But they are $200 Canadian dollars, or $199.16 American. I never spend that much on shoes, and these actually look like they might hurt the back of my heel. Nerds.
Thursday, April 29, 2010
Meatballz, Take 3 and What I Ate
Well, tonight is the third attempt for a Muncher Meatball fest. The first time we tried to go, the wait was too long. The second time, we had a cancellation of one of our members, so let's hope in the name of ALL THAT IS HOLY that the third time will be the charm. It's a beautiful day, and I need nothing more than to get silly and stuff my face with friends, so hopefully I'm not jinxing it!
Yeah, last night I got the news from Mex that they found a heartbeat, though the doc wasn't there, just the lab tech. So I'm stepping away from that whole situation. It's clear to me that something's really fishy, and I'm pretty sure he's getting trapped, but it's up to him to extricate himself. I'm going to look forward to a fun summer and better KISSING BOY stories for you, dear readers.
I did hear back from that old lover, and sadly, he's not available to rebound me right now, as he's got himself a ladyfriend. The e-mail was very flattering, however, so it was the nicest "rejection" I've ever gotten. I'll have to think of another trip to take to clear my head, though it may have less reunion lovin'. That's OK, too.
So I have no work to do at the moment, so I think it's freelance time. I'm also listening to Glee songs on YouTube over and over, so that's a recipe for a good mood! (And gayness.)
Try it. You'll like it.
Ok, food plan, as pointless as it is today:
B - Honey B's, milk, coffee, string cheese - 5
L - sammy, yogurt, peaches - 6
D - BALLZ and ice cream sandwich deliciousness
S - hopes and dreams
Activity - body-checking other restaurant patrons out of the way to get myself a table
Yeah, last night I got the news from Mex that they found a heartbeat, though the doc wasn't there, just the lab tech. So I'm stepping away from that whole situation. It's clear to me that something's really fishy, and I'm pretty sure he's getting trapped, but it's up to him to extricate himself. I'm going to look forward to a fun summer and better KISSING BOY stories for you, dear readers.
I did hear back from that old lover, and sadly, he's not available to rebound me right now, as he's got himself a ladyfriend. The e-mail was very flattering, however, so it was the nicest "rejection" I've ever gotten. I'll have to think of another trip to take to clear my head, though it may have less reunion lovin'. That's OK, too.
So I have no work to do at the moment, so I think it's freelance time. I'm also listening to Glee songs on YouTube over and over, so that's a recipe for a good mood! (And gayness.)
Try it. You'll like it.
Ok, food plan, as pointless as it is today:
B - Honey B's, milk, coffee, string cheese - 5
L - sammy, yogurt, peaches - 6
D - BALLZ and ice cream sandwich deliciousness
S - hopes and dreams
Activity - body-checking other restaurant patrons out of the way to get myself a table
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
Please, Stop the Music and What I Ate
I am near the breaking point today with all sorts of drama that I didn't cause, so excuse my very short and boring post. Basically the "other woman" found me on Facebook and sent me an apology e-mail this morning with her side of the story, and some things were enlightening. When confronted, Mex said he should've told me all of it but thought he told me the important stuff. I said lots of things I should've said earlier, as I'm showing him more of my anger. (Like, "You're disgusting.) So we're going to talk tonight to see if there's actually a baby (which I doubt), and we'll see how that goes. Then I need to step away.
So yeah! Great day! At least work has been nice because I've had to run random errands which get me out of the office and make the time go faster. And now I don't have any projects so I'm going to work on my freelance stuff a bit, so yay, double cash.
I also learned that the kickball and dodgeball league I used to play for in Manhattan now has a Queens kickball offshoot, and they play on a field very near to my apartment. I think I'll sign up for this summer, as it should be a good outdoor activity and a great way to meet new people (read: boys.)
I e-mailed the long-lost lover last night about a possible Florida rendezvous, so I will keep you posted if he responds. I know he's not on Facebook very often, but hopefully he'll still get the memo, as it were.
So tonight I think instead of Shredding, I'm going to Skype with Britch. I think my mental health should take some priority over my rocking body today. I already felt a lot better after talking to her last night, in part due to her medical expertise that supports my made-up beliefs, and also just because she makes me feel less crazy.
Anyway, food today:
B - honey bunches, coffee, milk - 4
L - sammy, yogurt with peach slices - 6
D - ww pasta with sauce, salad - 6-8?
S - orange, soup - 2
Total - 18-20 (I may add an after-work string cheese if needed.)
Activity - mental breakdown
So yeah! Great day! At least work has been nice because I've had to run random errands which get me out of the office and make the time go faster. And now I don't have any projects so I'm going to work on my freelance stuff a bit, so yay, double cash.
I also learned that the kickball and dodgeball league I used to play for in Manhattan now has a Queens kickball offshoot, and they play on a field very near to my apartment. I think I'll sign up for this summer, as it should be a good outdoor activity and a great way to meet new people (read: boys.)
I e-mailed the long-lost lover last night about a possible Florida rendezvous, so I will keep you posted if he responds. I know he's not on Facebook very often, but hopefully he'll still get the memo, as it were.
So tonight I think instead of Shredding, I'm going to Skype with Britch. I think my mental health should take some priority over my rocking body today. I already felt a lot better after talking to her last night, in part due to her medical expertise that supports my made-up beliefs, and also just because she makes me feel less crazy.
Anyway, food today:
B - honey bunches, coffee, milk - 4
L - sammy, yogurt with peach slices - 6
D - ww pasta with sauce, salad - 6-8?
S - orange, soup - 2
Total - 18-20 (I may add an after-work string cheese if needed.)
Activity - mental breakdown
Tuesday, April 27, 2010
I Loved David the Gnome and What I Ate
Well, it's supposedly the first softball game of the season at 7:00 pm tonight. It's been really rainy the past few days, however, so of course I'm hoping the fields are too wet to play. :) I'm scared to pitch! At least it sounds like we'll have some practice time on the field before the game starts, so they can see if I'm worthy. Unfortunately, the sun just came out a little bit ago, so that might mean game on.
Last night I hit the gym and rode 9 miles/45 minutes on the bike. It felt like a good workout, helped along by the steamy heat inside my gym -- I sweat like I was exercising in a sauna, and I am not usually a heavy sweater. (Ha.) Then it was home for dinner making, tv, reading, a quick chat with Mex, etc. All in all, an uneventful but decent evening.
Ready for the gnome story? This comes courtesy of my mother's church friend, and is about her co-worker and the co-worker's son. Got it? So this co-worker woman has a young teenaged son who is home during the day and is also autistic. He obviously can be by himself, but isn't always the quickest on processing life situations. One day he calls his mother at work four times in a row, upset. Once she gets a chance to call him back, she's concerned, asking him if there is an emergency. He says, "Mom, there's a gnome in the house! A gnome!" The mom can't get anymore information out of him, so she finally asks her boss if she can leave early to head home and figure out what's going on.
She arrives at he her house only to discover that a census taker had apparently come to their door -- a midget census taker. The son had never seen a midget before, but knew gnomes from his stories. He proceeded to pick up the "gnome" and shove him into the hallway closet, then lock him in safely. The gnome, fortunately, realized that this boy didn't quite have all of his mental faculties, so was trying to talk calmly to him through the door. "Please let me out. If you keep me in here for long, I'll get hungry. And then if I don't eat, I'll get sick!" So what was our enterprising young hero to do? Simple -- he found the gnome-friendly jelly beans in his Easter basket and began to slip them under the crack in the closet door, one by one. And this is the scene that his mother walked in on. It really happened. Too bad the local news couldn't pick it up, as the family was concerned about publicizing the information that their vulnerable son would be at home alone during the day. Who knows what garden creature would stop by next?
Well, in other joyous news, I just found out that my softball game has been cancelled! I'm sure the fields were too wet to play on, and I am excited. I think I'll walk home OR do the Jillian Michaels' shred -- to be determined.
I finally was able to connect with Britch, at least over G-chat just now, and I feel loads better. (Ew, that's kind of a gross expression...) And I appreciate your commented apology, lady. Anyway, I am much more settled in my head now, and instead of panicking about whatever happens tomorrow, I'm pretty sure I'll deal with it either way. My other mental escape at the moment is considering a trip to Florida to visit an old lover -- it might be nice to get in some beach, some margaritas, and some potential making out, right? What better healing step could I possibly take? :) Anyway, it's under consideration.
Well, foooood.
B - Honey Bunches with Strawberries, milk, coffee, string cheese - 5
L - chicken & cheese sammy, yogurt with peach slices - 6
D - artichoke lasagne, salad - 6
S - soup, orange - 3
Total - 20
Activity - walking home or shredding
OH OH OH and official weight this morning - 140 lbs. NEARLY 130s. I think my lowest of my adult life is 136...so we're getting closer.
Last night I hit the gym and rode 9 miles/45 minutes on the bike. It felt like a good workout, helped along by the steamy heat inside my gym -- I sweat like I was exercising in a sauna, and I am not usually a heavy sweater. (Ha.) Then it was home for dinner making, tv, reading, a quick chat with Mex, etc. All in all, an uneventful but decent evening.
Ready for the gnome story? This comes courtesy of my mother's church friend, and is about her co-worker and the co-worker's son. Got it? So this co-worker woman has a young teenaged son who is home during the day and is also autistic. He obviously can be by himself, but isn't always the quickest on processing life situations. One day he calls his mother at work four times in a row, upset. Once she gets a chance to call him back, she's concerned, asking him if there is an emergency. He says, "Mom, there's a gnome in the house! A gnome!" The mom can't get anymore information out of him, so she finally asks her boss if she can leave early to head home and figure out what's going on.
She arrives at he her house only to discover that a census taker had apparently come to their door -- a midget census taker. The son had never seen a midget before, but knew gnomes from his stories. He proceeded to pick up the "gnome" and shove him into the hallway closet, then lock him in safely. The gnome, fortunately, realized that this boy didn't quite have all of his mental faculties, so was trying to talk calmly to him through the door. "Please let me out. If you keep me in here for long, I'll get hungry. And then if I don't eat, I'll get sick!" So what was our enterprising young hero to do? Simple -- he found the gnome-friendly jelly beans in his Easter basket and began to slip them under the crack in the closet door, one by one. And this is the scene that his mother walked in on. It really happened. Too bad the local news couldn't pick it up, as the family was concerned about publicizing the information that their vulnerable son would be at home alone during the day. Who knows what garden creature would stop by next?
Well, in other joyous news, I just found out that my softball game has been cancelled! I'm sure the fields were too wet to play on, and I am excited. I think I'll walk home OR do the Jillian Michaels' shred -- to be determined.
I finally was able to connect with Britch, at least over G-chat just now, and I feel loads better. (Ew, that's kind of a gross expression...) And I appreciate your commented apology, lady. Anyway, I am much more settled in my head now, and instead of panicking about whatever happens tomorrow, I'm pretty sure I'll deal with it either way. My other mental escape at the moment is considering a trip to Florida to visit an old lover -- it might be nice to get in some beach, some margaritas, and some potential making out, right? What better healing step could I possibly take? :) Anyway, it's under consideration.
Well, foooood.
B - Honey Bunches with Strawberries, milk, coffee, string cheese - 5
L - chicken & cheese sammy, yogurt with peach slices - 6
D - artichoke lasagne, salad - 6
S - soup, orange - 3
Total - 20
Activity - walking home or shredding
OH OH OH and official weight this morning - 140 lbs. NEARLY 130s. I think my lowest of my adult life is 136...so we're getting closer.
Monday, April 26, 2010
Keep On Keepin' On and What I Ate
Rain remix! I actually didn't mind a rainy Sunday, and don't hate a rainy Monday, either. It fits the mood and enables me to further curl up into myself, you know? We had a lovely Saturday here, though, so don't worry, I did get out in the sun. My back is still burned!
From the top: Friday I just went home, happy that I had some beers and good company the night before, so I kept it low-key. I caught up on DVR, I ordered very healthy Chinese food (I am an ascetic now, apparently) -- steamed shrimp dumplings and sauteed vegetables with brown rice. I ate half of each, saving the other half for later in the weekend. Then I took a long bath and started reading The Help by Kathryn Stockett, which everyone in the world is also apparently reading. Based on the premise, I thought it might be a little hokey for me, but I really got into it. It has three different narrators, and I liked one of them especially (Skeeter, if you've read it), but all were enjoyable. It also helped to read so much at once, as I ended up burning through about 200 pages on Friday tucked up in bed after my bath. Finally bed, without the aid of a sleeping pill.
Saturday I woke too early for my taste, but watched some TV and made Low-Fat Nutrigrain Eggos and bummed around, then went to the Socrates Sculpture Park in Astoria with Mex. We sat on a beachtowel, ate a very basic picnic, tried to read but mostly got distracted by all the playing puppies. I also sunned myself while he tried to keep his half of the towel in the shade. Don't worry, we didn't touch or anything. But for real, I've seen him once a week now since the nuclear bomb, and it's what I want to do. I miss his companionship and it's nice to be able to talk about what I'm feeling with someone who understands more than anyone else, even if he caused it. This may all go away after Wednesday, aka No-Baby Day (Cross Your Fingers), but I'm taking each third of my waking hours as they come. Anyway, after the park I went back home to shower and get ready to meet up with Scmillie and her lady for Hot Tub Time Machine. Obviously it's a screwball comedy, but I'd heard it was hilarious and it seemed like just the right tone for the weekend. Sadly, I found it really uneven -- parts were very funny but then other parts were kind of boring. Oh well, it was a good distraction and it was nice to get out and hang with friends! After the movie, Ax met us up and we ate at Republic. Then it was back to Astoria around 10:30 pm, and Ax and I debated getting a beer before recognizing that we were both very tired and should do it another time. So I climbed back in my cozy bed and finished The Help by about 1:30 am. Oh, I'd found out my softball scrimmage in the morning (which was originally why we picked such sedate evening plans) had been cancelled due to forecasted rain. So I stayed up late.
Sunday I slept "in" till nearly 10:00 (I've lost this power, apparently), then lazed around in the gloomy day, watching my Netflix movies and being sad for awhile. It didn't help that the movies were so boring -- Snow Falling on Cedars was too arty and pretty and there was not enough dialogue, and The Other Boleyn Girl was also boring and better covered in The Tudors, plus there was an incest scene that freaked me out. Fail. Anyway, then Britch stood me up for our afternoon Skype date, then I went grocery shopping (to a store near me that I don't frequent as often, though apparently I should, as it was full of cute hipster boys!) Then I cleaned my room and talked to my mom, which actually cheered me up considerably (and I was surprised at that.) She relayed a story about a gnome that I will tell you at a later date, too. Then I settled in to watch Mystic Pizza on TV while also starting a new historical novel (which will be a guilty pleasure, I can tell) and have a quick phone chat with Mex.
It was a good weekend, well-rounded and well-behaved. The pounds are coming off quite quickly recently with my monkish lifestyle, though I'm sure I'll go up and down a bit depending on my social activities. Still, I should be nearing the 130s now, just in time for swimsuit wearing.
Today is another sleepy one, but tomorrow night is our first real softball game of the season and I'm excited and nervous. I should try to make it to the gym when I get home tonight, though we shall see how my motivation holds up. Mex is also going to give me the nine beers that have been sitting in his fridge for a week (as he's stopped drinking, and hopefully it sticks), so they don't go to waste, and I think that handoff is tonight. Not that I'll be crushing the Buds, but we have to arrange the custody change. And I'm sort of alternately really optimistic and really angry about circumstances, but after Wednesday I'll at least have a better idea of what's to come. Then I can figure out what I'm going to do to move on.
Well FOOD:
B - Strawberry Yogurt O's, milk, coffee - 5
L - chicken & muenster sammy, yogurt with strawberries - 6
D - creamy artichoke lasagna, salad - 6
S - string cheese, soup, orange - 3
Total - 20
Friday, April 23, 2010
Fridaze and What I Ate
It's almost the weekend again! Oh, sometimes I get sad that I am "working for the weekend," like the song says. But it seems in order to enjoy one's life outside of work, one must sit at a desk. Unless one is following your dreams or some other hippy dippy unrealistic thing. (I'm very jealous, in that case.)
Last night I had lovely back patio drinks with Schmillie. (No, that's not a euphemism.) The pizza was free, the rain held off, and it didn't get crowded. It was good to get her perspective on many things (as usual), and then it was home for bedtime. I did talk to Mex, as I didn't have enough willpower to go all day without. Still, it was less communication than the day before, etc. While I know I need some space, I'm having a hard time taking it right now while I know he's still taking her calls. It's not fair. She gets attention because she's crazy and unsafe and knocked up, and I don't because I am relatively sane? (Though he says he mostly answers the phone and she rants for awhile and he tunes out and that's it. It's like he's trying to do penance, or do the right thing, by fulfilling his obligation to see her through this, but what's really happening is she's just walking all over him and growing more attached. Ridic.) So whatever, I am being rather impulsive with these things, but I'm making it through my days. There was more talk about her doc visit and how it may be a real baby, which made me nervous, so I did some internet research today to calm me down. Surprisingly, it worked. And if she is, life will go on.
I've still been taking one sleeping pill before bed to help me fall asleep and stay asleep, but this morning I woke up at 6 am and laid there for awhile, mind a-spinning. It's so irritating! Maybe this time I should blame the beer, though I wasn't drunk when I went to bed. It's just frustrating. I really want to get one of those sleep masks to block more sunlight, too. Maybe my local drug store will sell some? I don't need a fancy blingy one, for pete's sake. Or I could just tie a bandana around my face like I'm playing Pin the Tail on the Donkey while sleeping. But I may end up choking myself in the middle of the night.
Anyway, tonight's plan is very calm, which sounds lovely. I won't be walking home in this gorgeous weather, as apparently my Shredding with Jillian Michael's has given me the 2-day burn (and no, that's not something I was tested for at the doctor.) My thigh muscles are killing me and I am hobbling around like Estelle Getty.
I have to catch up on some DVR (Top Chef Masters, Project Runway Finale, Chopped) and I also have Snow Falling on Cedars and The Other Boleyn Girl home from Netflix. Both seem like moody period pieces, and I'm interested in SFoC because I read the book recently, so I'm curious how it comes across on film. AND Ethan Hawke is in it. Oh yeah.
Happy weekend!
Last night I had lovely back patio drinks with Schmillie. (No, that's not a euphemism.) The pizza was free, the rain held off, and it didn't get crowded. It was good to get her perspective on many things (as usual), and then it was home for bedtime. I did talk to Mex, as I didn't have enough willpower to go all day without. Still, it was less communication than the day before, etc. While I know I need some space, I'm having a hard time taking it right now while I know he's still taking her calls. It's not fair. She gets attention because she's crazy and unsafe and knocked up, and I don't because I am relatively sane? (Though he says he mostly answers the phone and she rants for awhile and he tunes out and that's it. It's like he's trying to do penance, or do the right thing, by fulfilling his obligation to see her through this, but what's really happening is she's just walking all over him and growing more attached. Ridic.) So whatever, I am being rather impulsive with these things, but I'm making it through my days. There was more talk about her doc visit and how it may be a real baby, which made me nervous, so I did some internet research today to calm me down. Surprisingly, it worked. And if she is, life will go on.
I've still been taking one sleeping pill before bed to help me fall asleep and stay asleep, but this morning I woke up at 6 am and laid there for awhile, mind a-spinning. It's so irritating! Maybe this time I should blame the beer, though I wasn't drunk when I went to bed. It's just frustrating. I really want to get one of those sleep masks to block more sunlight, too. Maybe my local drug store will sell some? I don't need a fancy blingy one, for pete's sake. Or I could just tie a bandana around my face like I'm playing Pin the Tail on the Donkey while sleeping. But I may end up choking myself in the middle of the night.
This one is terrible.
Anyway, tonight's plan is very calm, which sounds lovely. I won't be walking home in this gorgeous weather, as apparently my Shredding with Jillian Michael's has given me the 2-day burn (and no, that's not something I was tested for at the doctor.) My thigh muscles are killing me and I am hobbling around like Estelle Getty.
I have to catch up on some DVR (Top Chef Masters, Project Runway Finale, Chopped) and I also have Snow Falling on Cedars and The Other Boleyn Girl home from Netflix. Both seem like moody period pieces, and I'm interested in SFoC because I read the book recently, so I'm curious how it comes across on film. AND Ethan Hawke is in it. Oh yeah.
Hey, he kind of looks like that teen I kissed there! Nice. So it should be a good quiet evening at home. Tomorrow night I am finally going to see Hot Tub Time Machine with Schmillie and her lady, and possibly have an Ax reunion, too. Then supper afterwards, then earlyish to bed, as I have a softball scrimmage at 10:30 on Sunday morning. (This is lame and cruel, obviously. Who wants to get up at 9:00 on a Sunday?)
Well, food today wasn't quite spot on, but it's a Friday.
B - TJ's Strawberry Yogurt O's, coffee, less milk than usual - 3
L - Curried Chicken Salad wrap, Baked Lays - ?
D - Either Chicken Meatloaf and salad or something yummy delivered, like steamed shrimp dumplings - ?
S - cigarettes
Total - ? but could be worse
Happy weekend!
Thursday, April 22, 2010
Ob La Dee and What I Ate
Well, we made it to Thursday again. The weather this week has been rather interesting, with sunny, 70-degree lunches outside followed by brief rainshowers in the afternoon. Hopefully this one will clear up in time for some happy hour drinks at the Crocodile Lounge with Schmillie and co. They have a back patio, and it would be a shame to eat my free pizza INDOORS this time of year.
Last night I Shredded with Jillian Michaels, and man, every time I take a break from that routine, it kicks my butt all over again when I start up. But in a good way. I can feel some of the soreness today but it's not debilitating, so I feel very accomplished. Also, I re-weighed myself without clothes on this morning so I have an accurate measurement. And I didn't eat all of my points yesterday because I was busy at work so didn't have my afternoon snax, but I wasn't too hungry anyway. I think that's OK for now.
Not much else to report. I had a sexy dream about a co-worker who I actually strongly dislike (and who may be getting fired soon), so that was nice at the unconscious time (ahh, sexy rendevous) but it was quite distasteful this morning when I first saw him. I feel so confused when I look at him now! Do I hate hate him, or love hate him?
In Mex hell news, the whore's doctor's appointment was inconclusive last night, so apparently the pregnancy threat isn't entirely over, though there is no heartbeat (and she's bled a lot, and she's drinking a lot??) so hopefully it'll be over soon. She has another appointment in a week, and it's terrible to be stuck here...though I'm going to get some more distance (i.e. less talking to him) from the whole situation, which is really hard to do, but necessary at the same time. It's not my problem, even if it feels like it.
Well, eats.
B - TJ's strawberry yogurt O's, coffee, milk - 4
L - turkey & muenster sandwich, yogurt with strawberries - 6
D - TBD, maybe free pizza and beer
S - soup, orange - 2
Total - 12 plus dinnertime stuff
Weight - 141
Activity - fake it till you make it
Last night I Shredded with Jillian Michaels, and man, every time I take a break from that routine, it kicks my butt all over again when I start up. But in a good way. I can feel some of the soreness today but it's not debilitating, so I feel very accomplished. Also, I re-weighed myself without clothes on this morning so I have an accurate measurement. And I didn't eat all of my points yesterday because I was busy at work so didn't have my afternoon snax, but I wasn't too hungry anyway. I think that's OK for now.
Not much else to report. I had a sexy dream about a co-worker who I actually strongly dislike (and who may be getting fired soon), so that was nice at the unconscious time (ahh, sexy rendevous) but it was quite distasteful this morning when I first saw him. I feel so confused when I look at him now! Do I hate hate him, or love hate him?
In Mex hell news, the whore's doctor's appointment was inconclusive last night, so apparently the pregnancy threat isn't entirely over, though there is no heartbeat (and she's bled a lot, and she's drinking a lot??) so hopefully it'll be over soon. She has another appointment in a week, and it's terrible to be stuck here...though I'm going to get some more distance (i.e. less talking to him) from the whole situation, which is really hard to do, but necessary at the same time. It's not my problem, even if it feels like it.
Well, eats.
B - TJ's strawberry yogurt O's, coffee, milk - 4
L - turkey & muenster sandwich, yogurt with strawberries - 6
D - TBD, maybe free pizza and beer
S - soup, orange - 2
Total - 12 plus dinnertime stuff
Weight - 141
Activity - fake it till you make it
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
I'm Ba-aaaack
Hello again, hello. (Just called to say hello.)
Firstly, a brief explanation. I was blindsided last week by news that Mex had cheated on me. There was another person when we were breaking up, through the breakup period, then it lasted longer than it should when we were getting back together. And he saw her about a month ago to tell her he was done with her (why in person? why?) and they got drunk and she brought him upstairs again. I only found out because turns out she got ectopically pregnant and he, of course, had to face up to his actions and realize what he'd done. So here we are. It's extremely difficult and confusing and hurtful and I sort of want to become addicted to drugs to escape, and every day I feel different things. I'm still talking to him, partially to get information (I ask a lot of questions about what happened) and to make sure her non-baby goes away as it's supposed to. (There is a doctor's appointment today.) I am also having a hard time not talking to him, as I want to know why he did this and how he could. (In my head it's like he split into two different people--the one that made me very happy and then this evil maniac.) He's still working out why he did it, as he was in some serious denial/depravity, but he's seemingly hit rock bottom with his drinking and now says he's interested in getting some therapy help and making a change. That said, I'm not holding my breath. Also, I hate him a lot and can't imagine trusting him, but I also still love him some, too. That's what's so strange. But it's not as if I have to decide anything right now (as far as whether I am going to try to trust him) since he has lots of work to do on himself. I know he wants to get help and see if we can be together again in the future, but that's far off in my head, if it's even a possibility. I'm just trying to survive each day, as it's a crazy place in my head. Oh, and I got some tests run at the lady doc on Monday eve, so here's hoping he DOESN'T call me this week with any positive results. So that's the story. Sorry it's not so great.
Otherwise, I have wonderful friends who are keeping me social and letting me feel my feelings, and I even kissed a very hot 23-year-old (aka "a teen") last Saturday. It was nice, but it was also upsetting because I just don't think I'm supposed to be there again, yet here I am. Alas. I've lost weight, which is strange because though I wasn't eating at first, I have since made up for it (especially with a hangover Sunday menu of nachos AND sweet & sour chicken! Sick!) I am going to at least focus on my diet and exercise as some sort of distraction, and I'm taking non-medicated OTC sleeping pills at night so I can sleep through till morning, and I am (yes, I know) smoking like a chimney, but those last two will abate with time.
SO. Debbie Downer, eh? Well, last night I walked home from work with Schmauren, and it was lovely. Tonight I am going to watch DVR'd Glee (how can they pit it against Lost?) after I do some exercise, perhaps Jillian Michael's 30 Day Shred to mix it up. I'm also going to try not to crazily stare at my phone, waiting to hear that her doc appt. went as expected and now he's done speaking to her. But I might.
Food plan:
B - Special K, coffee, milk - 4
L - turkey & muenster sammy, yogurt with strawberries - 6
D - Creamy Artichoke Lasagne, salad - 6
S - orange, Ginger Carrot soup, string cheese - 3
Total - 19 (maybe I'll add Sugar Free Jello Pudding for dessert?)
Activity - bike at the gym or SHREDDING
Firstly, a brief explanation. I was blindsided last week by news that Mex had cheated on me. There was another person when we were breaking up, through the breakup period, then it lasted longer than it should when we were getting back together. And he saw her about a month ago to tell her he was done with her (why in person? why?) and they got drunk and she brought him upstairs again. I only found out because turns out she got ectopically pregnant and he, of course, had to face up to his actions and realize what he'd done. So here we are. It's extremely difficult and confusing and hurtful and I sort of want to become addicted to drugs to escape, and every day I feel different things. I'm still talking to him, partially to get information (I ask a lot of questions about what happened) and to make sure her non-baby goes away as it's supposed to. (There is a doctor's appointment today.) I am also having a hard time not talking to him, as I want to know why he did this and how he could. (In my head it's like he split into two different people--the one that made me very happy and then this evil maniac.) He's still working out why he did it, as he was in some serious denial/depravity, but he's seemingly hit rock bottom with his drinking and now says he's interested in getting some therapy help and making a change. That said, I'm not holding my breath. Also, I hate him a lot and can't imagine trusting him, but I also still love him some, too. That's what's so strange. But it's not as if I have to decide anything right now (as far as whether I am going to try to trust him) since he has lots of work to do on himself. I know he wants to get help and see if we can be together again in the future, but that's far off in my head, if it's even a possibility. I'm just trying to survive each day, as it's a crazy place in my head. Oh, and I got some tests run at the lady doc on Monday eve, so here's hoping he DOESN'T call me this week with any positive results. So that's the story. Sorry it's not so great.
Otherwise, I have wonderful friends who are keeping me social and letting me feel my feelings, and I even kissed a very hot 23-year-old (aka "a teen") last Saturday. It was nice, but it was also upsetting because I just don't think I'm supposed to be there again, yet here I am. Alas. I've lost weight, which is strange because though I wasn't eating at first, I have since made up for it (especially with a hangover Sunday menu of nachos AND sweet & sour chicken! Sick!) I am going to at least focus on my diet and exercise as some sort of distraction, and I'm taking non-medicated OTC sleeping pills at night so I can sleep through till morning, and I am (yes, I know) smoking like a chimney, but those last two will abate with time.
SO. Debbie Downer, eh? Well, last night I walked home from work with Schmauren, and it was lovely. Tonight I am going to watch DVR'd Glee (how can they pit it against Lost?) after I do some exercise, perhaps Jillian Michael's 30 Day Shred to mix it up. I'm also going to try not to crazily stare at my phone, waiting to hear that her doc appt. went as expected and now he's done speaking to her. But I might.
Food plan:
B - Special K, coffee, milk - 4
L - turkey & muenster sammy, yogurt with strawberries - 6
D - Creamy Artichoke Lasagne, salad - 6
S - orange, Ginger Carrot soup, string cheese - 3
Total - 19 (maybe I'll add Sugar Free Jello Pudding for dessert?)
Activity - bike at the gym or SHREDDING
Friday, April 16, 2010
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
Coffee Coffee Coffee and What I Ate
So I've been drinking more coffee in the mornings because I've been cold in my office and because we have a new pot in the kitchen so it's convenient and because it staves off hunger, but now I am feeling preeeettty wired. It's like the Halloween Garfield episode where he becomes a candy addict and just says CANDY CANDY CANDY over and over. I would post a video, but I forgot my earphones so I can't vet the Youtube results before sharing. I wouldn't want to put up something too scary. Or...let's try this. IS IT THE ONE?
So today is gloomy, eh? It seems hard to believe that it's not going to rain, but that's what the weatherman says. I would pretty much prefer the rain so that I didn't have to practice softball and I could go home and make Creamy Ricotta-Artichoke Lasagna (the recipe I found last week) (speaking of Garfield), now that I grocery-shopped for it last night. And then Mex could come over for a cozy dinner, and my roomie would be gone for the whole evening, and...sigh. Instead, it's supposed to clear up and we'll practice for three hours. I'm sure it'll be fun once I get out there (?) but it's not sounding so good.
I just finished writing another book proposal for my freelance pimp. I love being done and hopefully not having another on my plate for a few days...though he's already talking to me about his editing his graphic novel. We shall see. At least I've decided to raise my rates for the next project, so that'll be some nice extra shopping money.
Walking home last night was just lovely, and I didn't suffer any loss of motivation, which is rare, especially for a Monday. Then I had a moderately successful grocery shopping trip, though my stupid local store manager thought it was strange that I would want to buy pine nuts. So I went to the slightly pricier but nicer store up the street, thanks. Then home for dinner, How I Met Your Mother, a phone call from Mex, then fairly early to bed, though I didn't sleep right away despite being leg-tired from my walking. Oh well, my active mind is a curse.
Last night I dreamt about that friend who maybe is in love with me. This was the second dream I'd had about him being in love with me, and it developed to where we were kissing, but I was cheating on Mex in the dream and very conflicted. Also, friend was drunk, as he was in the first dream. What does it all mean? Do I only think drunk men love me? (That would be sad.) Obviously I'm slightly intrigued at the possibilities of him loving me, but it's just so vivid in the dreams, and I sort of feel guilt today, even if it's all imaginary. So strange.
Today's eating.
B - Special K, milk, coffee - 4
L - turkey & swiss sammy, yogurt with strawberries - 6
D - TBD, may be out after softball
S - string cheese, soup, granny bar - 4
Total - 14 plus dinner
Activity - either softball or cooking lasagna
So today is gloomy, eh? It seems hard to believe that it's not going to rain, but that's what the weatherman says. I would pretty much prefer the rain so that I didn't have to practice softball and I could go home and make Creamy Ricotta-Artichoke Lasagna (the recipe I found last week) (speaking of Garfield), now that I grocery-shopped for it last night. And then Mex could come over for a cozy dinner, and my roomie would be gone for the whole evening, and...sigh. Instead, it's supposed to clear up and we'll practice for three hours. I'm sure it'll be fun once I get out there (?) but it's not sounding so good.
I just finished writing another book proposal for my freelance pimp. I love being done and hopefully not having another on my plate for a few days...though he's already talking to me about his editing his graphic novel. We shall see. At least I've decided to raise my rates for the next project, so that'll be some nice extra shopping money.
Walking home last night was just lovely, and I didn't suffer any loss of motivation, which is rare, especially for a Monday. Then I had a moderately successful grocery shopping trip, though my stupid local store manager thought it was strange that I would want to buy pine nuts. So I went to the slightly pricier but nicer store up the street, thanks. Then home for dinner, How I Met Your Mother, a phone call from Mex, then fairly early to bed, though I didn't sleep right away despite being leg-tired from my walking. Oh well, my active mind is a curse.
Last night I dreamt about that friend who maybe is in love with me. This was the second dream I'd had about him being in love with me, and it developed to where we were kissing, but I was cheating on Mex in the dream and very conflicted. Also, friend was drunk, as he was in the first dream. What does it all mean? Do I only think drunk men love me? (That would be sad.) Obviously I'm slightly intrigued at the possibilities of him loving me, but it's just so vivid in the dreams, and I sort of feel guilt today, even if it's all imaginary. So strange.
Today's eating.
B - Special K, milk, coffee - 4
L - turkey & swiss sammy, yogurt with strawberries - 6
D - TBD, may be out after softball
S - string cheese, soup, granny bar - 4
Total - 14 plus dinner
Activity - either softball or cooking lasagna
Monday, April 12, 2010
Working for the Weekend and What I Ate
Hello lovers!
How hard is it to start working today? I haven't accomplished a single work-related thing all morning. But that's sort of great, because it's not like I have a ton to do today. Or at least nothing with a deadline.
My weekend was very fun, though I feel a bit guilty about not enjoying more of the beautiful daytime weather. That's what happens when you're a creature of the night, I suppose. Friday's Hennapalooza was very fun, and a bit crazier like the good ol' days. We hung out in the bathroom with shower caps on like we were in the 1950s, we made a beer run with the same shower caps on, and we gabbed and ate reasonable pizza. We took a risk on delivery since Schmillie wasn't aware of any great pizza parlors in her new neighborhood. (Yet. Yet.) Then I met Mex back in Astoria for some late-night pool, then home.
Saturday we slept in, then he left to get some work done and I returned to the nail parlor after a long absence after witnessing some scary violence last time. Thankfully, it's under new ownership, and it was a great experience. (I realize there are many nail salons to chose from, but this one is usually less crowded and pretty cheap for good quality -- $20 for a mani and pedi.) It's now run by a young Chinese woman who was very accommodating, and I even had a man do my pedicure and start my manicure before she jumped in. It was a bit weird at first to have a strange gentleman bowing over your feet, but he gave such a great foot massage that I quickly accustomed to it. And she massaged my shoulders while I was at the drying station, like the good places do. Sigh. Anyway, I went springy and got some hot pink toes AND fingers, then home to get ready for the evening. I met up with Mex and Schmauren at Gleason's in Astoria for a few beers before we headed into Manhattan to the Spring Street Lounge for Schmate's birthday party. I hadn't been to that bar in a few years, but used to really enjoy (as it was particularly male-heavy), and once the crowd thinned out a bit this time, I remembered why I liked it so much! I mean, in addition to the menfolk. The whole Muncher gang had a great silly time, and then Mex, Schmauren and I cabbed it back to Astoria for some nightcaps at Sweet Afton. It was a blast, and I felt like a kid again. I never go out in Manhattan anymore, but it's nice to get into the city and deal with the rabble every now and then.
Sunday was recovery and laziness in the form of Chicken Tikka Masala delivery, watching tv and two romantic comedies in a row. Did You Hear About the Morgans was amusing at points but also a bit frustrating (I have a hard time when asked to be sympathetic to adulterers, what can I say), then The Proposal was way better than I expected. I really enjoyed that one, and laughed loudly and weirdly at the naked-running-into-each-other scene. (Have you seen it? Spoiler, but something about how Ryan Reynolds keeps saying "I don't understand. Why are you wet?" just killed me.) Finally later in the night I cleaned up my room and filed my taxes, so I at least got something done with my day.
And this week should be a nice, springy one, with softball practice tomorrow (that might get rained out, not that I'm sort of crossing my fingers for that, ahem) and Harpie dinner on Thursday. I usually go from Sunday until Thursday without seeing Mex as it's our productive weekday habit, but I mentioned something yesterday about how Sundays are always sort of sad because in addition to being the end of the weekend, I know I won't see him for awhile (mush mush.) He suggested we get a quick bite on Tuesday. Cute.
Also, the publishing guy who hooks me up with most of my freelance projects has just asked me what my ultimate career goal is, as in, do I want to be an editor again for reals. He's probably just being curious, but my imagination immediately wondered if he's looking to hire an editor for his business start-up, etc. etc. It's obviously in fantasy land, but I wonder if I'd want to do that. I know I'm not that into joining corporate, commercial publishing again, but perhaps there's a way for me to do the work I enjoy while being a bit more independent. (Though I guess I'm doing that now, it's just not my day job.) Anyway, things to think about.
Food. (God, I haven't been good with diet & exercise lately, you guys. I don't know how much I weigh, and I think it's up again, but I feel pretty happy anyway so I don't care too much. Though I need to behave during these weeks so I can be flexible on the weekends! Time to crack down again!)
B - Special K, coffee, milk - 4
L - Swiss, cucumber, beet sandwich (clearly I need to go shopping), cottage cheese - 5
D - chicken meatloaf, salad with feta - 5.5
S - string cheese, orange, soup, granny bar - 5
Total - 19.5
Activity - walking home, whee!
How hard is it to start working today? I haven't accomplished a single work-related thing all morning. But that's sort of great, because it's not like I have a ton to do today. Or at least nothing with a deadline.
My weekend was very fun, though I feel a bit guilty about not enjoying more of the beautiful daytime weather. That's what happens when you're a creature of the night, I suppose. Friday's Hennapalooza was very fun, and a bit crazier like the good ol' days. We hung out in the bathroom with shower caps on like we were in the 1950s, we made a beer run with the same shower caps on, and we gabbed and ate reasonable pizza. We took a risk on delivery since Schmillie wasn't aware of any great pizza parlors in her new neighborhood. (Yet. Yet.) Then I met Mex back in Astoria for some late-night pool, then home.
Saturday we slept in, then he left to get some work done and I returned to the nail parlor after a long absence after witnessing some scary violence last time. Thankfully, it's under new ownership, and it was a great experience. (I realize there are many nail salons to chose from, but this one is usually less crowded and pretty cheap for good quality -- $20 for a mani and pedi.) It's now run by a young Chinese woman who was very accommodating, and I even had a man do my pedicure and start my manicure before she jumped in. It was a bit weird at first to have a strange gentleman bowing over your feet, but he gave such a great foot massage that I quickly accustomed to it. And she massaged my shoulders while I was at the drying station, like the good places do. Sigh. Anyway, I went springy and got some hot pink toes AND fingers, then home to get ready for the evening. I met up with Mex and Schmauren at Gleason's in Astoria for a few beers before we headed into Manhattan to the Spring Street Lounge for Schmate's birthday party. I hadn't been to that bar in a few years, but used to really enjoy (as it was particularly male-heavy), and once the crowd thinned out a bit this time, I remembered why I liked it so much! I mean, in addition to the menfolk. The whole Muncher gang had a great silly time, and then Mex, Schmauren and I cabbed it back to Astoria for some nightcaps at Sweet Afton. It was a blast, and I felt like a kid again. I never go out in Manhattan anymore, but it's nice to get into the city and deal with the rabble every now and then.
Sunday was recovery and laziness in the form of Chicken Tikka Masala delivery, watching tv and two romantic comedies in a row. Did You Hear About the Morgans was amusing at points but also a bit frustrating (I have a hard time when asked to be sympathetic to adulterers, what can I say), then The Proposal was way better than I expected. I really enjoyed that one, and laughed loudly and weirdly at the naked-running-into-each-other scene. (Have you seen it? Spoiler, but something about how Ryan Reynolds keeps saying "I don't understand. Why are you wet?" just killed me.) Finally later in the night I cleaned up my room and filed my taxes, so I at least got something done with my day.
And this week should be a nice, springy one, with softball practice tomorrow (that might get rained out, not that I'm sort of crossing my fingers for that, ahem) and Harpie dinner on Thursday. I usually go from Sunday until Thursday without seeing Mex as it's our productive weekday habit, but I mentioned something yesterday about how Sundays are always sort of sad because in addition to being the end of the weekend, I know I won't see him for awhile (mush mush.) He suggested we get a quick bite on Tuesday. Cute.
Also, the publishing guy who hooks me up with most of my freelance projects has just asked me what my ultimate career goal is, as in, do I want to be an editor again for reals. He's probably just being curious, but my imagination immediately wondered if he's looking to hire an editor for his business start-up, etc. etc. It's obviously in fantasy land, but I wonder if I'd want to do that. I know I'm not that into joining corporate, commercial publishing again, but perhaps there's a way for me to do the work I enjoy while being a bit more independent. (Though I guess I'm doing that now, it's just not my day job.) Anyway, things to think about.
Food. (God, I haven't been good with diet & exercise lately, you guys. I don't know how much I weigh, and I think it's up again, but I feel pretty happy anyway so I don't care too much. Though I need to behave during these weeks so I can be flexible on the weekends! Time to crack down again!)
B - Special K, coffee, milk - 4
L - Swiss, cucumber, beet sandwich (clearly I need to go shopping), cottage cheese - 5
D - chicken meatloaf, salad with feta - 5.5
S - string cheese, orange, soup, granny bar - 5
Total - 19.5
Activity - walking home, whee!
Friday, April 9, 2010
Homemade Smoke Monster and What I Ate
It's Friday night...and the mood is right. Gonna have some fun, show 'em how it's done, TGIF.
Oh, the memories. Today is sort of a gloomy, cooler Friday, but that gives me a big burst of energy, as too many sunny days in a row freak me out. We need some variety and mystery in the weather, right? Besides, I like spring, and I am not ready for summer.
Last night's dinner with Mex was delicious, if one could overlook the brouhaha I created by spilling the marinade off of the baking sheet onto the bottom of the oven, thus creating a smoke monster, thus setting off BOTH oversensitive fire detectors in our apartment. Mex manned one while I manned the other, fanning in front of it and pressing the button. Those sorts of loud, incessant noises make me violent, though, so there was a big come(calm)down after that...but the food tasted great. Then after dinner, Mex had more midterm grading to get done, so I let him escape to the bedroom to work while I cleaned up and scrubbed the bottom of the oven for about 40 minutes. I wore myself out and still didn't get all the baked-on grease off. We couldn't find any product that would make a dent in it until my roomie suggested vinegar and baking soda, and that got some of the job done. Man, I think the rest is permanent -- I don't know what else we can do. Is it sad that I'd never cleaned an oven like that before? I don't know if I've had to. And now I will be careful enough with pan juices to never have to again, damnit.
Oh, prior to dinner, I came home to an apartment without power because a manhole cover had exploded in the street in front of our place, right into my landlord's parked car (the underside, poor car), and ConEd were busy outside working. Thankfully we were operational by 7:00 pm, so my evening continued as planned, but man, good thing there was a car parked to absorb the shock! As opposed to a person, I mean.
But TONIGHT! Is another Henna Party with BSH. There will be henna, and yummy food of some sort (maybe pizza?), and some moderate wine and maybe beer, if needed. I will attempt to defy the smoking temptation, but we'll see. (I've been doing pretty well, it's just the drinking that's the trigger.) Then home for some more Mex time. Tomorrow I should practice some of my softball moves (I was instructed to "strengthen my legs" for pitching...yikes), and tomorrow night is Schmate's big birthday bash. It's shaping up to be a great weekend, and all I have to do is get through five more hours of work...well, including one lunch hour, during which I will watch Top Chef: Masters that I missed on Wednesday. That part's not so bad.
Foods of today:
B - string cheese, coffee, milk, honey o's - 5
L - sandwich, yogurt - 5/6
D - TBD
S - soup, granny bar, vino - 4
Total - probably way over 20, but we'll see
Activity - walking to Columbus Circle to meet BSH, recreating the Henna Murder Pose (below)
Oh, the memories. Today is sort of a gloomy, cooler Friday, but that gives me a big burst of energy, as too many sunny days in a row freak me out. We need some variety and mystery in the weather, right? Besides, I like spring, and I am not ready for summer.
Last night's dinner with Mex was delicious, if one could overlook the brouhaha I created by spilling the marinade off of the baking sheet onto the bottom of the oven, thus creating a smoke monster, thus setting off BOTH oversensitive fire detectors in our apartment. Mex manned one while I manned the other, fanning in front of it and pressing the button. Those sorts of loud, incessant noises make me violent, though, so there was a big come(calm)down after that...but the food tasted great. Then after dinner, Mex had more midterm grading to get done, so I let him escape to the bedroom to work while I cleaned up and scrubbed the bottom of the oven for about 40 minutes. I wore myself out and still didn't get all the baked-on grease off. We couldn't find any product that would make a dent in it until my roomie suggested vinegar and baking soda, and that got some of the job done. Man, I think the rest is permanent -- I don't know what else we can do. Is it sad that I'd never cleaned an oven like that before? I don't know if I've had to. And now I will be careful enough with pan juices to never have to again, damnit.
Oh, prior to dinner, I came home to an apartment without power because a manhole cover had exploded in the street in front of our place, right into my landlord's parked car (the underside, poor car), and ConEd were busy outside working. Thankfully we were operational by 7:00 pm, so my evening continued as planned, but man, good thing there was a car parked to absorb the shock! As opposed to a person, I mean.
But TONIGHT! Is another Henna Party with BSH. There will be henna, and yummy food of some sort (maybe pizza?), and some moderate wine and maybe beer, if needed. I will attempt to defy the smoking temptation, but we'll see. (I've been doing pretty well, it's just the drinking that's the trigger.) Then home for some more Mex time. Tomorrow I should practice some of my softball moves (I was instructed to "strengthen my legs" for pitching...yikes), and tomorrow night is Schmate's big birthday bash. It's shaping up to be a great weekend, and all I have to do is get through five more hours of work...well, including one lunch hour, during which I will watch Top Chef: Masters that I missed on Wednesday. That part's not so bad.
Foods of today:
B - string cheese, coffee, milk, honey o's - 5
L - sandwich, yogurt - 5/6
D - TBD
S - soup, granny bar, vino - 4
Total - probably way over 20, but we'll see
Activity - walking to Columbus Circle to meet BSH, recreating the Henna Murder Pose (below)
Thursday, April 8, 2010
Hello Toes and What I Ate
It's my first day of commuting in flip flops! Sadly I do not have a perfect manicure, but my feet don't look too terrible, and I decided I didn't care. They're generally far away from people's eyes, anyway. And now my toes can feel the breeze!
Well, I finally did some spring shopping online yesterday. I went a little crazy at Kohl's.com, but I had a hard time finding things I liked at other sites, which is very strange for me! Still, I ordered three dresses (below) and three shrug cardigans (white, bright pink, and beige), which help me make work-appropriate outfits out of anything. In case you're curious, here are the dresses -- let's cross our fingers that they fit!
Well, I finally did some spring shopping online yesterday. I went a little crazy at Kohl's.com, but I had a hard time finding things I liked at other sites, which is very strange for me! Still, I ordered three dresses (below) and three shrug cardigans (white, bright pink, and beige), which help me make work-appropriate outfits out of anything. In case you're curious, here are the dresses -- let's cross our fingers that they fit!
There are a lot of prints, but hey, I like prints. We'll have to see how they look in person.
I also discovered a delicious-sounding recipe this morning for Creamy Ricotta-Artichoke Lasagna, which is only 6 Weight Watcher points per serving, and which seems like a good make-ahead-and-freeze dinner option. Plus, I already have some frozen 'chokes at home from TJ's, so I'm doing well on the ingredient list so far. I'll let you know how it turns out.
But I'm getting ahead of myself, food-wise. Tonight is the Chimichurri Salmon with Couscous and Salad dinner I'm making for my lover and myself. I'm very excited to taste the rainbow, but we're also going to have to eat later as Mex has some work to do, so I'm going to have to snack to stave off my hunger. At least my roommate packaged up all the Easter cookies she'd baked to give away, so there are fewer hanging around to tempt me. (I got home from my walk last night and ate three right away. I couldn't stop myself, which is why I know it's best for me to avoid temptation entirely. I have the willpower of a daisy.)
So my plan for today is a coffee date after work, a stop at the grocery store in Astoria to buy a few things I forgot last night (like milk for the weekend), then home to relax and get ready for company. I love the weather today, so I'm in a very relaxed, happy mood. (Yesterday was too hot, but a high of 79 I can deal with.)
I'm also just very content with my relationship status. I know these things ebb and flow, and I know I am particularly skilled at creating snags to worry about, but even the frequent communication is where I'd like it to be. We'd emailed yesterday a little, but last night I was thinking that I'd give him a call to see how his day went (because we're almost at a verbal call-a-day level now, which is a new thing), since he'd been initiating lately. I was going to call after my shower, but when I got out and picked up my phone, I'd missed a call from him. Perfect timing! I know it's silly, but I do appreciate a lot of communication -- it makes me feel involved and thought of and cared for. It's one of my love languages, I guess under Quality Time. So though he is naturally someone who is used to alone time and being mostly introverted, we're finding a balance that seems to be working well. (And has been two years coming.) Though it may not be fair to call it a balance, since it seems to suit my needs...though I don't think he "needs" to be left alone, he just can be fine with a day or two of silence, whereas to me that means the relationship is in TROUBLE. Anyway, he's at least accommodating me (and I think enjoying it now), and I am very pleasantly relaxed and confident.
Well, enough gooey stuff. Who watches Ugly Betty? Who is really annoyed that they're [SPOILER ALERT] matching up Betty and Daniel? I know I am -- even if the show is ending, it doesn't mean everyone has to be paired off so easily. I also was reflecting on how Amanda might be one of my favorite TV characters ever...she's the best part of that show.
Guys, when can we go on vacation again? When can we retire?
Fooders.
B - Honey O's, coffee, milk - 4
L - sammy, orange - 5
D - salmon, couscous, salad - 10
S - string cheese, soup, granny bar - 5
Total - 24 (am dipping into flexies, as if I keep track!)
Activity - walking as much as I can with time constraints and in flip flops
Wednesday, April 7, 2010
Birds and Bees and Nests and What I Ate
Today feels like one of those last days of school before summer vacation -- it's warm outside, it's quiet and sort of sleepy inside the office, and I'm having trouble concentrating on work. I just want to go outside and/or shop. I'm having nesting feelings, world! I found a set of dishes I really liked at WilliamsSonoma.com, and am actually tempted to get two of the 20-piece sets, because I'd like a setting for 8. You know, for in the far-away future when I have a family and/or dinner parties. But my current dishes are dollar-store pottery and serving me very well, so I should probably wait until that glorious day when I can register for stuff. (Though I'm picky...so it's hard to wait because they might be gone!) One of the annoying things about being single is that I find myself waiting to buy my "real" stuff, like furniture or dishes. Although perhaps I'm just waiting until I have my own apartment, since I'm very much looking forward to setting up my own house. One without a roommate who moves my stuff in the name of "organizing" or never does her dishes or always takes out the strainer in the sink drain or leaves her wet shower cap to dry on the handle of the shared medicine cabinet, so I have to move it every day. (Clearly I'm feeling the pain of having a roommate.)
Anyway, I'm feeling nesty and restless -- as in, restless in my current situation and like I want to nest in a new one! I think a short-term solution will be when Mex cleans up his apartment a little so we can hang out there again, and then his dad can drive down more furniture for him so there will be an actual bed we can sleep on there. It'll be nice to get out of my place sometimes, though I do like my place better. Just not the company. I'm really in a daydreamy mood about the future though, I'll admit it.
I didn't walk home last night as I ended up working an extra 40 minutes, and by the time I left I'd lost motivation. I did walk 1 mile to a different subway station, so that's something. I am planning on trying the whole walk again this evening, though man, I'm going to get sweaty! Hopefully it'll cool off a little by then -- and I shouldn't complain about beautiful weather, right?
Anyway, after I made dinner at home last night, I met up with Mex for a little Red Sox watching, which didn't go so well for them, but it was nice to see him briefly. And nice that he initiated the meeting in the middle of the week, when we usually wait until Thursday to see each other...I think he was still in Spring Break mode. But I got a little face time, and I was trying to pry for feedback from my visit -- his mom said I was "lovely" and everyone else had nice things to say, but he couldn't really remember specifics. Boo. His friend V did say something nice about me and then told Mex that since I'd left, no one was around to save him in their games of Quarters. That's all the detail I got, but oh well, it's all positive! He also said we'll have to go back soon, and that his fears about going were completely baseless and he's so happy with how it worked out. He talked about how he'd built it up too much, and he did feel some apprehension the night before and day that I went up there, but by then he figured it was "too late" to do anything about it and just accepted it, and it passed. So my plan worked! :)
The next few days will be rather full of things I'm looking forward to, but not necessarily all in a row. Still, I think the spring (summer?) weather will keep my energy up and it should be a great weekend. Tomorrow I have a coffee date after work, then am heading home to fix some marinated TJ's salmon, wild rice, and salad for Mex & I, then Friday night is a Henna Party with BSH, and it will be our first in a very long time, then Saturday night is Schmate's birthday bash at a dive bar, and who could ask for more?
It's 84 degrees and almost time to walk around in the joy at lunchtime.
Foodies.
B - Honey O's, coffee, milk - 4
L - chick & swiss, yogurt - 5
D - chicken meatloaf, salad - 5.5
S - 2 small tangerines, soup, granny bar - 5
Total - 19.5
Activity - walking home, sweating, possibly chafing
Anyway, I'm feeling nesty and restless -- as in, restless in my current situation and like I want to nest in a new one! I think a short-term solution will be when Mex cleans up his apartment a little so we can hang out there again, and then his dad can drive down more furniture for him so there will be an actual bed we can sleep on there. It'll be nice to get out of my place sometimes, though I do like my place better. Just not the company. I'm really in a daydreamy mood about the future though, I'll admit it.
I didn't walk home last night as I ended up working an extra 40 minutes, and by the time I left I'd lost motivation. I did walk 1 mile to a different subway station, so that's something. I am planning on trying the whole walk again this evening, though man, I'm going to get sweaty! Hopefully it'll cool off a little by then -- and I shouldn't complain about beautiful weather, right?
Anyway, after I made dinner at home last night, I met up with Mex for a little Red Sox watching, which didn't go so well for them, but it was nice to see him briefly. And nice that he initiated the meeting in the middle of the week, when we usually wait until Thursday to see each other...I think he was still in Spring Break mode. But I got a little face time, and I was trying to pry for feedback from my visit -- his mom said I was "lovely" and everyone else had nice things to say, but he couldn't really remember specifics. Boo. His friend V did say something nice about me and then told Mex that since I'd left, no one was around to save him in their games of Quarters. That's all the detail I got, but oh well, it's all positive! He also said we'll have to go back soon, and that his fears about going were completely baseless and he's so happy with how it worked out. He talked about how he'd built it up too much, and he did feel some apprehension the night before and day that I went up there, but by then he figured it was "too late" to do anything about it and just accepted it, and it passed. So my plan worked! :)
The next few days will be rather full of things I'm looking forward to, but not necessarily all in a row. Still, I think the spring (summer?) weather will keep my energy up and it should be a great weekend. Tomorrow I have a coffee date after work, then am heading home to fix some marinated TJ's salmon, wild rice, and salad for Mex & I, then Friday night is a Henna Party with BSH, and it will be our first in a very long time, then Saturday night is Schmate's birthday bash at a dive bar, and who could ask for more?
It's 84 degrees and almost time to walk around in the joy at lunchtime.
Foodies.
B - Honey O's, coffee, milk - 4
L - chick & swiss, yogurt - 5
D - chicken meatloaf, salad - 5.5
S - 2 small tangerines, soup, granny bar - 5
Total - 19.5
Activity - walking home, sweating, possibly chafing
Tuesday, April 6, 2010
The Green Monster Recap and What I Ate
Happy belated Easter, little bunnies! How were your sunny weekends?
I had an amazing time in Boston! Mex's family were all warm and welcoming and generous, and I was very comfortable around them. It was a great mini-break, and I felt truly relaxed and rejuvenated after the visit. Here are the highlights.
Thursday: Traffic in Connecticut due to a car accident. Arrive in Boston around 11:15 pm, Mex picks me up at the bus/train station, we head back to the house for dinner leftovers they'd set aside for me, then the comfy bed.
Friday: Up mid-morning for a healthy oatmeal breakfast, then bike ride with Mex's dad R and his long-term, live-in girlfriend C. So much beautiful nature, then a tour of some Victorian houses in the neighborhood (of West Roxbury), then we stop at a sandwich place for lunch. Mex's sister, her husband, and their one-year-old baby meet up with us for lunch around a picnic table. Then we ride back home for a nap and shower (so my sunburn can develop), then out for dinner with Mex's old friend V. After dinner it's back to V's apartment for Wii and quarters, and bonding over dessert.
Saturday: Up late again only to hear a brunch invitation shouted upstairs by R & C. We head to a diner where I finally satisfy my weeks-long craving for French toast. Then Mex & I drive into the downtown area for free parking (at his mom's work) and then walking on the very-crowded Newbury Street, through Boston Common and other wandering areas, then back to the car along the scenic river. Sweaty and tired, we take a short driving tour around Cambridge and Harvard, then head back to the house to put on sweats, open a few cold beers, enjoy the grilled hamburgers and hot dogs (courtesy of R), and settle in for some basketball. It was a homey night all together in the living room (with the two cats, too), then a reasonable bedtime.
Sunday: After a long and frustrating search on Saturday afternoon for a Protestant Easter service nearby that would be done in time for brunch, we arose early and made our way to St. Paul's Episcopal in Brookline.
I had an amazing time in Boston! Mex's family were all warm and welcoming and generous, and I was very comfortable around them. It was a great mini-break, and I felt truly relaxed and rejuvenated after the visit. Here are the highlights.
Thursday: Traffic in Connecticut due to a car accident. Arrive in Boston around 11:15 pm, Mex picks me up at the bus/train station, we head back to the house for dinner leftovers they'd set aside for me, then the comfy bed.
This artwork hung in both Mex's dad's house and his mom's apartment. I only found on on Sunday, due to his mom's adorable bragging, that Mex drew this in 2nd grade and it was chosen to be part of a Boston Globe ad campaign. (He also won the all-Boston science fair in 7th grade, and played the wooden recorder and the saxophone quite well. He hadn't previously admitted that recorder part.)
Friday: Up mid-morning for a healthy oatmeal breakfast, then bike ride with Mex's dad R and his long-term, live-in girlfriend C. So much beautiful nature, then a tour of some Victorian houses in the neighborhood (of West Roxbury), then we stop at a sandwich place for lunch. Mex's sister, her husband, and their one-year-old baby meet up with us for lunch around a picnic table. Then we ride back home for a nap and shower (so my sunburn can develop), then out for dinner with Mex's old friend V. After dinner it's back to V's apartment for Wii and quarters, and bonding over dessert.
Part of the decor at Bugaboo Creek Steakhouse, our Friday night restaurant of choice. The animals occasionally spoke and told jokes. It was amazing.
Walking along the scenic (and very blue) Charles River.
St. Paul's Episcopal in Brookline, MA
It was everything I'd wanted out of a church service, as it was very celebratory, in a beautiful sanctuary, and we got to all sing the Hallelujah Chorus at the end. (Oh, and it was the first time I saw a transgender mother with a nuclear family in a church. It was Mom, Dad to Mom, and two kids. And they fit right in, which was great.) The 9:00 service ended around 10, so we drove to Beacon Street in Brookline for me to pick out some lilies for Mex's mom, then to her lovely apartment for brunch. Mex's aunt and uncle were there, too, and we all sat around talking for awhile, then they took off, which left us some better bonding time with just his mother. She is very smart and a bit more reserved than his father, but we bonded over our love of the same reality TV shows (Top Chef, Project Runway, and the guiltily enjoyed Real Housewives) and she was quite lovely. She also spoke of getting me to a Red Sox game (as she has season tickets) and about when she'll see me in New York in June. Then it was quickly time for Mex to drive me back to the bus depot, but I was so sad to go. I wanted to stay and nap and then maybe live there forever. I had an uneventful bus ride back to the city, and he was off to the Red Sox season opener with his dear mom.
I ate well, I was active, and I was/am very happy. It was a big step in the relationship, and a wonderful one, and I feel a bit lost this week without something to fret over. But that's a very good feeling.
Today's eats:
B - TJ's Honey O's, coffee, milk - 4
L - Chick & Swiss sammy, yogurt - 5
D - Chicken meatloaf, salad with feta and dressing - 5.5
S - two small tangerines, TJ's Roasted Red Pepper and Tomato soup, granny bar - 5 (And let's be honest, probably some Easter cookies because my roommate made tons and they're just sitting there, taunting me.)
Total - 19.5
Activity - Walking home, weather permitting
Thursday, April 1, 2010
Doesn't Seem Like a Maundy Thursday and What I Ate
For those of you who love Jesus and/or are taking off tomorrow to give yourself a long weekend (I qualify for at least one of those), happy almost-done-with-work! I've spent my afternoon cleaning up my desk, scheduling my upcoming snacks, and listening to Jared Leto's Bad Romance over and over, with some minor breaks to listen to The National song that Schmauren posted on my FB account. (It talks about Ohio and is awesome...so I'll share it with you!)
So last night I was a machine, and while you may think it's crazy that I take so long to get ready for a weekend trip, I've decided that I feel most relaxed after I've micromanaged everything I possibly can. To wit: I got home from work, tried on three pairs of jeans to make sure I was taking the proper two (one on my body today), tried on work outfits for today, laid out all clothes on my bed, then winnowed down my travel toiletry selection, all the while charging my iPod, cell, and camera batteries. I finally managed to pack the puzzle all together (including a pair of boots and a hairdryer, which are hard shapes to fit into a rectangular, oversized shoulder tote.) Then it was supper time, with Lost and ANTM. Mex called around then once his bus got in (yes, he beat me by about 24 hours), and I asked all my plannery questions (Is there anything specific I'll need? Any plans that I should be prepared for? Will we be walking a lot like tourists? Did you bring flip flops?) and he responded with the verbal equivalent of a grunt and a shrug. Then I painted my nails (and I got a compliment from a stranger on the subway this morning on my polish color*!) and then bathed, shaved, showered, masked my face, tweezed, waxed, called my mom, and got in bed to watch the end of Man vs. Food, then sleep. Whew.
*Polish color is Metro Chic, though it looks grayer on my nails than in this pic, by OPI for Sephora:
Food for today:
B - Special K, coffee, milk - 4
L - sammy, 3 tiny tangerines - 4/5
D - sandwich or wrap, chips (en route) - ?
S - butternut squash soup, fat free honey greek yogurt - 4
Activity - fretting, keeping my balance on bus while trying to get to the bathroom for nervous peeing
I know I'm over in points, but it's the easiest dinner to bring with me, and I don't care too much. All of my other choices have been ok and I didn't want to get hungry in traffic on the highway.
I hope you all have a lovely Easter with your friends and/or family, and I look forward to reporting back on all the weird details of someone else's kin. And his childhood bedroom, which I plan on investigating. Boston, here I come!
So last night I was a machine, and while you may think it's crazy that I take so long to get ready for a weekend trip, I've decided that I feel most relaxed after I've micromanaged everything I possibly can. To wit: I got home from work, tried on three pairs of jeans to make sure I was taking the proper two (one on my body today), tried on work outfits for today, laid out all clothes on my bed, then winnowed down my travel toiletry selection, all the while charging my iPod, cell, and camera batteries. I finally managed to pack the puzzle all together (including a pair of boots and a hairdryer, which are hard shapes to fit into a rectangular, oversized shoulder tote.) Then it was supper time, with Lost and ANTM. Mex called around then once his bus got in (yes, he beat me by about 24 hours), and I asked all my plannery questions (Is there anything specific I'll need? Any plans that I should be prepared for? Will we be walking a lot like tourists? Did you bring flip flops?) and he responded with the verbal equivalent of a grunt and a shrug. Then I painted my nails (and I got a compliment from a stranger on the subway this morning on my polish color*!) and then bathed, shaved, showered, masked my face, tweezed, waxed, called my mom, and got in bed to watch the end of Man vs. Food, then sleep. Whew.
*Polish color is Metro Chic, though it looks grayer on my nails than in this pic, by OPI for Sephora:
Food for today:
B - Special K, coffee, milk - 4
L - sammy, 3 tiny tangerines - 4/5
D - sandwich or wrap, chips (en route) - ?
S - butternut squash soup, fat free honey greek yogurt - 4
Activity - fretting, keeping my balance on bus while trying to get to the bathroom for nervous peeing
I know I'm over in points, but it's the easiest dinner to bring with me, and I don't care too much. All of my other choices have been ok and I didn't want to get hungry in traffic on the highway.
I hope you all have a lovely Easter with your friends and/or family, and I look forward to reporting back on all the weird details of someone else's kin. And his childhood bedroom, which I plan on investigating. Boston, here I come!
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