Happy humping, folks.  How's the week going?  I had a fantastic time at last night's Sound of Music sing along.  Turns out it was not quite as I expected -- there were no drag queens, no costumes, and no rowdy groups.  Instead there were some old couples and lots of women our age, as well as some random thugs, which was sort of charming.  Everyone was very hesitant about the singing in the beginning, but soon we all warmed up and began to belt it.  It helped that we also started heckling, like hissing when the Baroness came on the screen, and booing the Nazis.  Soon we were like one big family, we the audience, and I sort of wish all movies were like that.  It was so interactive.  It also helped that Schmillie and I killed a bottle of wine before the "insert 2nd tape" part of the movie.

It was also just amazing to see it on the screen, fully restored.  I really enjoyed the details in the scenery and the costumes that I'd never been able to see, as well as the subtle facial expressions, and laughing at Schmillie's creepy childhood crush Kurt, and my obviously gay childhood crush Friedrich.  So after a shaky start, I'd say the sing along was a success.

Food today is usual, except I skipped the cereal as I wasn't hungry for it, though now, an hour after soup, I'm starving, so I think I'll eat some now.  It's OK to rearrange!  Oh, and I have been eating pretty heavy foods for dinners since I had so much leftover from the weekend, so it'll be Sweet & Sour Chicken for dinner tonight, but at least I'm practicing portion control.  It would be good to get some exercise, but I'm so tired today after many late nights in a row that I don't think it'll happen tonight.  I have DVR to catch up on after I get the veggies, anyway.  Oh, but we're signing up for a winter share with our CSA, which they'd never offered before.  It looks exciting -- we'll get produce, "value-added items"??, dairy (cheese, yogurt, eggs, butter, milk) and occasionally ground beef and/or chicken.  And it's a monthly pickup, which makes it easier schedule-wise (though maybe not bag-carrying-wise.)  I'm looking forward to local cheese THE MOSTEST.

Happy rainy, crappy Wednesday, friends.  Hope you get to be lazy, too.

Love Handles for All

Happy sad Monday!  I am really loving the weather today, and I had a great weekend, so once again I'm in a good mood.  Now if I could just make myself do some work.

Let's recap!  Friday I had a friend date with Schmillie to see The Social Network, then we had dinner after the movie at Republic and then got 16 (Love) Handles frozen yogurt, and I tried PUMPKIN. It was good, but I think pumpkin-flavored dairy needs to be full-fat, as it got a little chemically after a few bites. Saturday I made a Curry Zucchini Soup, then got my nails did, then napped, then met Schmess and her bf and Schmess' visiting friend for dinner at Il Bambino in Astoria (along with two bottles of wine) and then beer at Sweet Afton, where our friend the Marine from d-ball met up, too. Hike was possibly going to be in Astoria that night but ended up going out in the city with his bro and friends, so I didn't see him but we texted all night and said flirty things, etc. Sunday I nursed my hangover for awhile, skyped with Britch, then Hike picked me up at 4 to see The Town. We had discussed going to see Paranormal Activity 2 and I was saying I'll be terrified but I'd try it, and then on Sunday I was like "Um, is there anything else you might want to see, perhaps?" and he did want to see The Town so he gallantly did not force me to be traumatized by PA2. So The Town. I think I was a little disappointed (did I become a movie jerk recently? Maybe.) because it moved slowly at parts, but you know how I LOVE terrible (read: awesome) Boston accents and Ben Affleck in track suits, and I got plenty of that. There was also a preview for another Boston blue-collar Ben movie with COSTNER that I am excited about. So movie date then dinner after at 5 Napkin Burger (yum), and then home to hang out/watch Fox cartoons/make out a lot. It was a good date.

NO, I'M NOT GETTING CARRIED AWAY. But I'm enjoying it. And trying desperately not to get crazy or worried, to various degrees of success.
 
As far as Rockabilly goes, I forgot to tell you last week that there was never any communication so the "date night" passed by silently, and I'm good with that.  After Hike said he wasn't signing onto OKCupid, he asked me, and I said it'd been about a week...and that was as far as we took that conversation, but I want to see what happens with him without further hedging my bets.  At least right now.
 
Tonight is Harpie dinner at someone's new place in Williamsburg, and I'm looking forward to seeing everyone and the new apartment!  Our theme is "spooky" and I'm making zucchini latkes that I will call mashed brains and/or guts.  Then tomorrow is SING-ALONG SOUND OF MUSIC, which is going to be amazing.  (Yes, I'm blowing off dodgeball.  Tough luck, suckers.)
 
Oh, and food this weekend was mostly a disaster, though I still feel skinny today.  Weird!  I did walk home from work on Thursday, and I'm sure that shaved POUNDS off.  Friday we ate good noodles (I had Pad Thai), Saturday I had crostinis for dinner, and Sunday I ordered crab rangoon in the morning and then had half a burger and Parmesan herb fries at dinner.  Alas.  My goal for tonight is to not feel sick to my stomach after dinner -- here's hoping!
 
KFC you later, lovers.

Crazytown

[redacted]

I had a nice outdoor (slightly chilly) last-minute lunch date with Schmillie today, and I'm considering walking home from work (I know, I'm sort of amazed myself since I haven't moved this body in AGES), and I'm loving my iPod again after some time apart, and things are good.

Oh, and today Schmillie and I bought tickets to THIS.  I CAN'T WAIT.

Food today: The usual, except for eating some croutons from Schmillie's salad.  Oh, and my afternoon snack was Craisinets, but they're only 100 calories and 4 grams of fat.
Stomach today:  Being a bitch again.  I don't want to have to go back to the doctor and swallow a CAMERA like a Magic School Bus book!  No!

It's almost Friday, lovers.

Just Checking In.

How beautiful is it outside today, folks?  Or at least for those of us on the East Coast?  I mean, THIS is what I would love all summer to be like.  It feels like a Michigan summer day, where it's finally warm enough in the afternoon to bask in the sun at the lake.  Which is what I'll be doing in about three weeks.

I'm happy that it's more comfortable for my personal double-header of softball and kickball tonight -- or more realistically, softball and then the bar, since I doubt I'll make it back to Astoria in time for the actual kickball game.  Did I tell you our team name?  We're the Ballstorians.  Haaa.

Tomorrow I get to go with the law firm partners to see our new office space, where we'll be moving this winter.  I believe we're going to choose "finishes," and while I'm not sure entirely what that means, I'm thinking paneling and carpeting and stuff?  Hopefully they'll let me weigh in as the only female present...which CLEARLY means I have design sense.  I'm excited...and I hope they'll tell me where I'll sit, so I can fantasize about it (or dread it) for a long time.  I'll pick out hair band posters to put on the wall and everything.

So food today:
B - Special K with berries, milk, coffee - 4
L - turkey & cheddar sammy, yogurt with strawberries - 6
D - TBD
S - string cheese, strawberries, granola bar - 4 ish 
And probably beer...but Bud Light! :)

Back to Whelmed and What I Ate

I think this was my longest break yet.  Ugh, this whole "having two jobs at the same firm" thing is seriously cutting into my internet time!  They need to fill the receptionist position but so far it doesn't seem as if we've made progress, but I am definitely enjoying learning the office management and book keeping stuff.  When I do very important things like cut a check, I feel so proud.  Next stop: ordering office supplies and soda, which I am way too excited about.

So...what should I catch you up on?  There isn't any major news, but lots of the same stuff.  Still flirting with a few boys though there hasn't been any kissing for awhile (though maybe that will change next weekend, when the drummer comes back to town?)  I met a too-nerdy guy on Saturday night while running the pool table at a gay bar on 14th Street who plays the tuba for the Metropolitan Opera, which is great, but he is possibly going to murder me so I am not sure I want to hang out.  Oh, and he's straight, but going through a divorce, 41, with two boys.  Yikes.  (He called me on Sunday and wants to play pool again, as friends, which I apparently made clear when he first asked me out, huh?  I was sort of mean.  But that apparently works.)  Got a text from the drummer last night which reads "This weekend.  Epic shenanigans."  I'm still e-mailing the inappropriate guy-with-a-girlfriend, but that's getting boring.  Still have a giant crush on Blackbeard, as I keep learning more fascinating things -- like that he bought the new Black Keys album on vinyl last week.  Sigh.  Also, today he's wearing like a real suit/tie/possibly suspenders, and it's adorable.  (Did I make up the suspenders?  I'll report back -- but he looks very Wall Street.) 

Annnnd that girl that Mex knocked up called me at work on Friday WHILE WAITING AT THE OBGYN'S OFFICE (I found this out later -- she just rambled some stuff to me, clearly trying to manipulate me since she sees me as a threat to what she wants) and then she found out she'd miscarried.  She's insane.  I spoke to Mex on Friday evening about it all, and how everytime I try to get out of this situation (or remove myself, in order to heal) I get pulled back in.  He apologized profusely for her behavior and we had a reasonable, firm but polite talk, and so I'm in as good a place as I can be with that situation.  I'm sad and lonesome, but I have a lot more closure on what happened.  (And as terrible as it might seem, I am a little relieved that the situation resolved itself in this way.)

I've been spending a lot of quality time with the Munchers and other friends lately, which is really helpful and lovely, and kickball season is starting this week, as well as our veggie CSA.  And my roommate, who's not been home much at all for the past few weeks, will be back to a more normal schedule, which I'm sure I will complain about soon, but for now I'm looking forward to not being alone as much.  It makes me do things I shouldn't do, or contact people I shouldn't!  I need to keep busy and make new friends, especially since my dear Astorian Schmauren is leaving me soon to move to Boston.  On the plus side, I now have a nice weekend getaway destination (i.e. her couch) but I will be so lonely in my neighborhood!  I plan to try and co-opt her local friends as my own, but still, it's a sad time for neighborhood homies.  It may push me into new social groups, however, which could be good for my love life, right?

Otherwise life goes on, and I'm looking forward to a full and fun summer.  I've planned a week's vacation home to see the family (and spend some time in Traverse City, MI!) in late July, which will be relaxing, and there are other upcoming activities to anticipate!  Like maybe making out this weekend!  (I hope I'm not jinxing myself here.)  I missed posting, though, and I promise I'll be better -- I think the big overwhelming learning period at work is slowing down.  Cross your fingers for me!

Oh, and foodwise I've been on track during my weeks and a bit worse on the weekends, though it seems to be working just fine for my weight.  Now I need to work on more muscle tone, and maybe another 5-10 pounds off, but that might be reaching for the stars.  I'm feeling pretty good about my body, which is a very welcome thing!

Food today:
B - string cheese, honey o's, coffee, milk - 5
L - turkey & cheese sammy, yogurt with strawberries - 6
D - tbd
S - beer with Schmauren to catch up on weekends, soup - 3+
Total - Not worrying about it.

Ch-ch-ch-changes and What I Ate

Oh friends, this week is pretty crazy.  I will give you the bullet points, since I can't take time to write very much.

• Monday morning I spoke to Mex's dad, since I think the situation needed some intervention and I can't be the only sane person who knows what's going on.  It was a good decision -- apparently his dad came down yesterday.
• BUT after texting to learn that on Monday night with Mex, I didn't talk to him yesterday or today so far.  And I won't.  It's been a little while since we've gone a day without talking (even when the talking was fighting), so it's good but hard to be back on the wagon.  And obviously necessary and right.  I just feel like know I can leave it in someone else's hands, and that's good.
• SOOO enough of that crap.  Yesterday our firm's Office Manager/Book keeper was ARRESTED for embezzling!  It was a very exciting/sad day.  The police detectives came to get him at the office and everything.  He's like an old funny uncle type, in his 60s, and had been here for 10 years.  Crazy.
• BUT that means my promotion has been accelerated...to today.  They talked to me yesterday about my role and my raise goes into effect today!  I'm going to do billing/accounting stuff, plus office managing and some paralegal work.  They're already interviewing replacement receptionists.  THIS IS GREAT.
• Two more reasons we all love Blackbeard:  He owns all of the Arrested Development seasons on DVD (like I do) AND he just started home brewing beer recently!  His first batch is an American Pale Ale, and I name dropped "carboy" like nobody's business.  It was amazing.  So how do we get him to love me?!  I feel like I'm still in the "letting him get comfortable with me" phase.  He's on the quiet side, as I've said.
• Tonight I have a double-header softball game and it is STEAMING outside.  I am going to die.  I hate being hot plus I brought black pants, which will definitely be rolled up for maximum air circulation.
• Tomorrow night I'm having drinks with an old NY friend who I haven't seen recently.  He wrote a book and wants to pick my brain.  I want him to buy me drinks.  Perfect!
• This weekend a friend (and her family -- she's a married mom) are coming from Toledo to visit, and I think I'm meeting up with them on Saturday for some Natural History Museum.  Two birds with one stone?  Yes.  Plus, making awkward conversation with 10- and 12-year old boys.
• Yesterday (after a long absense) I saw my hot chef neighbor leaving his apartment in the morning.  We sort of talked as we walked in different directions, but then when I got to work I saw that I had a missed call from him?  I texted back but then he didn't respond, BUT this reminds me that I may need to make him my lover.
• This morning I awoke to a text from an old friend in Ohio (who is possibly in love with me) that wished me a good day.  Very sweet.
• Clearly I need to start dating.

Food:
B - honey bunches, coffee, milk - 4
L - sammy, yogurt with blueberries - 6
D - leftover chicken tikka masala - 6?
S - grapes, string cheese, granny bar, soup? - tbd
Total - around 20, I think
WEIGHT, as of yesterday morning - 138!

Monday Bloody Monday and What I Ate

Happy cloudy, oversleeping Monday!  How were our weekends?

Mine was mostly great.  Friday night (as you know) I walked home with Schmauren, then we hit up this amazing EuroMarket in Astoria to pick out our beer for the Craft Beer Food Pairing Party.  We settled on a Maine American Pale Ale from Geary's brewery, mostly because of the lobster on the label, but we also like to support New England.  Then we dropped it off at her place before settling down at an outdoor table at Bareburger for bison burgers (yum) and fried accessories.  Then it was 8 pm and we were wiped, so back to our respective homes for the night.  I prepped the pork that I was going to bring to the party and got it going in the Crock Pot and then caught up on some DVR before bed. 

Saturday I managed to sleep in until nearly 11, which is a breakthrough for me.  I've always been a good sleeper but with this stress lately I've not been able to shut down my brain enough, so it felt good.  It also meant no mani/pedi for me before the party, but that was fine.  I did laundry finally, added the BBQ to the pork, and talked to Mex about not talking anymore.  Then I met up with Schmauren to walk to Shmess' house.  We got there early and helped with a bit of prep, then when all parties had arrived, the tasting began!  Everyone managed to stay organized (which can be difficult) so each team (who'd brought a six of beer or a growler and a food pairing) went in order of lightest to darkest beer, and stood up to talk about what they'd brought. The first presenter actually homebrews, soshe brought a hefeweizen that was so good! And she had lots of interesting home brew stuff to say. My team did pulled pork sliders on Hawaiian rolls with that APA.  The whole thing went wonderfully, and after the official agenda, we all sat around on the deck and just hung out. At around 10:00, the party was disbanding, and I went to Kelly's with a few new friends because they like divey bars and Shmannon wanted to play pool with me.  And I can't resist that.

So the night devolved a bit futher, as we ran into the "not-drinking" Mex there and blah blah blah.  But the pool playing was fun!  I was up late dealing with some drama, however, then couldn't really sleep on Sunday morning so I got up with 4 hours of sleep under my belt and lots more heartache.  I decided to get my mani/pedi, which felt nice, then went back to bed to watch Coalminer's Daughter (though I ran out of time to finish it!) and have a final wrap-up convo with Mex before Lost, the 4.5 hour long extravaganza.  And I ordered Chicken Tikka Masala.  And then Lost for the evening, then a quick sleep, thankfully.  (Also, I was really confused at the end of the finale.  Thank goodness for the internets.)

Tonight I have another Harpie dinner at Shmate's house, and I can't wait to spend some low-key hang time with the ladies, as our one male is abandoning us for tonight.  (Typical.)  And work is very very boring, so I will maybe do some freelancing this afternoon.  But it's lunchtime now, la la la.

Food.
B - Special K berries, milk, coffee, granny bar - 6
L - sammy, yogurt with b-nan - 6
D - European-themed delights - ?
S - soup
Total - TBD
Activity - short walk to Kate's, high blood pressure

Short Skirts and Converse and What I Ate

Happy Frrrriday, friends!

It's going to be a lovely warm summery day.  I can't wait for the weekend, either.  Tonight I'm walking home with Schmauren, then we're doing some shopping for tomorrow's First Annual Astoria Beer Tasting.  Which is comprised of a group of friends who are getting together on a somebody's deck to sample craft beers (it is Craft Beer Week, after all) and food pairings.  (Schmauren and her friend were the creators.)  Each team of two is responsible for bringing a growler or a 6-pack and some tasty treats that pair well with their chosen beer.  Schmauren and I are bringing...wait, I can't spoil the surprise.  I'll tell you Monday!  But tonight we're doing some of our shopping and then hopefully eating a lovely dinner outside somewhere in the 'hood.  Then tomorrow I'll need to finally get some laundry done.  (It's been more than six weeks.  Seriously.)  And a mani/pedi at some point, too. 

And then Sunday...SUNDAY SUNDAY SUNDAY is the Lost Finale Extravaganza.  The party starts at 7 p.m. with a two hour recap show, then from 9 to 11:30 is the series finale.  How can I stand 2.5 hours of the drama?!  I will probably have a stroke, but it will be great.  And then I'll have to DVR Jimmy Kimmel Live: Aloha to Lost on at midnight.  Depending on the hangover I have, I'll maybe wait until evening to order some yummy celebratory food.  (Meaning if I'm hungover earlier, I may cave and order crap at noon.  You never know.  Though I'm going to try to pace myself with the beer tasting, and I think it'll help that I don't like hoppy beers!)

Last night I had a lovely, productive coffee date, stopped at the grocery store on the way home, then made a nice scallop, artichoke and tomato buttery sauce for my pasta.  There was a little texting with Mex, just to confirm that there is no news, of course, but I'm in a much better place for myself now.  (CoffeeDate had some good advice there, too.)  And then I caught up on The Office and 30 Rock, and how great was Matt Damon?!  I hope they keep him around for awhile.  I was just saying the LL really needs to have a boyfriend, if only for a little while, as this whole can't-get-a-man joke is getting tired.  (I feel the same way about Ted on How I Met Your Mother, by the way.)

In other news, as many of you are telling me to "marry Blackbeard," and I'm doing what I can, believe me, isn't it a cool coicidence that my favorite song on Band of Horses' new album is called "Blue Beard"?  Here's a live performance, though the vocals are tighter on the album version, if you're interested.




So now I'm just listening to the new LCD Soundsystem that everyone is talking about on the internets and pretending to do work.  I probably should get started on some real work, but waahhh.

Food plan:
B - Special K Berries, milk, coffee - 4
L - turkey & swiss, yogurt & blueberries - 6
D - TBD
S - string cheese, soup, granny bar? - 2-4
Total - 12-14 plus dinner
Activity - walking 3 miles

Happy weekend, lovers!

Slacking Off and What I Ate

Oops, I seem to have gone most of this week with only one legitimate post.  Well, I'm here to rectify the situation, never fear.

Let's see...Tuesday night I Skyped with Britch again for a bit, and caught up on a little DVR (though I'm still very behind), and then Wednesday I had a softball game after work.  Unfortunately it was our first loss of the season, BUT there were so many girls there that I didn't start, and only ended up playing one inning (as the ref called the game early so the 7:00 game could start).  Therefore, I don't take much blame for the loss, though I did mess up the one grounder to me.  I tried to trap it in my glove but it took a strange hop and jammed my finger instead.  Yay, my one shining moment of glory!  It was still a fun night, as I hung around for awhile afterwards, talking to the guys.  One of my friends is sort of going through his own tough relationship spot, though he's on the opposite end of a problem like mine, but it's good to talk about it.  And to have friends, right?  I have lovely friends.  Who put up with me very patiently.

Tonight I'm meeting Lillie's gf Erin for coffee after work.  (Shh, don't tell!  Juuuust kidding.)  We're going to discuss a project she's working on, and then I'm heading home and going to try to go another night without knowing what's going on with the Mex/keeping-the-baby situation, which is supposedly at a critical point this week.  I told myself I'm not initiating any contact now, as preparation for ceasing contact altogether, but it's REALLY HARD to not know what's going on.  At least, most of the time, when I don't distract myself.  I didn't respond to a text from him yesterday and now I'm starting to get an itchy trigger finger, but I'll hold on as long as I can.

Yikes, can't even talk about it.  Let's change the subject.  Blackbeard's getting friendlier, though I don't really feel the romance blossoming yet.  Though he does catch my eye a lot when we all eat lunch in the conference room...we're often thinking the same thing.  And this is ridiculous, but also a sign that we're soulmates:  Last week one of the partners at my firm was home sick, and sent an e-mail to let us know, mentioning that "those of you who saw my antics yesterday will understand."  I hadn't seen the antics, so I asked Blackbeard what was up with that, and he explained that the partner's nose was so dry from his cold that at one point he sneezed and blew blood all over the front of his shirt, and didn't have another to change into.  Ha!  And gross!  So this week, when the partner re-emerged at work, I said that I'd been filled in and I hoped he was feeling better.  Also, I carry a Tide To-Go pen with me at all times, if he should ever need to wash out blood again.  He said, "Yeah, so does [Blackbeard], but he wouldn't let me use it, since he didn't want to infect it with blood!"  In conclusion, both Blackbeard and I carry Tide To-Go pens, and thus we are meant to be.

I didn't get much exercise this week, I'll admit, but I did walk a bit yesterday with the softball travel, and frankly, I'm just trying to make it through each day.  BUT I'm still controlling my eating so my weight is fine.  Can I be one of those people who only exercises only 2-3 (ok, 1?) times a week but eats healthy and is therefore in shape, please?  Let's see.

Well, I hope you are all enjoying this beautiful Thursday.  Till tomorrow!

Food.
B - Special K Red Berries, milk, coffee - 4
L - turkey & swiss, yogurt with berries - 6
D - pasta with scallops and artichokes and sauce - 6ish?
S - string cheese, soup, grapes - 3
Total - 19

I'm a Montauk Monster and What I Ate

Welcome back, me!  And you!  Yes, I got back Sunday night, but I was in no mood for posting yesterday.  I'm sorry.  (Wow, that was grumpy.  Let me backtrack.)

The weekend was amazing!  I should have pictures uploaded to show you tomorrow, but until then, I'll give you the verbal (textual?) recap.  I took the Jitney on Friday at 5:30, and it was so easy compared to taking those stupid Bolt buses or whatever.  Also, you get a snack and a drink!  And you pay with a credit card once you're on board (though you reserve your spot online ahead of time.)  So the ride was smooth and fine, and we got to Montauk at about 8:30.  It was dark and cool and damply breezy in a good way, since I had to wander awhile before I found my motel.  (Once I actually found it, I felt like a dunce as it was very easy nearby, but their street signs are hard to spot as they're vertical posts in the ground, and so my map wasn't helping since I didn't know what street I was on.)  I checked in and the nice desk clerk went over the town map with me, circling places he recommended for eating, hanging out, hiking, etc.  Then I settled into my beachy motel room, took a long, Aveda-accessorized shower, and watched some Food Network before bed.

Saturday I woke up slowly, then walked the two short block's to Anthony's Pancake House.  This diner was across the street from John's Pancake House, and there is a big rivalry, but my trusty desk clerk had said he preferred Anthony's, so I stayed on that team.  I had a tomato, onion and feta omelette and lots of coffee, read my New York Magazine, and then headed back to the room to sunscreen up before heading out to find the trail head and hike Shadmoor State Park for awhile.  I saw lots of pretty butterflies and wandered on sandy trails in the brush, and little wooden bridges over streams, and then finally along the bluffs that overlooked the Atlantic Ocean as well as Ditch Plains beach, which is the main surfing beach in Montauk, though the waves weren't really tubular when I was observing.  Then I walked back through town to explore a bit more, and since it was the Montauk Music Festival weekend, there were bands playing in the town center's open space as well as in all of the bars and restaurants.  I wasn't actually hungry for lunch, so I meandered back to the motel, poking around in shops and in a little boutique on my way, where I tried on pretty summer dresses.  And some kids opened the dressing room curtain wide to show me to the store.  So back to the room for more sunscreen and to hop into my swimsuit, then I hit the beach (which was across the street from my motel) for some sunning and reading time.  At about 3, after many hours outdoors, I was sunned out, so I headed back to my room to write in my journal and then take a lovely nap. 

I woke up groggy around 6, then got myself cleaned up and went to Shagwong for dinner (as I'd checked out menus earlier on my walk.)  I ordered steamed mussels in white wine and a small house salad, plus two glasses of wine, and it was delicious and there was a nice mellow band playing to help set the mood.  After eating, I went next door to The Gig Shack for a "classic rock" band and a beer.  I sort of talked to a few people in my age range, but there were not many around (maybe four, total) and so I got bored after one beer, which was fine.  (Oh, and I'd been keeping up a texting conversation with the Drummer since Friday afternoon...but that seemed to finally dwindle on Saturday night.)  I sleepily walked back to my room and tucked myself in early for some Saturday Night Live and sleep.

Sunday I woke up bright and early again (which is 9 am, for me) and headed back to Anthony's, thinking I didn't want a big breakfast so that I could actually get lunch somewhere (which I wasn't hungry for on Saturday.)  I ended up just getting two eggs, sausage and cinnamon toast, which of course lasted me all day anyway.  Then I headed back to the beach with plans to stick it out for 3 hours, but only lasted nearly 2.  It was pretty hot in the sun, and I'd try to give myself a whore's bath in the ocean to cool off, but the ocean water was painfully cold, so I finally decided my little skin had enough sun and went back to the room to shower, pack up, and then relax for awhile before I caught the 3:15 bus back.

All in all, I got through some of my foggy thinking about my current Mex situation, and came to some helpful conclusions.  Of course, there was some drama yesterday (hence no post) when I got back so it all immediately blew up in my face, but I think I've regained that peace today.  I'm trying to, at least.

In other news, remember that guy with the girlfriend with whom I made out?  (You try to not end that sentence in a preposition!)  I did e-mail him the following Wednesday, like I'd promised, and it's been a few weeks now, so I figured he had gone the way of the dinosaur.  (What?  Did I make that expression up?)  Well, he e-mailed me last night, so I just read it this morning.  It's nice to hear back from him, and to hear some compliments and sweet nothings, I'll say that much.  Otherwise I have to make some decision about how to proceed, but whatever, I'm not responding immediately so I can just enjoy this feeling for today, right? 

Last night I Skyped with Britch for a very long time, and it did immense amounts of good for my mental health.  She pointed out some very clear problems with how I'm handling this situation (or at least, pointed them out in a way that finally made sense to me) and was able to help me shape my thinking about how to proceed.  I miss her constant counsel now that she's across the sea, but I do appreciate it greatly when we can find time to talk!  Also, she's in love.  Let's be happy for her!

Today is rainy and sleepy and boring at work, but I'm in a good mood and catching up on my personal correspondence.  I may hit the gym tonight, though I'm not very motivated at the moment -- it feels like I've been here for SO LONG and it's not even noon.

Food, which is finally getting back on a healthy track, I hope.  I've eaten sugar-free brown sugar and cinnamon oatmeal with berries and fat free half&half for dinner the past two nights in a row.  Weird:
B - Special K Red Berries, coffee, milk - 4
L - turkey & swiss, yogurt with berries - 6
D - sun dried tomato & chicken brat, salad with feta (and new exciting TJ's salad dressing) - 6
S - orange if it's edible, string cheese - 2
Total - 18 (I'll add some somewhere.)
Weight - 140 lbs.  Gotta work on those last few pounds, though I feel good right now so I'm not stressing too much. 

Your Life, Little Girl, Is An Empty Page...and What I Ate

It's finally FRIIIIIDAY.  And a pretty good one at that.  I have just the right amount of work to do to keep me busy, but I had time to go eat outside at Duke's with a co-worker and get a pulled pork sandwich (though I saved half to eat on the bus tonight.  My seatmate, one of the Real Housewives, will LOVE that.)  It's warm and sunny and sort of muggy in Manhattan, but it'll be slightly cooler and much breezier come 9 pm.  I'm READY TO GO.  I even called the hotel to make sure that I check in at the actual building where I'm staying (as opposed to the main resort) and she made a note of when I'm arriving.  I feel very welcomed already.

Last night's dinner at Schmillie's was amazing as well.  (I think starting yesterday, I'm going to have a five-day food fest of my own.)  She made the best roasted chicken I've ever had, super cheesy and delicious risotta, a a great salad and green beans with cranberries and walnuts, which were fantastic and a combo I'd never had.  Then we had Schmate's magic cookie bars (no, there were no drugs in them) for dessert, and I rolled home.  I was in bed around midnight, but couldn't sleep until about 1 am, though I didn't take a sleeping pill and then slept through the night, so I was pleased about that.  I'm sleepy today as I usually need more than 7 hours of sleep, but I have all weekend to recover.  I can even nap on the bus.

Did you know that Montauk has its own monsters?  I guess two of their carcasses have washed up on the beaches in recent years.  I haven't found anything about live sightings, but I'll keep my camera handy.

Well, I have a one-track mind today (ohhkay, two tracks, but one new exciting track) so I don't have much else to discuss, but I wanted to check in.  I'll report back on Monday, and hey, maybe I'll be zen by then.  (Will I ever be zen?  Doubtful.)

Food:
B - honey o's, coffee, milk
L - half of a pulled pork sandwich, sweet potato fries, pickles
D - samesies
S - banana? orange?  (orange you glad I didn't say banana?)
Total - Mmmm.

Early Bird and What I Ate

I'm quite proud of myself for posting this BEFORE LUNCH.  Thankfully work is quiet today (I just jinxed myself) so I can catch up on corresponding, blogging, and some freelance proposal editing project.  And it's sunny outside, finally!  Today is much brighter in all senses of the word. 

Can someone explain to me how playing softball makes my thighs sore, especially the inner thighs?  I must be doing deep lunges when I run the bases or something.  I'm not exactly complaining, because in my mind, slightly sore = good muscle working, but I just don't understand which movements are causing it. 

Last night I met up with Shmammi for an early dinner at a cute Turkish place on 57th, and we got nice and caught up.  Then I was home by 7 to watch Glee on DVR, then some Top Model while I packed for the weekend trip (more on that below).  I have to say, once I learned who the final two contestants were, I stopped caring.  I didn't really like any of them this season.  Then I met Mex at Dunkin Donuts to exchange a book I read about coping with all this (called After the Affair, so serious and self-helpy) that he wants to read with movies he'd borrowed from me.  He also had a thank-you note from his sister to me for the gift I gave their baby.  (Ohh, reading about how the baby sleeps with the stuffed bunny every night just killed me.)  We talked for awhile, and it was very sad, but also somehow therapeutic for me.  Yes, shake your head at me if you'd like, but he said some things that I'd been wanting to hear, sort of some acknowledgement of what this has done to me. The focus has been on the baby scare for so long and he's not a great communicator of feelings, but he was better last night.  It's important to me that he knows what he messed up.  That might be wrong or sad, but that's what it is.  Anyway, it's not like I'm going to see him often if at all, but today I feel like it was a beneficial step.

Enough of that.  Tonight I'm happily heading to Schmillie's for a Muncher gathering, and she's going to feed us very well from the sound of things, with roast chicken, risotto, veggies, etc.  It'll be great to get us all together again -- I think for the first time since Meatballin'.  Then tomorrow after work I'm taking the Hampton Jitney (like they do on the Real Housewives!) to Montauk, NY, on the tip of Long Island.  I wanted to take myself away on a trip to clear my head, and this is where I landed.  I'll sit on the beach, hike, read, explore, etc., and hopefully get to a better place mentally.  Lately I feel like while I'm making some improvements, I'm stuck in a mental loop, going back to the same terrible thoughts.  I need some forward momentum, so that's the plan.  And some spoiling myself time, too.  I was going to stay at a cute little inn, but they were all booked, so I splurged on this place.  I'm staying at the "Beach," the outlying building that's nearer to the, ahem, beach, but I'll have access to the main resort and the pool and hammocks and stuff.  It's supposed to be sunny and in the 60s each day, so I'm not sure how much swimming I'll get in, but that may be warm enough for a heated pool.  What do you think?

So that's the weekend plan, and I am very excited.  Maybe I'll meet a surfer and stay out there and open a fish shack.  That doesn't sound too bad, does it?

Food stuff:
B - honey o's, coffee, cereal - 4
L - half of a doner kebab gyro - ?
D - Munching - ?
S - soup, string cheese - 2
Total - Plenty and some extra.

Boys, Bands, Beer, Burritos, Ballin'

I swear I'm still alive.  It's just getting more difficult to find time to post, as I'm so busy and important at work now!  But, gd it, I'm making time.  There is so much to tell.  (Oh, and I'm kidding about being important.  BUT there is more talk of that promotion, so that's good news.)

So I'll try to abbreviate the past few days.  STARTING with last Thursday (yikes.)  After walking home from work with Schmauren, we decided to get Mexican and margaritas for a late Cinco celebration.  (Margs are only $3 during happy hour at a neighborhood place.  Ohhh yeah.)  Then we hit up a friend of a friend (of a friend?)'s birthday party at Break on Broadway in Astoria, which is a great big pool hall.  It was a party full of park rangers, but I immediately jumped onto the pool table, as I have missed it so.  I managed to pick up an older lesbian park ranger (is there any other type) with my mad skillz, but then Schmauren and I ran away before things got too weird.  (And Schmauren was tired of pretending to be my girlfriend to help me block my pursuer.)  Also, I was afraid of getting stuck with the entire pool tab for everyone who'd played...so yeah, not my classiest moment, but what can I say.  Those margaritas were strong.  So home, pass out, get up for work and on the train I actually nearly pass out for real.  A very nice gentleman gave me his seat and a barf bag when I tapped his shoulder, swaying and mumbling something incoherent.  I made it off the train to sit on a bench on the Grand Central platform, then finally up to my desk.  I attempted to "work" (read: sit at my desk and stare) for an hour but then with the encouragement of a co-worker (and a few "you don't look so good"'s) I went home sick.  And then to bed.  I swear, tequila is my salvation and damnation, all in one.

So Friday was a bust, as I just laid around, napping and watching things.  And I did finally cook some Trader Joe's Masala Simmer Sauce (with chicken, onion and peppers) for dinner, plus basmati rice.  It is pretty yummy, but didn't quite fill my craving for some sweet, sweet Chicken Tikka Masala.  It's not creamy enough, but next time I'll mix it with milk instead of water.  It is healthier, however!

Saturday I felt normal again (well, relatively), and was up for some nice coffee-and-tv-with-roomie time in the morning, then off to the library, the bread store (Arnold's Sandwich Thins were 3 for $4 at the Entemann's outlet!), and then the nail salon for a mani/pedi, and I splurged on a 10-minute massage.  It was all very lovely and relaxing.  Home for a healthy lunch and quick rest, then off to Schmauren's to help her decorate some cupcakes to look like they had bagels, lox, cream cheese and scallions on top.  (It was all candy and sweets, I swear.)

We packed them up, grabbed a slice on the way to the train, then headed to Brooklyn in the windstorm to Pete's Candy Store.  Schmauren's been friends with a band, The Cassevettes, since college, and now I've met them many times so I think I'm friends with them, too.  They were playing and it was the drummer's birthday, so we went to hang out, heckle them while onstage, and stuff them with cupcakes.  It was very fun, and even Schmillie and her lover showed up for awhile.  I may have also made some sort of flirtation connection with said drummer, who was very complimentary (telling me how great I look, etc.) and got my phone number for when he comes back from Boston next.  We shall see, but it was a fun show.  Then the gang (the band and Shmauren and I, the not-really groupies) all piled into the band van to go to a loft party nearby.  (Yes, I sat on drummer's lap, and there was only some chaste arm on back rubbing/hand holding stuff.  Very adorable.)  The party was fine if a little odd (in the Brooklyn tries very hard sometimes kind of way), but when we went back to the van after like 30 minutes, it had been busted into and the bass and drum kick pedals had been stolen.  And when the cops showed up (one was Michelle Rodriguez, I swear), they were less than sympathetic, asking why anyone would park there with valuables in the car.  Yes, OK, point taken, but that doesn't mean you can't be nice about it. 

So Schmauren and I left them to head home (after I put garbage cardboard into the broken window hole...I was trying to help!  But it was weird, I admit.)  Midway home, we texted a friend in Manhattan (and Schmauren's once-upon-a-time lover) and decided to reroute to meet up with him and his friend.  More beers, more inappropriate stories, and some birds singing and sun rising later, I took a cab home to sleep away half of Sunday.  Then it was more movies, tv, maxin' and relaxin'.  And nice texting with drummer. 

Monday night I played softball for Hachette's team, as they needed a third lady (who doesn't?), and it was on Roosevelt Island so I walked from home and back, and it was quite pretty to play next to the river.  Plus they were all very nice and some were a bit cute.  Last night was my normal team's game, and we WON, 14-3 I think.  It was fantastic, and I scored twice (it's been awhile...literally and euphemistically), and I got three people out (two catches, one tag), and whee!  I did manage to skin/bruise my knee, but it's not as bad as some years.  Though it's only the second game.  Then home IN TIME FOR LOST, miracle of miracles!  Which was weird and I missed our regular cast friends, but this is already too long to get into that.

I weighed myself yesterday morning and it was about 139, so not much change but I feel good with that.  I've behaved with food well this week, and the weekend wasn't too terrible, just some Mexican on Thursday night and Sunday.  And all that beer.  Tonight I'm having an early summer with a friend at a Turkish restaurant, but I am going to go lighter if I can, too.  But that means I don't know my points really, but I may as well stick to the habit of...

Food.

B - Honey O's, milk, coffee - 4

L - turkey sandwich, yogurt with berries - 6

D - Turkish sandwich (haha) - TBD

S - string cheese, soup? orange? - 3ish

Total - Enough.

Two-fer-Thursday and What I Ate

Sadly I had so much work to do again yesterday that I didn't get to post, so this is a BOGO for you.  Work's going very well, though, and I've been told I'm getting promoted in the near future.  I believe some of the exact words were "We want to keep you here and keep you happy, so we'll do what it takes."  Yay, one aspect of my life is actually improving! 

Otherwise yesterday was pretty uneventful.  Oh, let's go back earlier.  I didn't have to pitch at my softball game on Tuesday because they had another girl ringer who pitches in another league already and is awesome, so thankfully I was back on 2nd base, where I feel at home.  (Oh, and the rain cleared up by 7 pm.)  It was actually a lot of fun and good to see the guys again, so I'm now back on the horse and looking forward to games.  OH RIGHT, and we won.  And we have new matchy team t-shirts!  But then I got home too late for Lost and I STILL haven't watched it online.  Maybe tonight!  I am in suspense!

Then yesterday was, like I said, busy at work then mellow at home.  I was supposed to be there at 6 pm to let in some architect permit guy for my landlord, but I waited until 6:45 and texted the landlord to ask what was the deal, and he said "Oh, they don't need to get in.  I just found out."  Yeah right.  But I guess it was nice to have a couch night and catch up on DVR.  Glee!  Chopped!  Oh, then I talked to Mex again, because the Tuesday night convo was frustrating (he's "tired all the time" and sometimes talking is like pulling teeth and then I get angry because why the eff am I dealing with this again?) but so he wanted to think about some of what I'd said and talk last night.  So it was better, and now we're going to talk less again, especially since there is apparently a heartbeat and a real baby (I still find this so hard to believe with all the reasons there wouldn't be, but...) and I only get upset when I talk to him and think about it, so I'd rather escape, thanks.

Oh, I also e-mailed the make-out boy from last weekend, yesterday afternoon.  It's very fun to feel that old familiar excitement, wondering if he'll respond, does he like me, blah blah blah.  Don't worry, I'm not too invested in this, but it's just a good distraction.  It's like training wheels a bit, in a safe zone.  Oh, and I clearly know it's not the best situation, but I'm just seeing if he'll respond to my e-mail right now.  Calm down, people.

So tonight I may Skype with Britch if her gd internet gets fixed, and I'm considering walking home though it might be indecent with my short dress, so maybe I'll hit the gym.  I also need a manicure and pedicure BAD, so maybe tonight or tomorrow I'll do that if no plans materialize.  Oh shoot, and I have overdue library books. 

Food mood:
B - Honey B's, milk, coffee - 4
L - sandwich, yogurt with strawberries - 6
D - TJ's Sun-Dried Tomato Chicken Sausage, salad - 6
S - orange, soup?, string cheese - 4
Total - 20
Weight, Tuesday morning - 139 lbs.  (The scale moved depending on which way I shifted my feet, so I'm going with the medium answer -- 130s BABY!)

True Confessions and What I Ate

Hello, darlings.  I apologize for my absence yesterday, but I actually had work to do and the day got away from me.  How were our weekends?  Mine was lovely.

Friday night I celebrated the spring weather by hitting the new beer garden with some girlfriends, including Schmauren and her friend, Thigh Sighs, who felt like my long-lost cousin or something.  It was a great time, with good bratwurst, beer, and indecent storytelling.  We then tried to hit up Sunswick for some possible second wind action, but we all had hit a really big wall and scuttled home to our beds after one beer.  I have to say, there's nothing like a great night out and still being home around midnight (I think).  Of course, then I woke up at 9 am and couldn't sleep in, so that part wasn't so great.  I met up with Schmauren on Saturday morning for a classy Dunkin' Donuts "brunch," then we hit up the discount clothing store across the street on Broadway in Astoria.  Where I bought city shorts, yes I did.  We'll see how they go...  I also bought cute new black strappy flat sandals, so bring it on, summer.  Then we headed back to mine to get picked up by Schmate and we all headed to the Queenz Trader Joe's for major stocking up.  (Like it was 1941, to borrow Schmate's joke, making fun of me.)  Once all unpacked and home, I placed my new begonia in my bedroom windowsill (life! beauty! exists!) and stretched out for a nap.

After napping and making myself a delicious and nutritious dinner of whole wheat penna with basil tomato sauce, seared scallops and artichoke hearts, I met back up with Schmauren to hit the town proper.  We headed to the West Village, and started out with a beer at Wilfie & Nell, which is owned by the same people who own my favorite Astoria jam, Sweet Afton.  It was a bit crowded, loud and sweaty in there, so we headed back down West 4th to a more reasonably roomy bar we'd passed (and I've liked before,) The Slaughtered Lamb (or the Slaughterhouse, as Lillie liked to call it.)  We had stools and a table and plenty of Shocktop.  And then Lillie came to meet us from a previous party, and began really man-hunting for us.  Her method of choice was to point at someone and yell, "Come over here!"  It was very effective.  We eventually made friends with a group of five guys were were having a sort of mini-college reunion and doing a bar crawl in the Village. 

There was one who I immediately focused on, and we had a very amazing vibe going.  He is bearded and dark-haired and blue-eyed and shorter than I'm used to but still taller than me.  And then he tells me that he hopes he's not out of line, but I should know that he has a girlfriend, and he was telling me because he thought we had something going there.  I said we did, you're right, but I'm glad you mentioned it.  Then he asked me to make out with him down the street a bit.  I hesitated!  I really did!  I even gave him a skeptical look.  Then I didn't care.  And, dear reader, it was that heady, high school, sneaking around at parties feeling all night, and it was so great.  We made out on side streets, in bathroom stalls, in an empty karaoke room.  Obviously my rational, moral mind knows it's not the best idea to be the other woman, but frankly, I don't care right now.  I had one night of NOT thinking about the ridiculous Jerry Springer show that somehow intruded on my life, and I loved it.  Plus he was affectionate and flirtatious (things I'm not entirely used to) and we talked a lot, too (about how he's on a short leash and she's pressuring him to get married, and my whole dramz, too.)  So daydream fodder, for sure.  But he wants me to e-mail him, and I want to.  And that's it for now.  I confess.

Yes, and Schmauren hung out like a rock star, and I am in her debt.  We took a cab home at 6 am, people.  The sun was coming up.  So Sunday was about sleeping, enchiladas, movies, and sweating.  That's really it. 

Tonight I'm supposed to have another softball game, though the forecast says maybe there's a thunderstorm coming--but the sky is blue now.  I may as well bite the bullet and play a game, right?  I think I'll be more into it once I really start playing, as opposed to dreading it.  I'm also supposed to talk to Mex because after not talking over the weekend, we spoke yesterday (as she had a doc appt and I wanted news) but of course, they  moved her doc appt to Wednesday (because it's a FAKE BABY, OBVIOUSLY), but whatever, I'm angry and he was tired and asked if we could talk today.  So maybe I will, but I'm still just angry and I hate it.  I mean, I guess it's better than sad, but I am full of rage and can't do anything about it.  Other than make out with other people's boyfriends, yes? :)  Just kidding, I know that's terrible.

Anyway!  Oh, my boss complimented me this morning, asking if I've lost weight and saying I look great.  And also, there are plans in the works to get me off of receptionist duty at work and move me up the ladder.  So things in my career world are looking good!  And I guess health world, other than the smoking that's back.  I need to weigh myself, but forgot this morning, so hopefully tomorrow.

Food.

B - honey bunches with PEACHES, coffee, milk - 4

L - herbed turkey & light swiss sammy, yogurt with peaches and strawberries - 6

D - artichoke ravioli with tomato sauce, salad - 8

S - orange, soup, granny bar? - 4

Total - 22 (hopefully will get some activity points with softball...if not, I won't eat as many snacks)

Meatballz, Take 3 and What I Ate

Well, tonight is the third attempt for a Muncher Meatball fest.  The first time we tried to go, the wait was too long.  The second time, we had a cancellation of one of our members, so let's hope in the name of ALL THAT IS HOLY that the third time will be the charm.  It's a beautiful day, and I need nothing more than to get silly and stuff my face with friends, so hopefully I'm not jinxing it!

Yeah, last night I got the news from Mex that they found a heartbeat, though the doc wasn't there, just the lab tech.  So I'm stepping away from that whole situation.  It's clear to me that something's really fishy, and I'm pretty sure he's getting trapped, but it's up to him to extricate himself.  I'm going to look forward to a fun summer and better KISSING BOY stories for you, dear readers.

I did hear back from that old lover, and sadly, he's not available to rebound me right now, as he's got himself a ladyfriend.  The e-mail was very flattering, however, so it was the nicest "rejection" I've ever gotten.  I'll have to think of another trip to take to clear my head, though it may have less reunion lovin'.  That's OK, too.

So I have no work to do at the moment, so I think it's freelance time.  I'm also listening to Glee songs on YouTube over and over, so that's a recipe for a good mood!  (And gayness.) 



Try it.  You'll like it.

Ok, food plan, as pointless as it is today:
B - Honey B's, milk, coffee, string cheese - 5
L - sammy, yogurt, peaches - 6
D - BALLZ and ice cream sandwich deliciousness
S - hopes and dreams
Activity - body-checking other restaurant patrons out of the way to get myself a table

Please, Stop the Music and What I Ate

I am near the breaking point today with all sorts of drama that I didn't cause, so excuse my very short and boring post.  Basically the "other woman" found me on Facebook and sent me an apology e-mail this morning with her side of the story, and some things were enlightening.  When confronted, Mex said he should've told me all of it but thought he told me the important stuff.  I said lots of things I should've said earlier, as I'm showing him more of my anger.  (Like, "You're disgusting.)  So we're going to talk tonight to see if there's actually a baby (which I doubt), and we'll see how that goes.  Then I need to step away. 

So yeah!  Great day!  At least work has been nice because I've had to run random errands which get me out of the office and make the time go faster.  And now I don't have any projects so I'm going to work on my freelance stuff a bit, so yay, double cash.

I also learned that the kickball and dodgeball league I used to play for in Manhattan now has a Queens kickball offshoot, and they play on a field very near to my apartment.  I think I'll sign up for this summer, as it should be a good outdoor activity and a great way to meet new people (read: boys.) 

I e-mailed the long-lost lover last night about a possible Florida rendezvous, so I will keep you posted if he responds.  I know he's not on Facebook very often, but hopefully he'll still get the memo, as it were.

So tonight I think instead of Shredding, I'm going to Skype with Britch.  I think my mental health should take some priority over my rocking body today.  I already felt a lot better after talking to her last night, in part due to her medical expertise that supports my made-up beliefs, and also just because she makes me feel less crazy. 

Anyway, food today:
B - honey bunches, coffee, milk - 4
L - sammy, yogurt with peach slices - 6
D - ww pasta with sauce, salad - 6-8?
S - orange, soup - 2
Total - 18-20 (I may add an after-work string cheese if needed.)
Activity - mental breakdown

I Loved David the Gnome and What I Ate

Well, it's supposedly the first softball game of the season at 7:00 pm tonight.  It's been really rainy the past few days, however, so of course I'm hoping the fields are too wet to play. :)  I'm scared to pitch!  At least it sounds like we'll have some practice time on the field before the game starts, so they can see if I'm worthy.  Unfortunately, the sun just came out a little bit ago, so that might mean game on.

Last night I hit the gym and rode 9 miles/45 minutes on the bike.  It felt like a good workout, helped along by the steamy heat inside my gym -- I sweat like I was exercising in a sauna, and I am not usually a heavy sweater. (Ha.)  Then it was home for dinner making, tv, reading, a quick chat with Mex, etc.  All in all, an uneventful but decent evening.

Ready for the gnome story?  This comes courtesy of my mother's church friend, and is about her co-worker and the co-worker's son.  Got it?  So this co-worker woman has a young teenaged son who is home during the day and is also autistic.  He obviously can be by himself, but isn't always the quickest on processing life situations.  One day he calls his mother at work four times in a row, upset.  Once she gets a chance to call him back, she's concerned, asking him if there is an emergency.  He says, "Mom, there's a gnome in the house!  A gnome!"  The mom can't get anymore information out of him, so she finally asks her boss if she can leave early to head home and figure out what's going on.

She arrives at he her house only to discover that a census taker had apparently come to their door -- a midget census taker.  The son had never seen a midget before, but knew gnomes from his stories.  He proceeded to pick up the "gnome" and shove him into the hallway closet, then lock him in safely.  The gnome, fortunately, realized that this boy didn't quite have all of his mental faculties, so was trying to talk calmly to him through the door.  "Please let me out.  If you keep me in here for long, I'll get hungry.  And then if I don't eat, I'll get sick!"  So what was our enterprising young hero to do?  Simple -- he found the gnome-friendly jelly beans in his Easter basket and began to slip them under the crack in the closet door, one by one.  And this is the scene that his mother walked in on.  It really happened.  Too bad the local news couldn't pick it up, as the family was concerned about publicizing the information that their vulnerable son would be at home alone during the day.  Who knows what garden creature would stop by next?

Well, in other joyous news, I just found out that my softball game has been cancelled!  I'm sure the fields were too wet to play on, and I am excited.  I think I'll walk home OR do the Jillian Michaels' shred -- to be determined.

I finally was able to connect with Britch, at least over G-chat just now, and I feel loads better.  (Ew, that's kind of a gross expression...)  And I appreciate your commented apology, lady.  Anyway, I am much more settled in my head now, and instead of panicking about whatever happens tomorrow, I'm pretty sure I'll deal with it either way.  My other mental escape at the moment is considering a trip to Florida to visit an old lover -- it might be nice to get in some beach, some margaritas, and some potential making out, right?  What better healing step could I possibly take? :)  Anyway, it's under consideration.

Well, foooood.
B - Honey Bunches with Strawberries, milk, coffee, string cheese - 5
L - chicken & cheese sammy, yogurt with peach slices - 6
D - artichoke lasagne, salad - 6
S - soup, orange - 3
Total - 20
Activity - walking home or shredding

OH OH OH and official weight this morning - 140 lbs.  NEARLY 130s.  I think my lowest of my adult life is 136...so we're getting closer.

Keep On Keepin' On and What I Ate

Rain remix!  I actually didn't mind a rainy Sunday, and don't hate a rainy Monday, either.  It fits the mood and enables me to further curl up into myself, you know?  We had a lovely Saturday here, though, so don't worry, I did get out in the sun.  My back is still burned!

From the top:  Friday I just went home, happy that I had some beers and good company the night before, so I kept it low-key.  I caught up on DVR, I ordered very healthy Chinese food (I am an ascetic now, apparently) -- steamed shrimp dumplings and sauteed vegetables with brown rice.  I ate half of each, saving the other half for later in the weekend.  Then I took a long bath and started reading The Help by Kathryn Stockett, which everyone in the world is also apparently reading.  Based on the premise, I thought it might be a little hokey for me, but I really got into it.  It has three different narrators, and I liked one of them especially (Skeeter, if you've read it), but all were enjoyable.  It also helped to read so much at once, as I ended up burning through about 200 pages on Friday tucked up in bed after my bath.  Finally bed, without the aid of a sleeping pill.

Saturday I woke too early for my taste, but watched some TV and made Low-Fat Nutrigrain Eggos and bummed around, then went to the Socrates Sculpture Park in Astoria with Mex.  We sat on a beachtowel, ate a very basic picnic, tried to read but mostly got distracted by all the playing puppies.  I also sunned myself while he tried to keep his half of the towel in the shade.  Don't worry, we didn't touch or anything.  But for real, I've seen him once a week now since the nuclear bomb, and it's what I want to do.  I miss his companionship and it's nice to be able to talk about what I'm feeling with someone who understands more than anyone else, even if he caused it.  This may all go away after Wednesday, aka No-Baby Day (Cross Your Fingers), but I'm taking each third of my waking hours as they come.  Anyway, after the park I went back home to shower and get ready to meet up with Scmillie and her lady for Hot Tub Time Machine.  Obviously it's a screwball comedy, but I'd heard it was hilarious and it seemed like just the right tone for the weekend.  Sadly, I found it really uneven -- parts were very funny but then other parts were kind of boring.  Oh well, it was a good distraction and it was nice to get out and hang with friends!  After the movie, Ax met us up and we ate at Republic.  Then it was back to Astoria around 10:30 pm, and Ax and I debated getting a beer before recognizing that we were both very tired and should do it another time.  So I climbed back in my cozy bed and finished The Help by about 1:30 am.  Oh, I'd found out my softball scrimmage in the morning (which was originally why we picked such sedate evening plans) had been cancelled due to forecasted rain.  So I stayed up late.

Sunday I slept "in" till nearly 10:00 (I've lost this power, apparently), then lazed around in the gloomy day, watching my Netflix movies and being sad for awhile.  It didn't help that the movies were so boring -- Snow Falling on Cedars was too arty and pretty and there was not enough dialogue, and The Other Boleyn Girl was also boring and better covered in The Tudors, plus there was an incest scene that freaked me out.  Fail.  Anyway, then Britch stood me up for our afternoon Skype date, then I went grocery shopping (to a store near me that I don't frequent as often, though apparently I should, as it was full of cute hipster boys!)  Then I cleaned my room and talked to my mom, which actually cheered me up considerably (and I was surprised at that.)  She relayed a story about a gnome that I will tell you at a later date, too.  Then I settled in to watch Mystic Pizza on TV while also starting a new historical novel (which will be a guilty pleasure, I can tell) and have a quick phone chat with Mex.

It was a good weekend, well-rounded and well-behaved.  The pounds are coming off quite quickly recently with my monkish lifestyle, though I'm sure I'll go up and down a bit depending on my social activities.  Still, I should be nearing the 130s now, just in time for swimsuit wearing.

Today is another sleepy one, but tomorrow night is our first real softball game of the season and I'm excited and nervous.  I should try to make it to the gym when I get home tonight, though we shall see how my motivation holds up.  Mex is also going to give me the nine beers that have been sitting in his fridge for a week (as he's stopped drinking, and hopefully it sticks), so they don't go to waste, and I think that handoff is tonight.  Not that I'll be crushing the Buds, but we have to arrange the custody change.  And I'm sort of alternately really optimistic and really angry about circumstances, but after Wednesday I'll at least have a better idea of what's to come.  Then I can figure out what I'm going to do to move on.

Well FOOD:
B - Strawberry Yogurt O's, milk, coffee - 5
L - chicken & muenster sammy, yogurt with strawberries - 6
D - creamy artichoke lasagna, salad - 6
S - string cheese, soup, orange - 3
Total - 20
 

Fridaze and What I Ate

It's almost the weekend again!  Oh, sometimes I get sad that I am "working for the weekend," like the song says.  But it seems in order to enjoy one's life outside of work, one must sit at a desk.  Unless one is following your dreams or some other hippy dippy unrealistic thing.  (I'm very jealous, in that case.)

Last night I had lovely back patio drinks with Schmillie.  (No, that's not a euphemism.)  The pizza was free, the rain held off, and it didn't get crowded.  It was good to get her perspective on many things (as usual), and then it was home for bedtime.  I did talk to Mex, as I didn't have enough willpower to go all day without.  Still, it was less communication than the day before, etc.  While I know I need some space, I'm having a hard time taking it right now while I know he's still taking her calls.  It's not fair.  She gets attention because she's crazy and unsafe and knocked up, and I don't because I am relatively sane?  (Though he says he mostly answers the phone and she rants for awhile and he tunes out and that's it.  It's like he's trying to do penance, or do the right thing, by fulfilling his obligation to see her through this, but what's really happening is she's just walking all over him and growing more attached.  Ridic.)  So whatever, I am being rather impulsive with these things, but I'm making it through my days.  There was more talk about her doc visit and how it may be a real baby, which made me nervous, so I did some internet research today to calm me down.  Surprisingly, it worked.  And if she is, life will go on. 

I've still been taking one sleeping pill before bed to help me fall asleep and stay asleep, but this morning I woke up at 6 am and laid there for awhile, mind a-spinning.  It's so irritating!  Maybe this time I should blame the beer, though I wasn't drunk when I went to bed.  It's just frustrating.  I really want to get one of those sleep masks to block more sunlight, too.  Maybe my local drug store will sell some?  I don't need a fancy blingy one, for pete's sake.  Or I could just tie a bandana around my face like I'm playing Pin the Tail on the Donkey while sleeping.  But I may end up choking myself in the middle of the night.

This one is terrible.

Anyway, tonight's plan is very calm, which sounds lovely.  I won't be walking home in this gorgeous weather, as apparently my Shredding with Jillian Michael's has given me the 2-day burn (and no, that's not something I was tested for at the doctor.)  My thigh muscles are killing me and I am hobbling around like Estelle Getty.

I have to catch up on some DVR (Top Chef Masters, Project Runway Finale, Chopped) and I also have Snow Falling on Cedars and The Other Boleyn Girl home from Netflix.  Both seem like moody period pieces, and I'm interested in SFoC because I read the book recently, so I'm curious how it comes across on film.  AND Ethan Hawke is in it.  Oh yeah.

Hey, he kind of looks like that teen I kissed there!  Nice.  So it should be a good quiet evening at home.  Tomorrow night I am finally going to see Hot Tub Time Machine with Schmillie and her lady, and possibly have an Ax reunion, too.  Then supper afterwards, then earlyish to bed, as I have a softball scrimmage at 10:30 on Sunday morning.  (This is lame and cruel, obviously.  Who wants to get up at 9:00 on a Sunday?)

Well, food today wasn't quite spot on, but it's a Friday.

B - TJ's Strawberry Yogurt O's, coffee, less milk than usual - 3

L - Curried Chicken Salad wrap, Baked Lays - ?

D - Either Chicken Meatloaf and salad or something yummy delivered, like steamed shrimp dumplings - ?

S - cigarettes

Total - ? but could be worse

Happy weekend!