Wednesday, February 15, 2012

Not Dead Yet

Wow, again, keeping up with this is getting difficult!  But hey, I'm back to being a little slow at work again, and there are so many things to talk about.  Get ready, world.

Let's do major topic summaries, shall we?

Love:  Things are pretty good!  Hike and I are still learning how to fight, but it's getting better, and we really only have big ones when we're both tired at the same time and short on patience.  It's new to me that he feels I get cold and distant in an argument, because I never would have thought of myself that way, but I admit that it's true that I want to win at any cost, plus I want to protect myself, so I sort of get really rational and act superior.  I'm working on that.  He, of course, gets angry and irrational and I hate that, so it's a process.  Surprisingly (or not), he responds better when I just yell whatever I'm thinking (i.e. "You're being retarded and I don't understand why!") -- he'll get calm again.  We obviously come from different fighting camps, and it's an interesting process. 

But in BIG LOVE NEWS (or whatever), we signed a lease together!  I was feeling ready to leave my roommate situation and soon, so we started looking in late January for March 1.  There are not a lot of options for March 1 that early, but we saw a few and really liked one of them, so we moved quickly.  It was actually supposed to be a Feb 15 move-in, and we were asking the owner if we could delay, but turns out the current tenants' move-out got delayed so March 1 was perfect.  It's still in Astoria, but on a different subway stop (the one where I wanted to be) and less than a 3 minute walk to the train.  It's on an avenue, so it's a busier section, but the apartment is cute and laid out really nicely, with a separate eat-in kitchen and a linen closet.  Also only one clothes closet in the living room, but hey, that's NY.  We'll just buy an Ikea wardrobe.  So the plan is that I'll move March 3 (Saturday) and he'll join me probably June 1, when the Spring semester of school (his MBA) is finished.  He can't really handle doing it during school, both time-wise and stress-wise.  I like it because I can sort of experience living alone for awhile (even though he'll be around quite a bit) before I never do again (in theory, at least.)  I'm currently going crazy with online ordering of things like shower curtains, kitchen tools, etc., but it's fun.  I've also just started packing books and things, and after this weekend, I'll really get down to it.  I can't wait to set up a place just how I want it, without someone moving my shampoo because she thinks there's a better spot for it or whatever.  I'll be FREEEEEEE.

Oh, and this weekend we're going away to Cornwall, PA for a B&B celebration of Valentine's Day.  Yesterday Hike had a dozen roses and chocolate delivered to me at work, then we had a nice dinner and he gave me a book about Downton Abbey. :)  We did get into a small disagreement at the end of dinner because I wanted to talk about how it hurts me when he keeps telling me our engagement timeline and then changing it, and I thought we could handle talking about it positively and without a problem, but then he lost his patience and said I wouldn't let it go.  I said he should practice active listening so I know he understands.  Anyway, we resolved it rather quickly but WHY CAN WE NOT CELEBRATE SOMETHING WITHOUT HAVING AN ISSUE?  Also, related, why can I not talk about what's on my mind all the time?  Blahhhhh but it's all fine now.  He understands and said it won't happen again.  Whatever, I just want it to be an exciting topic and not such a crappy one.  It's not that I'm saying "propose now!" I'm just saying "stop pushing it back four times please."  That doesn't make me feel very desired.  Despite your promises to the contrary.

So...oh right, so I changed my mind on the "I want to be engaged before we live together," because it was adding so much pressure and deadliney-feelings to the whole thing.  Also, I'm sort of OK not being engaged yet.  I feel like I want to work some of our communication issues out first.  And obviously it's not really a fun topic right now anyway, so I just want to ease off of that.  One thing at a time.  He thinks the summer will be a good time for him to get it together with proposing, so we'll see what happens.  I'm fine with waiting right now.  And scene.

Weight:  I'm casually doing Weight Watchers, and I also made some big changes to my "everyday" meals.  No more cereal for breakfast, and instead I'm having one hard-boiled egg and some cottage cheese with fruit.  I am also eating almonds instead of granola/Special K bars.  I was feeling like I wanted to cut out some of the processed carbs, and it (along with fewer splurges) has made a bit of difference.  I'm down around 5 lbs, give or take, but it's going very slowly.  I feel like part of it is the "turning 30" curse, and most of it is my social eating and sweet tooth temptations.  Still, it's a journey and it's going OK.  I read a book called "The Petite Advantage" which had some good information about weight and health for petite ladies, and one thing I liked is that the author was very anti-cardio.  He says you should move as much as possible, but long cardio stretches really only cause you to hunch over, hurt your body and eat more afterwards.  He's big on strength training because of the long, lean muscles and the longer caloric afterburn.  So I bought some over-the-door "gravity straps" and want to do his strength-training plan, but I've only done it about once so far (in the past month.)  It seems like the nights where I have time, I just feel so exhausted when I get home.  Or I am doing moving stuff or Hike stuff or whatever.  Part of that is the winter laziness, and part is lack of motivation.  Oh, and being ill, which I'll get to shortly.  But I know it'll come along, and I'm not giving up on it.  Plus, it's cheaper than a gym membership.  I'm also taking Vitamin D supplements now because those are supposed to help me not want to be in bed all day, every day in the winter.  We'll see, it's only been a week on those.

Health:  I've had a reoccuring case of pink eye this winter.  I have never had it in my LIFE, and have no idea where it came from this time, but it started about January 9.  I went to the doctor, got on eye drops, went back for a follow-up a week later, she said it's better and I can wean off the drops, and then the following week I'd wake up with it again.  This has happened twice more since the first appearance.  Finally the doctor sent me to a specialist, who I like better but basically just added more medicine (an ointment I have to put ON MY EYEBALLS before bed).  I saw her today for my follow-up and she says I'm better, and she's going to wean me off medicine, and she still wants to see me again in three weeks.  So this time I won't take any risks with eye creams or concealer (the last doctor told me I could just wipe off the top of the pot, but NEVER AGAIN) and I'm using washcloths for only one day, etc.  Obviously I've been through about four mascaras, though it's usually only that last weekend before the re-appearance that I've used any makeup.  I'm tired of looking like I have the Spanish flu!

I think that hits all of the recent news.  I'll try to be better about posting, and shorter, for those who don't feel like reading a book.  I'm just so LETHARGIC with this stupid winter.  I need a snowstorm to perk me up!

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