not a lot of options for March 1 that early, but we saw a few and really liked one of them, so we moved quickly.  It was actually supposed to be a Feb 15 move-in, and we were asking the owner if we could delay, but turns out the current tenants' move-out got delayed so March 1 was perfect.  It's still in Astoria, but on a different subway stop (the one where I wanted to be) and less than a 3 minute walk to the train.  It's on an avenue, so it's a busier section, but the apartment is cute and laid out really nicely, with a separate eat-in kitchen and a linen closet.  Also only one clothes closet in the living room, but hey, that's NY.  We'll just buy an Ikea wardrobe.  So the plan is that I'll move March 3 (Saturday) and he'll join me probably June 1, when the Spring semester of school (his MBA) is finished.  He can't really handle doing it during school, both time-wise and stress-wise.  I like it because I can sort of experience living alone for awhile (even though he'll be around quite a bit) before I never do again (in theory, at least.)  I'm currently going crazy with online ordering of things like shower curtains, kitchen tools, etc., but it's fun.  I've also just started packing books and things, and after this weekend, I'll really get down to it.  I can't wait to set up a place just how I want it, without someone moving my shampoo because she thinks there's a better spot for it or whatever.  I'll be FREEEEEEE.

Oh, and this weekend we're going away to Cornwall, PA for a B&B celebration of Valentine's Day.  Yesterday Hike had a dozen roses and chocolate delivered to me at work, then we had a nice dinner and he gave me a book about Downton Abbey. :)  We did get into a small disagreement at the end of dinner because I wanted to talk about how it hurts me when he keeps telling me our engagement timeline and then changing it, and I thought we could handle talking about it positively and without a problem, but then he lost his patience and said I wouldn't let it go.  I said he should practice active listening so I know he understands.  Anyway, we resolved it rather quickly but WHY CAN WE NOT CELEBRATE SOMETHING WITHOUT HAVING AN ISSUE?  Also, related, why can I not talk about what's on my mind all the time?  Blahhhhh but it's all fine now.  He understands and said it won't happen again.  Whatever, I just want it to be an exciting topic and not such a crappy one.  It's not that I'm saying "propose now!" I'm just saying "stop pushing it back four times please."  That doesn't make me feel very desired.  Despite your promises to the contrary.

So...oh right, so I changed my mind on the "I want to be engaged before we live together," because it was adding so much pressure and deadliney-feelings to the whole thing.  Also, I'm sort of OK not being engaged yet.  I feel like I want to work some of our communication issues out first.  And obviously it's not really a fun topic right now anyway, so I just want to ease off of that.  One thing at a time.  He thinks the summer will be a good time for him to get it together with proposing, so we'll see what happens.  I'm fine with waiting right now.  And scene.

Weight:  I'm casually doing Weight Watchers, and I also made some big changes to my "everyday" meals.  No more cereal for breakfast, and instead I'm having one hard-boiled egg and some cottage cheese with fruit.  I am also eating almonds instead of granola/Special K bars.  I was feeling like I wanted to cut out some of the processed carbs, and it (along with fewer splurges) has made a bit of difference.  I'm down around 5 lbs, give or take, but it's going very slowly.  I feel like part of it is the "turning 30" curse, and most of it is my social eating and sweet tooth temptations.  Still, it's a journey and it's going OK.  I read a book called "The Petite Advantage" which had some good information about weight and health for petite ladies, and one thing I liked is that the author was very anti-cardio.  He says you should move as much as possible, but long cardio stretches really only cause you to hunch over, hurt your body and eat more afterwards.  He's big on strength training because of the long, lean muscles and the longer caloric afterburn.  So I bought some over-the-door "gravity straps" and want to do his strength-training plan, but I've only done it about once so far (in the past month.)  It seems like the nights where I have time, I just feel so exhausted when I get home.  Or I am doing moving stuff or Hike stuff or whatever.  Part of that is the winter laziness, and part is lack of motivation.  Oh, and being ill, which I'll get to shortly.  But I know it'll come along, and I'm not giving up on it.  Plus, it's cheaper than a gym membership.  I'm also taking Vitamin D supplements now because those are supposed to help me not want to be in bed all day, every day in the winter.  We'll see, it's only been a week on those.

Health:  I've had a reoccuring case of pink eye this winter.  I have never had it in my LIFE, and have no idea where it came from this time, but it started about January 9.  I went to the doctor, got on eye drops, went back for a follow-up a week later, she said it's better and I can wean off the drops, and then the following week I'd wake up with it again.  This has happened twice more since the first appearance.  Finally the doctor sent me to a specialist, who I like better but basically just added more medicine (an ointment I have to put ON MY EYEBALLS before bed).  I saw her today for my follow-up and she says I'm better, and she's going to wean me off medicine, and she still wants to see me again in three weeks.  So this time I won't take any risks with eye creams or concealer (the last doctor told me I could just wipe off the top of the pot, but NEVER AGAIN) and I'm using washcloths for only one day, etc.  Obviously I've been through about four mascaras, though it's usually only that last weekend before the re-appearance that I've used any makeup.  I'm tired of looking like I have the Spanish flu!

I think that hits all of the recent news.  I'll try to be better about posting, and shorter, for those who don't feel like reading a book.  I'm just so LETHARGIC with this stupid winter.  I need a snowstorm to perk me up!