It is with a heavy heart that I must pass along this news. My conscience wouldn't let me keep it to myself, and yes, I still have one of those. Apparently The Gnome Story is FALSE. Schmillie passed along this hot tip: http://www.snopes.com/embarrass/mistaken/troll.asp
This raises so many questions. Why would the church lady lie? Did she know it was a lie? Who originated such a hateful trick -- hateful because of the joy it gave and now takes away? Can I ever tell my mother that it's an urban legend? Will it break her old heart?
I'm going to stop retelling it, obviously, but I will also always hold the mental picture of the jelly beans smooshed under the door to the grateful (and frightened ) midget dear to my heart.
Showing posts with label gnome. Show all posts
Showing posts with label gnome. Show all posts
Thursday, May 6, 2010
Tuesday, April 27, 2010
I Loved David the Gnome and What I Ate
Well, it's supposedly the first softball game of the season at 7:00 pm tonight. It's been really rainy the past few days, however, so of course I'm hoping the fields are too wet to play. :) I'm scared to pitch! At least it sounds like we'll have some practice time on the field before the game starts, so they can see if I'm worthy. Unfortunately, the sun just came out a little bit ago, so that might mean game on.
Last night I hit the gym and rode 9 miles/45 minutes on the bike. It felt like a good workout, helped along by the steamy heat inside my gym -- I sweat like I was exercising in a sauna, and I am not usually a heavy sweater. (Ha.) Then it was home for dinner making, tv, reading, a quick chat with Mex, etc. All in all, an uneventful but decent evening.
Ready for the gnome story? This comes courtesy of my mother's church friend, and is about her co-worker and the co-worker's son. Got it? So this co-worker woman has a young teenaged son who is home during the day and is also autistic. He obviously can be by himself, but isn't always the quickest on processing life situations. One day he calls his mother at work four times in a row, upset. Once she gets a chance to call him back, she's concerned, asking him if there is an emergency. He says, "Mom, there's a gnome in the house! A gnome!" The mom can't get anymore information out of him, so she finally asks her boss if she can leave early to head home and figure out what's going on.
She arrives at he her house only to discover that a census taker had apparently come to their door -- a midget census taker. The son had never seen a midget before, but knew gnomes from his stories. He proceeded to pick up the "gnome" and shove him into the hallway closet, then lock him in safely. The gnome, fortunately, realized that this boy didn't quite have all of his mental faculties, so was trying to talk calmly to him through the door. "Please let me out. If you keep me in here for long, I'll get hungry. And then if I don't eat, I'll get sick!" So what was our enterprising young hero to do? Simple -- he found the gnome-friendly jelly beans in his Easter basket and began to slip them under the crack in the closet door, one by one. And this is the scene that his mother walked in on. It really happened. Too bad the local news couldn't pick it up, as the family was concerned about publicizing the information that their vulnerable son would be at home alone during the day. Who knows what garden creature would stop by next?
Well, in other joyous news, I just found out that my softball game has been cancelled! I'm sure the fields were too wet to play on, and I am excited. I think I'll walk home OR do the Jillian Michaels' shred -- to be determined.
I finally was able to connect with Britch, at least over G-chat just now, and I feel loads better. (Ew, that's kind of a gross expression...) And I appreciate your commented apology, lady. Anyway, I am much more settled in my head now, and instead of panicking about whatever happens tomorrow, I'm pretty sure I'll deal with it either way. My other mental escape at the moment is considering a trip to Florida to visit an old lover -- it might be nice to get in some beach, some margaritas, and some potential making out, right? What better healing step could I possibly take? :) Anyway, it's under consideration.
Well, foooood.
B - Honey Bunches with Strawberries, milk, coffee, string cheese - 5
L - chicken & cheese sammy, yogurt with peach slices - 6
D - artichoke lasagne, salad - 6
S - soup, orange - 3
Total - 20
Activity - walking home or shredding
OH OH OH and official weight this morning - 140 lbs. NEARLY 130s. I think my lowest of my adult life is 136...so we're getting closer.
Last night I hit the gym and rode 9 miles/45 minutes on the bike. It felt like a good workout, helped along by the steamy heat inside my gym -- I sweat like I was exercising in a sauna, and I am not usually a heavy sweater. (Ha.) Then it was home for dinner making, tv, reading, a quick chat with Mex, etc. All in all, an uneventful but decent evening.
Ready for the gnome story? This comes courtesy of my mother's church friend, and is about her co-worker and the co-worker's son. Got it? So this co-worker woman has a young teenaged son who is home during the day and is also autistic. He obviously can be by himself, but isn't always the quickest on processing life situations. One day he calls his mother at work four times in a row, upset. Once she gets a chance to call him back, she's concerned, asking him if there is an emergency. He says, "Mom, there's a gnome in the house! A gnome!" The mom can't get anymore information out of him, so she finally asks her boss if she can leave early to head home and figure out what's going on.
She arrives at he her house only to discover that a census taker had apparently come to their door -- a midget census taker. The son had never seen a midget before, but knew gnomes from his stories. He proceeded to pick up the "gnome" and shove him into the hallway closet, then lock him in safely. The gnome, fortunately, realized that this boy didn't quite have all of his mental faculties, so was trying to talk calmly to him through the door. "Please let me out. If you keep me in here for long, I'll get hungry. And then if I don't eat, I'll get sick!" So what was our enterprising young hero to do? Simple -- he found the gnome-friendly jelly beans in his Easter basket and began to slip them under the crack in the closet door, one by one. And this is the scene that his mother walked in on. It really happened. Too bad the local news couldn't pick it up, as the family was concerned about publicizing the information that their vulnerable son would be at home alone during the day. Who knows what garden creature would stop by next?
Well, in other joyous news, I just found out that my softball game has been cancelled! I'm sure the fields were too wet to play on, and I am excited. I think I'll walk home OR do the Jillian Michaels' shred -- to be determined.
I finally was able to connect with Britch, at least over G-chat just now, and I feel loads better. (Ew, that's kind of a gross expression...) And I appreciate your commented apology, lady. Anyway, I am much more settled in my head now, and instead of panicking about whatever happens tomorrow, I'm pretty sure I'll deal with it either way. My other mental escape at the moment is considering a trip to Florida to visit an old lover -- it might be nice to get in some beach, some margaritas, and some potential making out, right? What better healing step could I possibly take? :) Anyway, it's under consideration.
Well, foooood.
B - Honey Bunches with Strawberries, milk, coffee, string cheese - 5
L - chicken & cheese sammy, yogurt with peach slices - 6
D - artichoke lasagne, salad - 6
S - soup, orange - 3
Total - 20
Activity - walking home or shredding
OH OH OH and official weight this morning - 140 lbs. NEARLY 130s. I think my lowest of my adult life is 136...so we're getting closer.
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