Doin' the Humpty Hump

Well, we made it to Wednesday together.  It's actually warm out, and the change is a little welcome.  I'm OK to go back to winter after this, but a slightly more interesting day does break up the monotony.

Last night I compromised on my gym intentions and did the Jillian Michael's 30 Day Shred DVD at home.  Well, initially Hike was going to come over, but he had to work late and so we pushed that off until tonight after my book club.  So then I felt I should finally exercise again, and I did.  For 20 minutes.  But I sweated and panted and jumped, people!  There is nothing more motivating and frightening than wearing a sports bra and little shorts and doing jumping jacks in front of the full-length mirror in one's bedroom.  And I have a bit of soreness today, which is a good souvenir.  While I think my weight is heading in the right direction again, I'm feeling a bit self-critical about the jiggly-ness of it all (and you know how the red tide can affect our view in the mirror, right?)  But I'm in a good position to be toned by the summer, if I can keep on task.  Maybe I'll even be able to wear two-pieces in front of my boyfriend?  Which is silly when you consider what else I wear in front of him (ahem), but you know...

Otherwise I'm glad the weekend is on the horizon.  I hate that I feel like that every day now, but I'm really LOVING my weekends and I'm in sort of the doldrums at work.  I know it'll pass, but right now I'm one of those rats in the rat race.  What can you do? 

Tonight is book club, and then a visit from Hike and hopefully we'll be watching the original True Grit -- he's supposed to get it from Netflix today.  I am looking forward to comparing and contrasting. 

Yes, life is rather boring at the moment, but it's really good, too. 

Good Mood Swing

Well I'm feeling rather jolly at the moment, and there's not an exact reason, but I'm going to just enjoy this upswing in my mood.  The combination of not smoking and PMS has been pretty lovely lately, so at least this is the benefit of the ol' rollercoaster.

Last night I snow hiked (fine, walked) to the library to return a book by the 6 pm closing.  Please tell me why they can't keep the drop-off box unlocked when the library is closed.  Fine, I know there are vandals, but there are also loyal library patrons who can't always get there during work hours, jerks.  Anyway, I dropped off the Nancy Drew biography (of the authors) unfinished, but it wasn't quite as much about Nancy as I was hoping.  I did have time to grab one of those Phillipa Gregory books that I think I will enjoy, as well as one by Anita Shreve.  I'm looking forward to reading them after I finish the book club book, and I'm almost done now.  I'm enjoying it for the most part, but it's almost like I don't care about the main framework and just want to know more about certain people's stories.  But it's interesting and a fast read.

Oh, then I picked up groceries after the library, stuff to make minestrone soup (with turkey sausage instead of the chicken it called for) and then my White Chicken Chili, which was originally Nora's Green Turkey Chili, but I use chicken instead and think "Green" sounds gross in a recipe title.  But the chili is delicious and easy in the crock pot, so I want to make it some weekend day soon.  It helps that Hike is such a fan of my cooking -- it makes it fun to show off a little.  So I lugged all the groceries (uuuggghhh always so heavy) to the pharmacy to drop off a script and pick up another, and buy MILK (more heavy) for the weekend, then home.  I made the soup with lots of yummy fresh veg, organized my pantry shelves, ate the rest of my lunch from yesterday for dinner while watching TruBlood, talked to Hike for a bit, then finally started the 4th disk of Brideshead Revisited.  I had never finished that series and it was hiding in my queue, but now that I'm back on the Brits, I felt like finishing 'er up.  I think I only have an episode and a half left.

It was a good night!  I do feel bad about still not getting to the gym, but since my diet has more impact on my weight than exercise, I decided it's more important to have healthy foods ready to eat.  Once I'm stocked up that way, and when I have free time, then it'll be gym time.  Also, walking in the snow was a bit trudging, especially when carrying billions of pounds of groceries.  That had to burn some extra calories.

Tonight is the Gayte with Hike, and I'll meet his college roommate and roommate's friend for the first time.  I think it should be lots of fun, and I can't wait till 5 -- we're grabbing an early Thai dinner beforehand, so the fun will begin right away.

And then FINALLY it's the weekend.  Henna Party (I'll bring rubber gloves and vaseline! TWSS!), dates, chili, Fraggle Rock, etc.  Le sigh.

It's a Wrap-Up

Hmm, this is becoming more of a weekly thing, and I don't like that. 

Let's talk about last weekend!  Well, it was mostly uneventful.  I had a very aggravating day at work on Friday as I was trying to teach work stuff to the new receptionist and it wasn't going well.  I usually consider myself a clear communicator, but I guess I have expectations of general intelligence that are off-base in this case.  At least write down what I'm saying so you don't have to ask me 10 times, amiright?  Anyway, Schmillie thankfully talked me into getting a drink after work, which turned into like six drinks and I took a cab home after midnight.  Or rather, to McCafferty's in Astoria to meet Schmannon, her date Flick, and that guy I'd taken home two weeks ago, Pal.  I mean, he works there, so he was there.  She'd warned me before I arrived that he had talked to her about me, and how he didn't think I liked him very much.  Aww, but true.  Anyway, I was way too drunk, so I got sick on the sidewalk around the corner (I know.  I'm 17.) and then got gum, then went inside to see the gang and drink water.  It was nice and chill, but unnecessary probably.  More on this in a minute.  Oh, and Pal was very attentive and nice, so it wasn't awkward (I don't think), but I felt a little bad.  I don't mean to be a jerk, but he was sort of puppy-ish about me, like keeping an eye on me and touching me unnecessarily and bringing me a chair and stuff.  He texted me after I got home (um, at 4 am) to say it was good to see me, and I said likewise.  I mean, he's a nice guy, so we can be friends.

Anyway, that meant Saturday was a bust -- or should I say, a nice lazy day of Mad Men and delivery greasy food and catching up on DVR.  (I'm overwhelmed by my DVR right now.  So many shows.)  Sunday was similar, but I did get out to run some errands and get a mani/pedi/back massage AND I finally decided to go back to eyebrow waxing.  I'd decided like six years ago that I'd just tweeze and it'd be cheaper, but I think that was before I realized how cheap it was in NYC and also before I realized I can't get them even on my own.  So I've turned over the eyebrow reigns, and it feels GOOD.  They're a little thinner than I had them, but I think it looks OK.  She chastised me for tweezing too much in the middle -- I guess you're only supposed to have a two-finger width there and I have three.  But I also have bald patches in my brows, so I'm going to try to let the middle grow but it may look insane.  Fun!  Oops, I digress...

Sunday night I set up my OKCupid profile so I can begin internet dating again.  I'm e-mailing a couple of boys now, and I'm still pretty hopeful about the thing.  I'm mostly reaching out to guys in Astoria, too, unless I see someone I really like in Manhattan.  I probably will expand, but I'm just starting with my neighbors -- I really like dating someone close by.  I'm eager for the actual dating to start, but I have to be patient.

And last night was our first dodgeball game of the season.  It was really fun!  Well, I got a little frustrated at some of my teammates, mostly the ditziest of girls who sassed me when I tried to help her understand the gd rules...but we know I can be competitive.  Then the after-game drinking at the bar was awesome.  It's at The Irish Rover, which is kind of far from me, Astoria-wise, but they give you your third drink as a buyback, and everybody in the league is really friendly and social.  I like a few of my teammates a lot, too, and I made best friends with a guy Snick who I'd met once before a couple weeks ago but who I talked to the most last night.  I would think we had something going on except that he's ENGAGED.  It's a bit confusing as to why he'd be so friendly, but I'm not going to worry about it.  He bought all my beers and insisted on walking me home at 1 in the morning, as he and I were the last ones to stay from our team, and we ended up hanging out and doing whiskey shots with the yellow team.  (Their toast before drinking?  "Yellow snow.")  Oh, and our team is blue -- actually baby blue.  And named Shaved by the Ball.  Anyway, Snick didn't do anything inappropriate but is vaguely flirtatious and very nice.  I made a point to talk to him about the boys I was checking out at the bar though, to be very clear on the friendship line.

Oh, so yes, there are a few cute options in my league, and two of them approached me last night, so the seeds have been planted.  We'll see.  There's also a few flirtatious boys who are not so cute, but it's still fun.  I think this league is all about flirting, really.  And balls.

Right, I was going to talk about my drinking problem.  Mainly the problem is that once I get going, I'm not good at stopping -- I so don't care that it's late or that I'll be hungover, I just want to stay out, have fun, and not miss anything.  But then the next day I feel miserable and a bit depressed at my worthlessness.  I realize this behavior is silly and a bit harmful, so I need to try to be more disciplined even through my 3-drink haze.  I don't know how to accomplish this yet, but the first step is recognition, right?

And Sleeve is still texting me.  Last Wednesday after a bottle of wine, I'd said something to him about how he wasn't going to say goodbye, just go silent, and he said I was the one walking away.  Which is not true, and what?  Crazy.  So I clarified and then it was quiet again until Saturday, when I got a "What's up babe?" text, and I ignored it.  Then I got another one last night and he asked if he was on the ignore list, so I said no, I tried to talk about what I want and you weren't having it, and he said he was having it, so I said well, do something about it.  And he made a sexual comment and I Shut.It.Down.  I told him no sexting.  Obviously I shouldn't talk to him at all, but I miss the communication, so whatever.  I also like speaking so plainly about how this is his fault.  I don't know, I'm back to finding it vaguely entertaining.

So that's the haps!  Tonight is book club for The Help, which should be a good one, AND we're meeting at this rooftop bar near my office that I've been wanting to try forever, so I'm pumped.  Also really tired, as I went to sleep at 2 am, but I'll make it and then go to bed early tonight.

They Call Me Mellow Yellow and What I Ate

Happy Wednesday!  It's supposed to be a cool spring day outside today, and I hope we all get to enjoy it.  I plan on walking a bit at lunchtime, since I can't walk home until my feet recover from last week.  I plan on biking at the gym instead, like I failed to do on Monday.

Book club was great last night, and I really liked the Black Bear Lodge, though there was a disturbing kitty-litter type odor that became evident about halfway through our meeting.  If not for that, I wouldn't happily moved into the log-cabin interior--I felt like I was out of the city for a vacation!  It's also always a fraught time when it's your turn to pick the book, and I had some haters, but I also had some fans, so I think it was a good mix.

I had the MOST frustrating experience in the middle of the night last night.  Around 4:30 pm, someone started ringing our doorbell incessantly.  I laid in bed for awhile, trying to ignore it, which is hard for me as I'm a worrier so I of course immediately think that it's someone I know who needs help.  Which no, that doesn't make sense, but I'd been awoken from a sound sleep!  Then my roommate knocks on my door as it's keeping her up, too, and so being the man of the house, I go to her room where we can look out her windows over to our front door area.  We can't really see the guy but we see his baseball hat, and he's still going to town on the doorbell, so I finally open her window and say "What?!"  He looks at me hopefully and says "Delivery?"  I say "No," he says "No?" I say "No."  And I shut the window and that was it.  He was trying to call someone on his cell phone and holding his slip of paper, reading the address.  I mean, COME ON, DUDE.  I got back into bed and lay there, frustrated with all the things I wanted to have yelled but didn't.  Like, who do you work for?  I'm calling the police!  You don't ring doorbells on a dark house nonstop at 4:30 am!  But I didn't yell at him and the rage is all stuck inside me.  Maybe I should yell these things to no one when I'm home alone later to feel better.  At least I was able to fall back asleep relatively quickly -- the worst is when you're woken up like that and then lay there for three hours until it's time to really get up for the day.

Speaking of impotent rage, as of right now, I've gone about 17 hours without a cigarette.  I realize that's small potatoes, but I have to start somewhere!  I'm chewing my nicotine gum when I can, and thinking of lists and things I can use to keep up my motivation.  (Because some probably-far-away disease isn't enough, honestly.)  I'm also going to use my spa gift certificate to Spa Hydra for a facial when I've been clean for two or three weeks as a reward. 

Well, today I'm working on relaxing and not letting annoying co-worker situations get to me (ahem).  I've also got a pretty light project load, so I'm moving more slowly than usual at work and enjoying it.  There's no other news, really, though I'm starting to rethink my daily menus, as I get so hungry around 4-5 pm and so I think I need to beef up my afternoon snack.  Schmauren suggested eating soup then, which is a pretty good idea, it'll just take some more weekend cooking time, but I enjoy that when I have the time.

I will refrain from discussing Lost as I don't want to spoil anything, but I'm greedily reading lots of online recaps and analyses, as usual.  It was everything I'd hoped it would be -- almost.

Food plan:
B - Honey B's, coffee, milk - 4
L - Turkey & swiss sandwich, apple - 5
D - Chicken meatloaf, salad - 5.5
S - yogurt, granny bar, string cheese - 4
Total - 18.5 (plus something else TBD)
Activity - Biking at the gym, sadly

Daydream Believer and What I Ate

I really wanted to make that headline "Daydream Bereaver" because I like the pun, but it's too sad and I'm not actually grieving any daydreams today.  So I told it straight.

What a Big Day!  Today, while still quite gloomy outside, is personally eventful.  (I'm also relieved it's not actually raining -- I can deal with cool cloud cover.)  First of all, I ate lunch with the lawyers in the conference room and felt included (I know it wasn't the first time, but it's still nice.)  I also asked for Good Friday off from work, and was granted that (more on this below).  And then after work, I have book club, and I'm the leader tonight!  (We read The Moonflower Vine, remember?)  To top it off, I'm walking down there with Schmauren, so we can catch up on our lives' happenings.  I'm holding the meeting at the Big Bear Lodge, which sort of ties into the setting of the book, at least in the outdoorsy/farmy atmosphere.  I'm trying to reserve us the "fireplace room," too, which should help the ambiance.

Then after BC, it's a big Guyliner-centric episode of Lost.

Who doesn't want to know more about Richard Alpert?  Who doesn't love that his real name is Nestor Carbonell?  And can you believe he doesn't actually wear eyeliner?

So yes, lots of things to be happy about today.  Now if I could only figure out a career path that will allow me to nap every afternoon. 

I've been invited to spend Easter weekend in Boston with Mex, and to meet his family, etc.  I think he'll already be there for his spring break from school, and I'll come up to meet him on Thursday night.  This is huge and I am very, very hesitant to talk about it in case it doesn't happen.  He's had some difficulty with this particular relationship step in the past, partially due to some strained family dynamics, and so I'm really afraid to consider this a definite plan, but then I'm also afraid that I'll jinx it by doubting.  (I mean, only half-seriously.)  Honestly, I think it'll help that he'll be there and I'll just come to meet him -- at least we don't have to get both of us on a bus at the same time.  That said, right now that's the Easter plan, and I'm trying to let myself enjoy the excitement.  And let the nervousness come, too.  (WHAT am I going to wear?!)

Today's food:
B - Honey B's, coffee, milk - 4
L - Turkey & Swiss sammy, apple - 5
D - Sassy Soup, light sour cream, salad with feta - 7
S - granny bar, yogurt, beer? - 3-6
Total - 19-22

What I Ate and Plan To: Friday

Well, it's finally Friday, and it's nearly 50 degrees out there, people! We should all be having a picnic in the park, but alas.

So last night's book club was at a very cool bar that was very far away from any easy transportion. http://www.brassmonkeynyc.com/ It was a nice place, though, and perhaps known among other things as the location of the scene on The Real Housewives of New York when that stupid Bensimon person told Kelly, "I'm up here [holding hand high in the air], and you're down here [holding hand very low]." Oh, the drama. We were also in luck, as we were there for the happy hour special of $2 off domestic beers...but also bad timing, as they were changing out all of the kegs at the same time. Therefore I started with a Miller Lite bottle, like the classy broad that I am. However, since friend LauLau and I had initially tried to order Blue Moons, once the kegs were in, they brought us each one on the house. Then LauLau didn't want hers. So I drank it. Three beers and no dinner (and I forgot my string cheese!) meant I was pretty well tipsy, but I made the wise decision to go straight home afterwards instead of seeking further shenanigans. I have been patting myself on the back for this since last night, since I am terrible at this sort of discipline. I was home for a Lean Cuisine Chicken Parm (6 pts), then a bag of 94% FF Kettle Korn (6 pts), which I guess if you're "binging" is the way to go. That means with 8 points of beer, I went into my Flex points by 9. I will take the hit.

Oh, and I think I should avoid having three beers at the next book club. When it came time for grading the book (at the end) and choosing which characters we'd Chuck, F*ck, or Marry, I accidentally said I'd F the child-abusing father. I meant CHUCK him! I quickly backtracked but the damage was sort of done. Anyway, there's a good line between two beers and three. Words to live by on an empty stomach.

So today's another "busy" but sort of repetitive day at work, but at least it should go quickly. Tonight's plans moved to tomorrow night, and promise to be a rather crazy evening (BSH says "epic") so I'm going to save all remaining flexies for tomorrow night and Sunday recovery. That means I think I'll lay low tonight and do some grocery shopping and maybe cooking. I need to make some WW-appropriate dinners that I can portion out and freeze for the next few weeks, and I just printed a ton of good recipes.

And in case your curious, my epic evening tomorrow (which I should stop saying, because once you think it's going to be amazing, you're setting yourself up to fail) involves a group of crazy lady friends amassing in Astoria, first at Ax's apartment, then out to wander and stir up trouble. Maybe I'll find another/more boy(s) to kiss! I will be sure to not wear two pairs of sweatpants like I did last weekend. (We were only henna-ing our hair and it was cold. Shut up.) No matter what, it should be very silly and fun.

Food:
B - coffee, Smart Start (which is a bastard because I just figured out is has 3 points, not 2), skim milk (5)
L - chicken and swiss on sandwich thin with L&T, Miracle Whip light and mustard; apple (4)
D - brown rice with vegetable tomato sauce and cubed chicken (7); romaine salad with tomatoes, cucumbers, feta, homemade vinaigrette (2)
S - Dannon Light & Fit yogurt (1)
Total - 19 (I'm sure I'll add one somewhere)
Activity - Lugging home grocery bags; slight chance of gym
Flex points remaining - 26

Happy weekend, all!

Late and What I Ate: Wednesday, January 13

Wow, so being suddenly busy at work really cut into my internet time. Sorry, vast legions of fans. I didn't want to totally disappear today, though, because it was weigh-in day, and I dropped another two pounds! I'm fine with this rate, though I know it'll get harder as I lose 'em. Still, after a bad hangover weekend and that killer cheesecake yesterday, I'm pleased.

That reminds me, I didn't eat either of my snacks yesterday, but I did eat a tiny sliver of the cheesecake with chocolate mousse...good Lord. I couldn't even finish my small piece, but in the beginning, when I was innocent, it was AMAZING. I did stay on track with the gym last night, so I think the damage was minimal (and the psychological benefits were maximal.)

So today, I already ate:
B - coffee, Honey Bunches of Oats with Strawberries, skim milk (4)
L - chicken and swiss on sandwich thin with L&T, Miracle Whip light and mustard; pear (4)
D - brown rice with vegetable tomato sauce and cubed chicken (7); romaine salad with tomatoes, cucumbers, feta, homemade vinaigrette (2)
S - Dannon Light & Fit yogurt (1), light string cheese before gym (2)
Total - 20
Activity - 30-40 minutes of stationary bike riding (at varied resistances)
Flex points remaining - 35
Weight - 146 lbs.

Tomorrow I have book club, so I won't hit the gym, but since it's in BFE on 10th Avenue, I'll at least get some walking in. It's even supposed to be warmer out -- the high is 39 degrees! I can try to get to the gym this weekend to make up for my missing a day at least, but I'll see how it goes. I'm not going to kill myself this time, but make it a lifestyle, which I sort of succeeded at last time. There were external temptation factors, let's say.

Anyway, going to start getting ready for bed, but wanted to be discplined and get this up. Oh, and I'm into J&J now, and I thought I just hated Julie in the movie, but I sort of hate her in the book. Maybe I'm biased? It doesn't help that Amy Adams' terrible picture with the short bus haircut is on the cover of the paperback I'm reading. Still, I'll try to wait until I read the whole thing, but man, PULL IT TOGETHER WOMAN. She's a mess, and not a sympathetic one.

So sweet dreams, bumblebees!