Oh, so I called for the results of my HIV test today, and the nice man who answered tried to help but then told me that no one but the doctor is allowed to tell me those results, and he was like "but this is true for negative results, too" and then later was like "she'll call you next week but let me just say, don't worry" so basically I love this man for his risky law-breaking behavior. He made it clear that I can rest easy. Why aren't more medical professionals able to talk me down so nicely?
Right, so all clear! I wasn't really worried, but it's still good news!