Move It or Lose It

Whew!  I am a normal person again after ten hours of sleep last night, and now I can tell you about my week.  Let's do it in bullets, shall we?  I love bullets.

• Tuesday night was Harpie dinner, and the theme was Men.  I made pigs in a blanket with a delicious balsamic mustard dipping sauce (also with apple slices.)  We had this mustard at the beer pairing party, and I'm obsessed with it.  Try it.  Our main course was Manwiches (made by Schmate), prosciutto-wrapped asparagus bundles (which were p-in-v), and Tom Collinses to drink.  Our dessert bringer, the only actual man, couldn't make it at the last minute, which was sad.  But there were plenty of penis jokes without him.  I also had a minor Chrohn's situation, even though we didn't eat any cheese, so I have to rethink my theories about that.  Maybe the Harpies just cause an attack?
• Wednesday I had to work from 8 until 7, and then because that meant no time to make dinner, my understanding and patient man brought over sushi and chicken udon at 8 pm.  We tried to watch Killers with Ashton and Katherine Heigl (hate), and it was awful.  
• Thursday was the big move day.  I got in at 8:30 and then left from the new space at midnight.  It was such a strange day, because we were all packed and done by noon, and had pizza and a champagne toast at the old office.  Then one of the managing partners (the more fun one) and I walked to the new space and killed time, and then we met up with four of the lawyers (who were free after lunch) at The Ginger Man for two beers, then split up and I went back to the old space then the new one (I was just killing time, basically).  I met back up with the fun managing partner and we went for tapas and sangria for dinner (it was very romantic) and then back to the space to help answer layout questions as the movers delivered stuff.  It was a super long day, but parts were fun, and I had good bonding time with the boss.  I'm hoping they remember all this at bonus time this Christmas.  I was in bed around 1 am, and entirely dead on my feet.
• Friday I was back at the office at 9 am, and it was mostly an unpacking day.  We had donuts for breakfast and pizza for lunch, and I was seriously loopy in the afternoon from exhaustion, but I felt like the move went well.  If they could just connect our internet (and e-mail), we'd be in business.  Friday evening I came home, watched Millionaire Matchmaker in bed until 10, then off to sleep until about 8:30 this morning.  I wish I could have slept in more, but I did sleep for a long time.  I may nap this afternoon, too, just because I still feel a little behind.  But much better today.
• Side note:  I'm feeling Smee's total crush on me a bit more again, which is fine since he's not actually going to do or say anything about it, but I'm not sure if I should mention that I'm seeing someone.  I mean, it would be awkward to be like, Hey, just wanted you to know... but I also don't want him to think I'm single or think something may happen when I'm currently off the market.  I'll probably just leave it, but I somehow wonder if he should know.

I think that covers it. Anyway, I want to be more positive starting today, since I have the move stress lifted off my shoulders now, and a fancy new office with a window and mismatched wooden furniture, and a cute boyfriend.  Life is grand.

Thump Day

Well, it's only Wednesday...I've done worse.

I had a lovely outdoor lunch of pizza and gelato in the sun, and now I'm ready for a nap.  But at least my to-do list at work has eased up a bit, so I have had time to catch up on some internet fun today.  I'm going to write this and then proceed with some heavy lifting, as I'm packing up boxes to send to storage before our big office move this winter.  I'm stressed about the scheduling and the work required, which is still kind of vague, but once we get a handle on the details and get the thing locked down, I'll be able to relax and git 'er done, so to speak.

This week has been quiet.  I've worked late the past two evenings, and on Monday just relaxed with more Veronica Mars, and then last night I made a Cream of Zucchini soup in order to make use of some of the five pounds of zucchini we have from our CSA.  I haven't really eaten it yet, but I tasted it and it's delicious.  It has milk, broth, brown rice, zucchini, and onion, and that all gets blended until smooth, and then you add more shredded zuc for texture, sour cream, and chopped fresh dill.  I also added some diced turkey bacon so it would have more protein and be a satisfying and healthy lunch.  I'm pretty excited about it, especially as though I'm not officially doing Weight Watchers, I try to keep an eye on my "points" eaten during the week, as that's how I've learned to judge the appropriate meal options.  It's basically a balancing act right now between my healthy work-week eating and my terrible weekend eating...unfortunately, I need to cut back more on the weekend, so I can lose these DAMN FIVE POUNDS.  Ok, or ten or fifteen.  Whatever.

I was worried things would be awkward with Smee, but on Monday he stopped by my cube first thing and smiled and started to say something but I was on the phone (I'm so busy and popular), so then I went to say hi when I was free.  I just asked how the rest of his weekend was, and we said how hungover we both were on Saturday, and he said something like "which may explain why I said..." and I just said don't worry about it, and it's been fine and smiley since.  (And I'm not sure which thing he was referencing exactly, as he may have wanted to just reject me further, but maybe not.  He seems to just generally feel guilty for certain admissions. (God, now I want to make an emissions joke, but I'll refrain.))  Which is good, because we had to spend Monday and Tuesday afternoon together in the conference room hunched over a project together.  Our arms would brush occasionally...oh butterflies.  But in a nice way, like in a "I'm confident in where I stand here, and I don't really know that I want more and can't have it anyway, so I will enjoy your giant crush on me" way.  (Ok, fine, a mutual crush that ebbs and flows.)

Remember I told you that I texted Sleeve about wanting more on Sunday?  He didn't respond to that, but texted me the usual "What's up babe?" on Monday.  So I asked if he'd gotten that text, and he said yeah, I'm sorry.  And I said "Don't be, I just want this to move one way or the other, and I don't think that's crazy, do you?"  He replied, "No, I agree."  And only that...but I haven't heard more from him, so I guess that means no actual hanging out.  What a strange bird. 

So now I'm free and clear of dumb man distractions, which is mostly good.  I did realize that I get more sad about the past when there's no boy to daydream about, but hey, sometimes I also get excited about who I'm going to meet.  I've got my photo selection ready for my online dating profile, now I just have to find the time to write the thing, preferably when I'm in a witty and clever mood.  Hopefully the stars will align this weekend.

But for now, I am looking forward to drinks tonight with Schmess (and maybe Schmannon) at Il Bambino in Astoria.  And panini (panino?)  And then tomorrow evening is Harpie dinner at Schmags' new Brooklyn digs, which I haven't seen yet.  It'll be great, and I won't worry about getting home late.  (Though the theme is celebrating the aged, so maybe being crotchety about that would be appropriate?)  I'm making

[SPOILER ALERT, HARPIES]

the appetizers, and I sort of forced it to fit the theme, but I'm using crescent roll dough (the waning moon represents old age) as a shell in mini-muffin tins with smoked gouda (like old people are smoked?) and pancetta (aged?) baked with garlic powder (old people smell like garlic?)  We'll see how it turns out. 

Enjoy the remainder of your fall-tinged week, darlings!

Slip Slidin' Away

...is what this week has done.  How are we?  Everyone around here survive the "tornado" aka nasty thunderstorm last week?  It was just hard rain in Astoria, so I was surprised to hear of the damage done further east and south.  A few of my colleagues were affected -- one lost two car windows, and the other lost his patio furniture.  It could definitely have been worse, and I'm glad they're safe.

So last weekend seems like a long time away, but for posterity, I'll give you a recap.  Friday night I had a lovely mending evening with Schmillie.  We got tacos, drank lots of wine, tried on dresses and broke her sewing machine halfway through a dress-to-apron project.  I hope it's fixable, Schmills.  It was a great night, with all the magic of henna light but less murder poop pie scenarios.  Then Saturday I met up late with Schmannon for some pool at our current favorite old-man bar.  We were totally getting smoked by the real pool sharks, but we had lots of fun and made new friends.  She picked up a very cute pool pro, and I determinedly found someone to make out with myself.  Actually, I brought him home at 6 am, which always bodes well, doesn't it?  Anyway, I kicked him out shortly thereafter, and then slept for most of Sunday.  He was a very sweet guy, but I had one of my sudden snaps of "no longer into it," and then was just not interested.  I don't think we have a lot in common, plus he was really sweaty, and it grossed me out.  So of course he called me that afternoon.  I texted him that night, but then he called Monday to tell me not to call him for some reason that I couldn't understand as the voicemail broke up, but I mostly wanted to say that I wasn't exactly looking to date.  And between you and me, I'm not looking to date a drummer who works in a bar.  Yes, I'm a snob.

Anyway, last week was pretty calm.  On Monday I talked to Sleeve for two hours and we made a plan that he'd walk me back from the bank on Tuesday.  (Oh, did I tell you this?  I ran into him in my bank on Friday and Monday -- we work near each other and apparently our offices both use the same one.  Weird.)  So it was this big plan of our "first date" (ha) etc., then comes Tuesday and I text him when I'm going (as planned) and he says his boss already went and he can't get out of work.  Neat.  This guy is insane, as he's so into me and the plan when we actually make a plan, then blows me off.  And makes me text him first before he tells me?  Anyway, it was less of a surprise at this point, but still mind-boggling.  Of course there's still sexy texting all week, but at this point it's just entertainment for me, or at least it was this past week.  It's not really entertaining anymore.  I hear from him every day, but I just said (literally, just now) that it's getting frustrating for me and I want more.  We'll see if he responds to that one.  (And I kept it vague as to whether I want more from him or just more.  But it's weird to get a dirty text message from him when I'm out with another boy I'm interested in, you know?)

Wednesday night I met my new dodgeball team for drinks.  Our first game is this Tuesday, but it was supposed to be a meet-and-greet of sorts.  It was fun!  I liked the two new guys I met, and there was a guy from my kickball team who was fun to see again, and then Schmannon stopped by and Schmess came later.  Plus, two of the three boys were cute.  Bonus.

Friday was pretty quiet at work, with some people out due to the storm's consequences, and so Smee came by and asked me to lunch.  I didn't realize it was just the two of us until we were walking out!  It made me a little nervous, but it was really nice.  We sat at the bar at The Ginger Man and ate and had a few beers, and made it a long Friday date lunch, actually.  I mean, it was datish in that we were like totally facing each other and having good conversation and he paid.  So we get back to the office after two, and I said, um, can we go back at 5?  He said totally.  So yeah, we left at 5 and went to a bar across the street on 36th, The Archive, as it was a bit quieter and had more room.  Um, then we got drunk.  I think I got home at midnight.  I'd started with pumpkin beer at lunch, which isn't the lightest, and then had Blue Moons, and he'd switched to Ketel One and tonic.  It was still fun, but I am embarrassed by one emotional moment I had where he'd said he was wondering if I'd be wanting more than my current job -- like a more challenging one.  I hate when I'm drunk and something triggers a response that brings tears to my eyes and I have NO CONTROL.  I know it freaks people out and I hate it, so yeah, that happened, but I just apologized profusely and he was all worried, and I tried to change the subject.  Argh.  I clearly have buried issues about not living up to my potential.  Damn it.  And then later (after things had returned to normal), I did tease him about the Frisbee Freakout.  He played dumb at first.  I was like, fine, but I think you know something'sok, I like you.  I do.  I really like you.  But it can't happen," or something like that.  He said that imagine if when they offered to make him partner, and he'd have to say "By the way, I'm dating your Office Manager..."  I said I'd already figured that was the situation, but I was surprised he'd have to tell them, but he said he would.  I guess it is a very small and close office, so I can see it.  It wasn't really upsetting, since I'd already figured it out, but it's still sobering to hear it out loud.  (Ha, not that sobering though.)  We left soon after, and he walked me to a cab.  We texted a little bit while I was going home, and agreed that it sucked, and he asked if we were OK, and I said yes, I think so, but asked what he thought.  He said that we talked about it so he feels OK.  Which made me feel less like I'd pressed the issue, as he seemed happy to have cleared the air, and we all know I like to do that.  Even if later I feel over-aggressive paranoia.

Saturday I felt awful and hungover and stayed in bed all day, watching tv and sleeping.  I've been in a funk all weekend, and I don't think it's directly because of that, but just in general I feel like I'm narrowing options without really finding new ones.  (Oh, Al called a few more times during the week and texted once, so I finally just texted on Saturday that it wasn't a good time for me dating-wise, but that he was sweet, and I'd look forward to running into him again.  He said sweet.)  It's good that I'm not trying to date any of these guys, but I also am discouraged that no one is really going to be what I'm looking for.  Well, enough of that, but I'm still sort of sad.  At least I did laundry and cleaned the house a bit today, so I feel like a sort-of normal member of society.

I'm sure there's more to mull over, but that's the main haps and this is long enough.  Until next time...

The Doldrums

So I actually have time to say hello WHILE I'M AT WORK, but sadly, not a ton to say.  This week has been very quiet and a bit lonely but not in a terrible way.  Schmate was telling me recently that she gets bored if she's alone for any significant period of time, and I realized being home alone with no possibility of the roommate returning soon is very different than stolen alone time with the threat of a roommate at any minute.  I'm getting a little bored, if we're being honest here.  But I managed to wrestle up (that's not spelled right, iis it?  What's that expression?) Sunday and Monday plans that I'm very much looking forward to, and who knows what'll come up between now and then?  If nothing else, I can ride out the storm (which is probably not going to be very exciting) with movies in my bed, which is a very pleasurable thing.

I kept up the icy treatment of Smee for about a day and a half, and honestly, if you know me at all, you know it was more like a cooling fan treatment than icy.  We're not back to after-work communication or anything, but I sort of understand his reaction and am pretty much fine with it.  It's really odd, but I feel like we sort of have an understanding even though we haven't talked about it...which may be all in my head, but I just know he's very career-oriented and sensitive to the rules and he likes me but can't really do anything about it.  I think that's the case, anyway.  We'll see, but I'm not really worried about it.  He came by just now to say goodbye, since he's leaving a bit early today, and we talked about our weekend plans again, and I was saying that the bar crawl I'm crashing on Monday (well, Schmannon invited me) is in Astoria, and should be fun.  He said that he's still never been to Astoria, and I said you should visit sometime, it's nice, and he kind of moved on, but these are situations where I'd want to invite him but I feel like I shouldn't.  I feel like he's sort of hinting, too, but that might be in my head.  I guess being patient has paid off thus far, so I should continue, RIGHT?  (I think this whole paragraph is really manic, actually, now that I re-read it.  Whatever, welcome to my brain.)

OH, and yesterday when I was leaving, we talked for awhile while I stood in his door, and he mentioned that after his mom died, no one was home to know if he got detention at school (the conversation was about detention initially), and I said I didn't know his mom had died, AND OMG, he told me that his mom and younger sister were killed in a car crash when he was 15, his grandma was severely injured and spent months in the hospital, and he walked away with some cuts but that's it.  They were all in the car.  It's SO SAD.  And then his dad died in the early 2000s from a broken heart and drinking himself to death.  Good Lord.  And he was totally fine telling me this but I was starting to get emotional (no tears though), and he's all "I'm sorry, I thought you knew" and I was like "Don't be sorry!  But God!"  He talked about how he feels like he dealt with it pretty well and he knows it's cliche, but it's made him stronger, etc.  I was just totally impressed with the contrast to Mex, honestly.  I gave Mex a whole lot of leeway because I figured his parents' divorce when he was young had screwed him up pretty well, but look at how Smee came through something even more traumatic (though I know that's a relative scale) and put effort in to overcome it and deal with the issues around it.  I'm simplifying the issue, but basically I admire his attitude towards it and it made me even more aware of what sort of man I want in my life. 

And scene.  I'm about to bounce, but I wish you all a very wonderful long weekend!  I should have some stories next week if all goes as I expect...

Boyzzz Update

I find it odd that just as I'm writing my blog last night about the stupid men in my orbit, who should start drunkenly texting me (at like 8 pm) but Mex?  Of course, now that I've stopped thinking about him much at all, he appears to say "I wish it were different; this world is stupid.  Or, silly at least."  Yes, that is what he said.  It sort of freaked me out with the vague darkness, so I responded "What's going on?" and it went from there, as he was drunk and saying odd vague things, as he likes to do, and I get frustrated trying to figure out the point.  I finally asked what he wanted, to which he responded "nothing good" and COME ON BUDDY, HAVE A CONVERSATION LIKE NORMAL PEOPLE.  Whatever, it's not throwing me off like it has in the past.  He did ask if I wanted to meet up and play pool, and he said he missed me a lot, and I said that I didn't want to see him.  So that was good, on my part, at least.  And I know I'm supposed to not care at all, but I feel a bit vindicated that he misses me.  I hope it hurts forever, buddy.  And I don't miss him, which is nice.  I miss having someone, but certainly not someone like that.  But still, I wish he'd just grow up and change his life if he hates it so much.  I believe the phrase "living in a nightmare" was used.  Hi, you have control of that.  Loser.

So yeah, unfortunately I've thought about him more today as a result of it.  Nothing really concrete, he's just popped into my head.  I don't want him back, but I wish he weren't so gross, and I still wonder how he went so wrong.  But it's a detached feeling, too, and that's good.  I just want to get back to forgetting about him entirely.

And I talked to my other female work friend today about the Smee Frisbeegate.  She's a very calm, sort of the opposite of boy-crazy person, and she just laughed at his lack of suaveness and reminded me of how paranoid he is about inappropriateness at work.  She's said he probably left the Frisbee then went back to his desk and started panicking and debating if he should go back and get it before I saw it...which I can see.  So he'd worked himself into a lather by the time I stopped by.  She also said that some of the partners may frown upon a special relationship of that sort, and that's probably his concern...and he's also worked up because he knows he has feelings.  Anyway, she also made me feel not insane, and we laughed at his paranoia.  I'm still keeping my distance, OH and she advised to let him make any first moves that may occur, as he'll need to or else be totally freaked out.  Which is fine with me -- I'm not about to proposition him.  And I also am determined to be less aggressive in my future male relationships.  It makes me self-conscious and I don't want to have to be, even though waiting for men makes me very impatient.  Stupid men, why do I love you so much?

And...tonight's veggie share also had PEACHES AND PLUMS.  God, I want to marry summer stone fruit.  Or maybe I should name my first daughter Summer Stone Fruit?

Boyz in the Hood

So a few updates on the men in my life…ha.  Maybe then men in my peripheral vision is a better way of putting that…?

I texted with Sleeve a bit on Friday night, while drinking Nancies and feeling saucy.  He was flirty, calling me “f*cking cute” and telling me he thinks about me constantly, which is laying it on a bit thick…  but it’s nice to hear/read.  But nothing since then, so I wonder if it’s tapered off.  It’s amusing for what it is, but that’s not much.  And because I have such faith in men lately, I sort of wonder if he’s got a girlfriend.  I know the night I met him, his friends were teasing him about some girl, but it seemed like it was an ex.  Still, in hindsight, I don’t really know.  I won’t be too upset if he disappears, as I’m not too into him anyway, but I will miss someone sending me sweet nothings.

AND THEN, so Smee and I have this flirty friendly thing going, but as I’ve said all along, it’s never clearly crossed the friendship line which made it safe and still fun.  I mean, you know I’m mostly into him, but I also have my hesitations and it was again nice to not have anything to decide or figure out, just enjoy.  Especially as just this past weekend I was talking about how it had cooled off a bit recently…which was fine.  

ANYWAY, yesterday was the usual, some convos, he comes by to ask me how Boston was, I yammered to him about something later, he comes to get me to eat lunch with them in the conference room (because the guys all go buy something, and I pack, so when they get back he comes to tell me they’re back so I can come eat with them), etc.  At lunch he was telling me how some guy who was in the office on Friday afternoon (who used to rent space there and was clearing some stuff out) had given Smee a Frisbee from the second Charlie’s Angels movie…to which I reply “Full Throttle?” and then smacked my forehead.  We laughed about how I actually know the name of it, even though I never saw it.  And then the conversation moves on.

I go to the bank in the afternoon, as usual, and when I’m back, the Charlie’s Angels: Full Throttle Frisbee is on my desk.  It was cute, and timely, as I had just seen a homeless guy covered in his own puke on the sidewalk and could use something funny.  So I go to his doorway (where I often stand when we chat as I pass by), and smile knowingly, and he smiles, and it’s cute, and then his expression changes and he says “Oh, but it doesn’t mean anything…” and I was confused and said “What?!” and he was sort of stumbling over his words (and I’m sure my very expressive face looked sort of horrified) and he said, “Well, I just value our friendship so I wouldn’t…” and I was like “WHAT?!” and then he said nevermind, and I gave him a look like he was crazy, and then I said “I thought it was nice…and I needed that after [homeless guy puke story].”  I was trying to change the subject as quickly as possible…and he was bright red.  That was it, the conversation trailed off, I walked away, but as I was turning, said “Oh, and I don’t know what you’re talking about,” and then gave a flirty smile over my shoulder.  UM, WHAT?  I know my reaction was weird, but it was even weirder that he said that AFTER GIVING ME A FRISBEE.  I mean, come on!  Oh, and then he needed my help with the postage meter about 20 minutes later, and we awkwardly pretended nothing had happened.

I initially felt rejected and angry, because how/why could he give me a “let her down easy” speech after putting a damn Frisbee on my desk?  Did he think I was somehow being inappropriate?  Did I misread the situation?  But I didn’t even do anything yesterday!  I did send him a link to Lazy Sunday as he had never seen it, but that’s not exactly a proposition.  I was very sure we were both on the same page, and frankly, I still am.  So my poor friends had to let me work through this verbally last night when we went to the (hot, fun) Yankee game (thanks guys!), and their opinions were varied, but basically they thought he was freaked out and I should just act normal and NOT try to clear the air (because you know I want that), but they’re right.  I also wondered later on if perhaps he was so freaked out himself that he sort of went to the opposite, defensive place, and maybe it wasn’t as negative about me as it seemed.  I realize I sound like I’m rationalizing, but it doesn’t make sense, especially after today.  I was pretty cold towards him, just skipping any social interaction and when he got me for lunch (like normal) I just said “Oh, ok!” and didn’t smile or anything.  Yes, that sounds like things boys don’t notice, but he noticed.  At lunch I sat far away from him (as opposed to across, like I usually do) and he watched me all lunch.  Normally he does that and we make lots of eye contact with special smiles, but today that only happened once because I accidentally looked at him and he beamed at me.  I told my paralegal friend there about it, and she thought he was acting like he felt like a dick, and he kept wanting my attention and would look to see if I was watching while telling any story or whatever.  Yes, she may just be being a good girlfriend, but I know he was watching me.  I’m not crazy, internet!

Basically it was a totally strange way to bring up the topic, but at least he’s the one that brought it up and I can play it cool right now.  I’m still not sure what it means about what he’s thinking, but it’s not really my problem, I guess.  It seems he’s not sure what he’s thinking, either, but I’m going to (for once in my life) sit back and not worry about the implications of it all.  I guess my worst-case scenario was that he thought I was in puppy love with him and he needed to give me a talking-to, but I really don’t think that’s the case.  My job is to look HOTT at work and see what/if anything happens.

From 6 Boys to 5 Napkins

What a lovely two days of FALL PREVIEW weather!  Yes, I know it's raining, but it's in the sixties.  There is a cool breeze.  There are sweats to wear.  It's delightful.  And today is extra delightful because I got a kiss and a hug before I left for work.  I walked out of my front door at the same time as my downstairs hot chef neighbor, and we said hello, and crossed paths on the sidewalk in front of our house.  (He has a separate entrance for the basement apartment.)  As I walked by, I said "Have a good day!" and he sort of grabbed me for a hug and cheek kiss, and I made a surprised noise and he laughed.  It was cute and impulsive, and made me smile all the way to work!  Besides, he's hot.  Though there is some speculation from the more manly Italian neighbors that he's gay.  It didn't help that he came home late Friday night with a dude, but they could've just been having a man sleepover!  And I don't really care either way...just kiss me with that stubbly cheek, dude.  And cook me some mussels.

Anyway, let's talk about what I've been up to.  Friday I was so tired after all of Thursday's excitement that I went home with a nap in mind.  My neighbor on the other side, a young married dude, was out on their stoop with his neighborhood friends (as they all grew up in Astoria) drinking beer and tequila.  I've met most of them before, and we all said hi when I got home from work.  Married Neighbor (MN) offered me a beer, but I passed, saying I had drank all day the day before.  So I tried to nap and failed for like 90 minutes, then watched The Invention of Lying, and anytime I'd go out for a smoke, MN would ask me to come over.  (He's very nice, by the way, and I like him and his friends.  I've gone to a 4th of July party there before.  I was just in pj's and not feeling social.)  Finally I caved and ran in to put on a bra under my sleepshirt/dress thing, and then sat down with them and started in on the Bud Lights.  I was out there till 4:30, my friends.  They were all really nice, though MN became Drunk MN and began telling me how I'm hot, and he'd massage my shoulders/leg, put his hat on me, play with my hair, etc., but I was treating him a bit like a pesky child and just trying to brush it off, as he was so wasted he could barely speak.  One of the other boys, Sleeve, used to live in my first Astoria apartment, in the basement unit.  His mom owned the building and was my landlord, so I've known him forever, though we never really spoke too much.  Anyway, he and I talked a lot, and he wants me to play on his fall softball team, and he wants to cook me dinner, and we were making all of these sorts of plans that people do.  He got my number, and more on this shortly.  All in all, it was such a good time.  I was in pj's, without makeup, hanging out with six dudes (half were married), most of whom complimented me at some point.  I was told I was hot and I met a boy.  I mean, that's a pretty good night, right?

So after everyone leaves at about 4:30, Sleeve and I were texting and he was saying he wished he would've kissed me, and I was so cute, etc.  Being drunk, I said well, maybe you should come back here and kiss me now.  Then he calls, and he's all like "Oh my god, I want to kiss you for hours, but if I come over there we won't just kiss, and I want to do this the right way.  I like you, I want to take you out.  Let's hang out tomorrow afternoon around 3 or 4, ok?" etc.  He's also more graphic but I will spare you.  A word about Sleeve:  He's a big Italian American dude, he boxes, he plays a lot of sports, he's loud and full of swagger around his guy friends, he makes gross jokes, and it half turns me off and half turns me on.  I'm also only medium attracted to him, but we'll see -- I like his body, because he's tall and strong, but I have to see the face again I think.  Basically he's not the type I'm used to, but I'm willing to see what happens.  It's nice, though, because I'm not very wrapped up in it, just curious.  So it's not getting to me yet.

So SATURDAY.  I sleep until about 10, which was not long enough but hungover me can no longer sleep in.  I meet Schmess for brunch at Vesta, which was delish, then head back home to bed.  I think I have plans with Sleeve, but I don't set an alarm.  I'm awakened at 4:30 pm by a text from him, saying he'd slept that whole time, he was exhausted.  We just text chatted for a little while, with no mention of hanging out.  Finally later, I was getting ready to head to Schmillie's BIRTHDAY PARTY, and I sent him one to say I was leaving soon, and ask if he was coming with me.  (This had been discussed previously.)  No immediate response, so I happily set off to Brooklyn.  He texted while I was en route to say he was at his Mom's (I knew he was possibly going to go see her, as she lives in NJ now), and maybe we could meet up later.  Meh.

So Schmillie's party was at The Richardson in Williamsburg.  It was so great!  I was the first to arrive, which gave me time to fully check out the surroundings, and I really liked the bar.  They had very fun old-fashioned cocktails and a very tempting food menu, and it was very speakeasy-ish in decor.  Then everyone arrives, and Schmillie can tell you more about it here, but she looked lovely and sexy and it was good to see her friends who I now consider my own, as well as hang out with Schmannon and Schmerin.  Then I was fading fast at midnight, so shared a cab back to Astoria with Schmannon and went right to bed. 

Sunday I woke up at a reasonable hour, had some coffee, and got inspired by the rainy weather and lack of internet at home to take myself to the movies!  First, I called my Grandma to wish her a happy birthday a week late.  I'm terrible.  My mom had reminded me to call, but then I forgot, then when I'd remember it'd be at like 11 pm or while I was out drinking, which are not good times to call your 84-year-old grandmother.  Then I texted Sleeve to say that I'd gone home right after the party, as I was so tired, and asked about his visit with his mom.  Anyway, then Eat Pray Love!  I really liked it.  I had read the book, so I knew what to expect, and I always love Julia Roberts.  She just makes me happy.  I realize the movie doesn't solve life's problems and is another sort of consumer-driven religious grab bag (yes, I read you, critics), but basically it's a nice story with beautiful scenery, and I did really relate to some points the main character makes.  The idea of pouring so much of your love into your significant other that you lose yourself, or that you have nothing left when it ends, and things like that.  Things about holding something back for yourself.  Things about Javier Bardem.  The movie spoke to me a bit, and it was very good timing.  Then, because I love myself so much, I took myself out for linner at 5 Napkin Burger, as they just opened a location by the Astoria movie theater.  OH MY GOD.  Go.  I got the Original burger with Tuscan fries, and sat at the bar, and contemplated my good fortune.  I also took half home for later.  Then a quick stop at the grocery store, before heading home to watch Disk 1 of The Brothers Donnelly, because I like the man candy. 

All in all, a wonderful weekend.  I alternately felt flattered by men, loved by friends, and treasured by myself.  (Sorry, gag.)  But I'm having a lot more good days and feel like I'm really excited about where I am and where I'm going in life, and I haven't had that for awhile.  So anyway, thanks for letting me vent all that mushy stuff.

Last night I Skyped with Britch, which was lovely.  Hopefully we'll get back to doing it frequently enough so that we don't have to talk for three hours to just catch up.  I ate plums and peaches from our CSA, which are just divine, and I sat around in sweats and loved the temperature.  Oh, and then Sleeve finally texts me (after no response on Sunday) and says "What's up babe??"  Right.  I text back a little later and say what is up, which is Catching up on tv, eating plums, and wishing I were at a bonfire.  And ask what is up with him.  Basically.  Then no response again.  So he seriously just sent me a What's up babe text with no follow-up.  Man, I don't get this guy's approach.  I feel like he could've been so money after that "I want to do this right and take you on a date thing" and now he's screwing it up.  I mean, that was sort of a golden ticket for the actual date.  Oh well, I feel a sort of detached bemusement, so we'll see what happens. 

I'm working on blurring out the faces of a picture of Smee and I from the golf outing...so look for that soon!  I mean, I guess it's pointless if you can't see our faces, but whatever.  Happy Tuesday!  And don't worry all you cold-weather haters, summer will be back at the end of the week.

I'm doing my best to be energetic enough to write you the recap you so rightfully deserve, but man, I AM TIRED today, friends.  It doesn't help that there are only about four people in my office right now, and we're the young ones.  I'm blasting Pandora on my speakers, which makes it feel a bit like a party, though.  (Just up: Bruce and Van Morrison.  So it's a mellow party.)

Yesterday was great!  I'll tell you right off the bat that there wasn't anything as clear as a make-out session with Smee, but that would have been difficult while surrounded by colleagues.  I arrived with Queens-female-lawyer friend, and come to find out that Smee and I are wearing matching outfits.  (It's not really fair, as he knew what I was wearing ahead of time and he said he was wearing WHITE.  Instead we were navy/khaki twins.)  It was all bashful smiles, as usual.  After some warming up on the driving range/putting area (I tried too!), we all headed in for lunch and he was across from me, the better to gaze into my eyes.  (Don't think I'm not aware of how he positions himself to sit near me or across from me at all times, even when the table is 6-seats long.)  Anyway, everyone was in jolly spirits, even those arriving late after being stuck in traffic, and we started the drinking with our sandwiches and salads.  Then it was tee-time for my group, and off we went!  I was going to ride in Smee's cart per the boss' decision, but as the girl would need to use the nearer tees, it was decided the boys would ride together and so would the girls.  I think it worked out better that way, as I could be silly and have fun and he could miss me sometimes. 

So it really was great, driving the golf cart, cheering them on, taking the turns too quickly, and drinking beers.  For those of you who know me, I'll post some pictures next week -- Smee took mine from my memory card today and is going to put them on a CD with his, so they'll all be together.  Which is good since I wasn't really in any of my pictures, but he took a lot of me, so it worked out.  (Me looking off into the distance unaware, me making silly faces, me leaning in to kiss the female lawyer's face, me awkwardly waving, etc.)

We stopped for bathroom breaks and to re-stock on beer after the 9th hole, and then off to the course again.  I will say that it's nice how long a golf game lasts, so you can really enjoy the beautiful scenery and the mansions around the country club and every once in awhile, a gentle breeze in the shade.  It was also good that one of the main firm partners was in our foursome, so we had good bonding time.  He kept encouraging me to try hitting, and I would try, but good lord, I was bad.  You know how I prefer not to participate in activities if I'm not good at them!  So I'd try, but decided my calling was of the driving/cracking jokes/swilling beer variety.  He's telling me that next year will be my year, however.

After we got back to the clubhouse and posed for some pictures, it was time to shower and get pretty, and it felt AMAZING after being in the hot sun all day.  Plus the club had very nice amenities.  Our female paralegal was very drunk, we'd discover, as she began talking to herself in the shower and throwing things.  Amazing.  I got all pretty, even blow-drying my hair, and emerged back upstairs in the bar to meet the approving eyes of my male co-workers.  I felt like a lady, and that's always fun after being rough & tumble all day.  (Luckily, I never actually tumbled.  There was one close call where I almost tossed MYSELF out of the golf cart while driving, though.)  Once everyone had assembled, we moved into the dining room, where Smee sat to my right (at one of the heads of the table) and we made conversation with others but mostly sort of whispered to ourselves.  I couldn't help it, I was about 9 beers deep at this point.  (Though female co-worker told me I didn't seem drunk, which is FANTASTIC.  I can hold it pretty well, I think -- I just get silly.  And I stuck with beer, which helped.)  Dinner was amazing -- a salad buffet, then a meat/potato buffet with beer tenderloin, pork, lobster, fingerling potatoes, sweet potato fries, baked beans, etc., and then a dessert buffet with pie, cake and ICE CREAMS.  I actually managed not to overstuff myself too badly, but it was all so delicious. 

Then it was time to leave (at about 8:30 pm.)  We all wandered slowly towards the exit, and someone had to go back to find the drunk paralegal, and then the boys from Manhattan got into their car service, but not before Smee took my arm to pull me back from a car that was pulling up nearby.  (I'm sure I was in mortal danger.)  We stayed touching for a bit, and we talked about whether they were going out in the city, but I wouldn't fit in their car, and he said it'd be a long way for me to travel in from Astoria (wistfully, I like to think), but I shrugged and said, Well, text me, and got in with female lawyer to head back.  He did text within five minutes to say that everyone was pooping out, so they weren't going out, and I said it was probably best, but another time?  He said definitely.  We texted a little more once home, and said goodnight.

It's very strange because I totally have that "it's on" feeling, like when you meet a guy at a bar and you know it's on, right?  But it's staying in this "it's on" area, though that's probably still a good thing.  It's just strange, and also we have flirtier and then less flirty moments, which I guess is natural for co-workers.  Do those of you who have co-worker romances know what I mean?  Is this normal?  Today he brought his iPad to show me his pictures, and there were really a lot of me, and I remember him taking them and feeling so in the spotlight, in a good way.  It's nice.  Oh, and there's a good one of the two of us, too... lots of arm-arounding.

Sigh.  Wow, this post is totally more boy crazy than usual.  But yesterday was great in general, and I had lots of good girl bonding time with the female lawyer, too, which I appreciated.  I really like her.  She's sort of subdued and sarcastic and tomboyish, though she looks like a model, and I like the contrast.  And the downside to all this crushing on Smee is that at one point he loudly declared that he was raised Roman Catholic but is now an Atheist.  Man, that was a Debbie Downer.  I've mostly become OK with Agnostics, but full-on Atheist might be a struggle.  It just seems unneccessarily stubborn.  But that's getting ahead of myself. 

OH ONE MORE THING.  I had to upgrade Smee's BlackBerry this week, and he got a new one on Tuesday but it was going to be replaced because one of the buttons was messed up, and it came today and I set it up and he immediately BBM requested me again.  Aww.  AND ONE MORE he was talking about the Summer Streets thing this weekend, where they're closing Park Avenue to cars and it's all pedestrian, and how he'd like to go, and it was said in a way that someone would if they were about to invite you, but it didn't get there.  Hmm.

Anyway, tonight is going to be low-key, and I think I have a date with Netflix.  I am going to have a hard time with no home internet this weekend, though...that means no Veronica Mars.  Tomorrow I have brunch plans with Schmess, and then it's Schmillie's birthday party at night!  Happy 30, lady!  Sunday will be recovery/laziness, I think.  I won't be able to blog due to no internet, but I'll be back next week.  I've really gotten better again, huh?

Manic Panic

I feel unreasonably excited about this firm golf outing tomorrow--as in, someone should lower her expectations, I think.  Here are the reasons I'm excited:

• I get to sleep in.
• I love day trips, especially up in the Westchester area.
• I love drinking iced coffee while riding in someone's car and being the navigator.
• I get to live the high life at a country club.
• I get to drive a golf cart.
• I get to keep the golf score and possibly accept creative bribes.
• I get to day drink.  Beer.
• I get to drink while driving a golf cart that contains the suits all getting silly.
• I get to dress up in a costume -- as a country club golfer.
• Along those lines, my one boss (who's in my golf foursome) today asked what color outfit I was wearing tomorrow, then promised me a visor.  He visited his brother's office at lunch, and brought me back a navy one with a merchant ship on the front.  (It's the bro's company logo, but very understated.)  I am calling it a pirate ship.  I have a visor with a pirate ship on it.

• I have a crush on at least one of the boys going.
• This boy named Smee probably/maybe has a crush on me.
• And his new golf bag has an insulated pocket for storing more beer.  
• And today I let him borrow my freezer pack cooler thingies so I feel involved.  It's our pocket now.
• I get to spend the entire day with my favorite work friends, plus then have a BBQ dinner while wearing my best sexy blue wrap dress and metallic goldish heels, and then most likely go out on the town back in Manhattan with said favorite work friends.
• Along those lines, that means I get to do an outfit/hair change in the middle of this maximum-time-with-crush day.  
• And I am wearing the visor right now.

Soooo obviously it can't be as epic as I think, yes?  I need to chill out, but when your boss interrupts your meeting with the accountant today to say, "Sorry, but I have an important question." [Looks at me...]  "Is Heineken Light OK?"  It means things are gonna start getting real.  (Oh dear...when you spell Heineken correct on your first attempt, it might mean you have a problem.)

My internet at home was out last night, which drove me crazy as I had a Skype date with Britch!  I managed to download Skype to my BlackBerry and we talked for awhile that way, though I'm a little worried about data usage [this is when your eyes glaze over...]  Anyway, it's being spotty tonight so I'm hoping I can post this when I'm done.  Stupid Time Warner needs to die a thousand fiery deaths.

Not much else is going on here...it's looking like the potential movie night in the Sculpture Garden will get rained out, which is OK as Schmess had to cancel anyway, and I'm trying to be quiet so my upstairs SWF neighbor won't know I'm home and avoiding her invite to come up for a potluck/movie night with her friends.  She's getting weirder, people...I feel mean, but not so mean that I'm willing to be her instant best friend.

So here's hoping that I won't end up shedding any clothes while drunk driving a golf cart tomorrow (like we did in high school, RIGHT BRITCH?)  If I do end up streaking, I promise you I'll keep the visor on.  I will report back, but please lower your expectations on my behalf.  Thanks.

Update on Golf Outing with Smee

So I was just rambling about the firm Golf Outing, then published the last post, then my desk phone rings and it's Smee.  He says that our foursome for Thursday will be one of the managing partners, the girl lawyer who we are both close with (don't worry, she has a boyfriend,) AND HIM.  He said "That what I was just in [partner's] office figuring out."

This means he arranged it, or at least helped, so that our little friendly group of three would hang out all afternoon, plus the partner. 

I asked what would happen if it rains, and he said the forecast keeps getting better.

Sigh.

Weekenderrr

Good morning!  How are we doing?  Are we enjoying these waning days of summer?  (Who am I kidding, I'm sure it'll be hot into October at the rate we're going.)

I had a great weekend.  My roomie's been out of town so I had the place to myself, which is always a nice treat.  And also nice because while most of the time I'm happier alone, I do occasionally miss somebody's presence around the house, so it affirms that maybe I'm maybe not quite ready to live without a roommate.  This is useful to remember during those times when she drives me crazy.

So Friday night I turned down a beer garden invite in favor of staying in, doing laundry, cleaning (I even cleaned the globes from the light fixtures in my room), and then starting to watch Veronica Mars on Netflix Watch Instantly.  And then I couldn't stop.  Seriously, I knew people were really into this show a few years ago, so I thought I'd check it out, but the mystery hook is so good at the end of each episode that I just kept going until about 1 am.  It was lovely.

Saturday I met Thighs/Shmannon at 1:30 pm for a day of Astoria pool-playing/bar-hopping.  It was really fun, and our only meals came from food trucks (Falafel King and that awesome taco place on 30th Ave), and we played at four places total (though it seemed like more), two pool halls and two old man bars.  I got home at about 10:30 pm and was asleep by midnight, too!  I was pretty tispy but surprisingly not wasted after that long of a beer day.  I think it helped that we were drinking Miller High Lifes (MiHiLis.) 

Sunday I woke up at 5 am because beer does that to me now, and I was starving so I ordered some breakfast from a 24-hour diner (delivery), then ate half and watched an episode of Veronica Mars, then went back to sleep until about 11.  Sunday afternoon I watched more VM, got a mani/pedi, and then did some food prep for my dinner party last night.  Sunday evening I met Schmillie, Tobly, and Schmauren at Chat 'N' Chew for a lovely mac&cheesey, bacony dinner, then we walked to 16 Handles for delicious fro yo.  And since it was originally supposed to be a pool party at Schmauren's posh hotel but we got rained out, we started at 5:30 so I was home around 7!  I do like that on a Sunday night.  I need decompression time before the work week.

Last night was our monthly Harpie dinner, and I was the hostess.  Our theme was beer, since national Beer Day is in August, and here was the menu:  Schmate made beer-battered onion rings for our appetizer, then Schmags made mussels in a white beer broth, then I made beer-marinated flank steak fajitas, and then Schmammie made a Chocolate Stout Cake.  SO GOOD.  So much food, of course.  I love having a regularly-scheduled time when I can see my earliest NYC friends.

So now I need to stop eating so much, as I ate all weekend and last night. :)  But I have leftovers!  And a giant piece of cake in the fridge!  Oh well, I won't worry too much about it.  We wouldn't want to waste food, would we?

There was a slight hiccup in my mental health over the weekend, as one of the bar owners we saw on Saturday (who I've known for awhile from when I used to frequent his establishment more often) told me that Mex with there a girl about three weeks ago.  And I knew who it was based on a convo I'd had with Mex in the past.  So I was upset, mostly because while I'm not surprised he's still drinking and sleeping with inappropriate women, I don't want to know about it.  So I text-yelled at him for awhile this weekend, basically saying take your trash elsewhere.  Ideally I could shake it off, but obviously I can't yet.  So here's to shaking it off this week!

On Thursday we're supposed to have our work outing to one of the firm partner's country clubs for golf and a BBQ.  I would be riding along in the cart and drinking beer, not playing golf, don't worry.  AND THEN work boyfriend* said we (the young ones) should get drinks in the city afterwards.  Unless he meant we (he and me).  Unfortunately the forecast doesn't look so hot, but I super hope it doesn't get cancelled, as this will be my chance to drink and be more social with work boyfriend*.  He'd said yesterday he was worried about rain, but that we'd have to do something anyway...  TBD.  But I want to haaaang out.

*I believe I've settled on a name that isn't Diabetes.  Schmannon and I were discussing this on Saturday...and we worked around to Smee!  Isn't that great?  Doesn't everyone love Smee?  It's because I'm so creative with most nicknames (that is sarcasm) and I was thinking Schmoe, and then that led to Smee.  So I'm sticking with it.

Well, tonight I finally have a Skype date with Britch, and that will be nice.  Tomorrow night I may see an outdoor movie in Socrates Sculpture Park in Astoria, though the forecast doesn't look so hot for that, either.  All in all, it should be a good week.