Ch-ch-ch-changes and What I Ate

Oh friends, this week is pretty crazy.  I will give you the bullet points, since I can't take time to write very much.

• Monday morning I spoke to Mex's dad, since I think the situation needed some intervention and I can't be the only sane person who knows what's going on.  It was a good decision -- apparently his dad came down yesterday.
• BUT after texting to learn that on Monday night with Mex, I didn't talk to him yesterday or today so far.  And I won't.  It's been a little while since we've gone a day without talking (even when the talking was fighting), so it's good but hard to be back on the wagon.  And obviously necessary and right.  I just feel like know I can leave it in someone else's hands, and that's good.
• SOOO enough of that crap.  Yesterday our firm's Office Manager/Book keeper was ARRESTED for embezzling!  It was a very exciting/sad day.  The police detectives came to get him at the office and everything.  He's like an old funny uncle type, in his 60s, and had been here for 10 years.  Crazy.
• BUT that means my promotion has been accelerated...to today.  They talked to me yesterday about my role and my raise goes into effect today!  I'm going to do billing/accounting stuff, plus office managing and some paralegal work.  They're already interviewing replacement receptionists.  THIS IS GREAT.
• Two more reasons we all love Blackbeard:  He owns all of the Arrested Development seasons on DVD (like I do) AND he just started home brewing beer recently!  His first batch is an American Pale Ale, and I name dropped "carboy" like nobody's business.  It was amazing.  So how do we get him to love me?!  I feel like I'm still in the "letting him get comfortable with me" phase.  He's on the quiet side, as I've said.
• Tonight I have a double-header softball game and it is STEAMING outside.  I am going to die.  I hate being hot plus I brought black pants, which will definitely be rolled up for maximum air circulation.
• Tomorrow night I'm having drinks with an old NY friend who I haven't seen recently.  He wrote a book and wants to pick my brain.  I want him to buy me drinks.  Perfect!
• This weekend a friend (and her family -- she's a married mom) are coming from Toledo to visit, and I think I'm meeting up with them on Saturday for some Natural History Museum.  Two birds with one stone?  Yes.  Plus, making awkward conversation with 10- and 12-year old boys.
• Yesterday (after a long absense) I saw my hot chef neighbor leaving his apartment in the morning.  We sort of talked as we walked in different directions, but then when I got to work I saw that I had a missed call from him?  I texted back but then he didn't respond, BUT this reminds me that I may need to make him my lover.
• This morning I awoke to a text from an old friend in Ohio (who is possibly in love with me) that wished me a good day.  Very sweet.
• Clearly I need to start dating.

Food:
B - honey bunches, coffee, milk - 4
L - sammy, yogurt with blueberries - 6
D - leftover chicken tikka masala - 6?
S - grapes, string cheese, granny bar, soup? - tbd
Total - around 20, I think
WEIGHT, as of yesterday morning - 138!

Short Skirts and Converse and What I Ate

Happy Frrrriday, friends!

It's going to be a lovely warm summery day.  I can't wait for the weekend, either.  Tonight I'm walking home with Schmauren, then we're doing some shopping for tomorrow's First Annual Astoria Beer Tasting.  Which is comprised of a group of friends who are getting together on a somebody's deck to sample craft beers (it is Craft Beer Week, after all) and food pairings.  (Schmauren and her friend were the creators.)  Each team of two is responsible for bringing a growler or a 6-pack and some tasty treats that pair well with their chosen beer.  Schmauren and I are bringing...wait, I can't spoil the surprise.  I'll tell you Monday!  But tonight we're doing some of our shopping and then hopefully eating a lovely dinner outside somewhere in the 'hood.  Then tomorrow I'll need to finally get some laundry done.  (It's been more than six weeks.  Seriously.)  And a mani/pedi at some point, too. 

And then Sunday...SUNDAY SUNDAY SUNDAY is the Lost Finale Extravaganza.  The party starts at 7 p.m. with a two hour recap show, then from 9 to 11:30 is the series finale.  How can I stand 2.5 hours of the drama?!  I will probably have a stroke, but it will be great.  And then I'll have to DVR Jimmy Kimmel Live: Aloha to Lost on at midnight.  Depending on the hangover I have, I'll maybe wait until evening to order some yummy celebratory food.  (Meaning if I'm hungover earlier, I may cave and order crap at noon.  You never know.  Though I'm going to try to pace myself with the beer tasting, and I think it'll help that I don't like hoppy beers!)

Last night I had a lovely, productive coffee date, stopped at the grocery store on the way home, then made a nice scallop, artichoke and tomato buttery sauce for my pasta.  There was a little texting with Mex, just to confirm that there is no news, of course, but I'm in a much better place for myself now.  (CoffeeDate had some good advice there, too.)  And then I caught up on The Office and 30 Rock, and how great was Matt Damon?!  I hope they keep him around for awhile.  I was just saying the LL really needs to have a boyfriend, if only for a little while, as this whole can't-get-a-man joke is getting tired.  (I feel the same way about Ted on How I Met Your Mother, by the way.)

In other news, as many of you are telling me to "marry Blackbeard," and I'm doing what I can, believe me, isn't it a cool coicidence that my favorite song on Band of Horses' new album is called "Blue Beard"?  Here's a live performance, though the vocals are tighter on the album version, if you're interested.




So now I'm just listening to the new LCD Soundsystem that everyone is talking about on the internets and pretending to do work.  I probably should get started on some real work, but waahhh.

Food plan:
B - Special K Berries, milk, coffee - 4
L - turkey & swiss, yogurt & blueberries - 6
D - TBD
S - string cheese, soup, granny bar? - 2-4
Total - 12-14 plus dinner
Activity - walking 3 miles

Happy weekend, lovers!

Slacking Off and What I Ate

Oops, I seem to have gone most of this week with only one legitimate post.  Well, I'm here to rectify the situation, never fear.

Let's see...Tuesday night I Skyped with Britch again for a bit, and caught up on a little DVR (though I'm still very behind), and then Wednesday I had a softball game after work.  Unfortunately it was our first loss of the season, BUT there were so many girls there that I didn't start, and only ended up playing one inning (as the ref called the game early so the 7:00 game could start).  Therefore, I don't take much blame for the loss, though I did mess up the one grounder to me.  I tried to trap it in my glove but it took a strange hop and jammed my finger instead.  Yay, my one shining moment of glory!  It was still a fun night, as I hung around for awhile afterwards, talking to the guys.  One of my friends is sort of going through his own tough relationship spot, though he's on the opposite end of a problem like mine, but it's good to talk about it.  And to have friends, right?  I have lovely friends.  Who put up with me very patiently.

Tonight I'm meeting Lillie's gf Erin for coffee after work.  (Shh, don't tell!  Juuuust kidding.)  We're going to discuss a project she's working on, and then I'm heading home and going to try to go another night without knowing what's going on with the Mex/keeping-the-baby situation, which is supposedly at a critical point this week.  I told myself I'm not initiating any contact now, as preparation for ceasing contact altogether, but it's REALLY HARD to not know what's going on.  At least, most of the time, when I don't distract myself.  I didn't respond to a text from him yesterday and now I'm starting to get an itchy trigger finger, but I'll hold on as long as I can.

Yikes, can't even talk about it.  Let's change the subject.  Blackbeard's getting friendlier, though I don't really feel the romance blossoming yet.  Though he does catch my eye a lot when we all eat lunch in the conference room...we're often thinking the same thing.  And this is ridiculous, but also a sign that we're soulmates:  Last week one of the partners at my firm was home sick, and sent an e-mail to let us know, mentioning that "those of you who saw my antics yesterday will understand."  I hadn't seen the antics, so I asked Blackbeard what was up with that, and he explained that the partner's nose was so dry from his cold that at one point he sneezed and blew blood all over the front of his shirt, and didn't have another to change into.  Ha!  And gross!  So this week, when the partner re-emerged at work, I said that I'd been filled in and I hoped he was feeling better.  Also, I carry a Tide To-Go pen with me at all times, if he should ever need to wash out blood again.  He said, "Yeah, so does [Blackbeard], but he wouldn't let me use it, since he didn't want to infect it with blood!"  In conclusion, both Blackbeard and I carry Tide To-Go pens, and thus we are meant to be.

I didn't get much exercise this week, I'll admit, but I did walk a bit yesterday with the softball travel, and frankly, I'm just trying to make it through each day.  BUT I'm still controlling my eating so my weight is fine.  Can I be one of those people who only exercises only 2-3 (ok, 1?) times a week but eats healthy and is therefore in shape, please?  Let's see.

Well, I hope you are all enjoying this beautiful Thursday.  Till tomorrow!

Food.
B - Special K Red Berries, milk, coffee - 4
L - turkey & swiss, yogurt with berries - 6
D - pasta with scallops and artichokes and sauce - 6ish?
S - string cheese, soup, grapes - 3
Total - 19

It's all happening!  So I only have about 10 minutes to write this, as the day got away from me, but I'm in a great mood.  This morning MTV aired all Lady Gaga videos while I was getting ready for work, and there's really no better way to start the day than dancing around your room.  Now I'm heading home to pack for my Boston trip (as I leave from work tomorrow), and then catch up with Lost and America's Next Top Model while eating dinner, painting my nails, and vegging out.  It's going to be great! 

Last night's Beer & Bacon Tasting was much more delicious (and organized) than I expected, and also we had a good group of eight people, and were loud and laughed a lot and it was very fun. The food was amazing, but I didn't feel overly-full afterwards (though craving a veg, maybe.)  If you're curious about what our four courses were, look here (and ignore their typos).  It was hilarious AND educational; the best sort of night.

Today Blackbeard came over to my desk excitedly to tell me he'd figured out that when you poke a paperclip into the hole on your computer's CD drive, it'll manually eject (as we both have moody computers that won't eject with the push of the button.)  I had to break it to him that I already knew that trick, and I was sorry I didn't tell him earlier.  So to thank him for trying to help, I e-mailed him with this video link, as I'm obsessed with both Jared Leto/Jordan Catalano and Gaga, and I can't stop listening to it:



He didn't respond, though.  Which makes me laugh, either from amusement or embarassment, it's hard to say.

Food today is on-plan, so no worries there.  No bacon there, either!  I think this soup-snack is really working out for me, as well as chewing nicotine gum for curbing FOOD cravings.  Models should chew this stuff instead of eating.  Or, you know, stick with the coke.

More tomorrow, my loves.  Enjoy hump eve!

French Toast and What I Ate

Oh, why are the weeks neverending lately?  It's only Thursday, but I'm so antsy to get out of this office!  At least I can look forward to a walk home in the sunshine, if I can make it that long.  I'm feeling much less worried today about things in general, though, so I hope this carefree trend continues.  Then I can definitely blame the hormones.

Yesterday's Jiggs lunch (dinner) was fantastic, and I only ate half of my giant platter, so I can have the leftovers for lunch today!  I also drank two small beers and then had a hard time staying awake at my desk, but it was really fun.  The place was lively, but we got a table right away, and a bagpiper even walked through at one point.  Then the gang at work all went for drinks at about 4:30 pm, and it was the first time I've felt really included and comfortably social with all of them.  (I was way too hungover at our holiday party so I wasn't my usual fun self.)  Blackbeard & I had a joke going about french toast, because when we walked in, he said the bar smelled like french toast and I said cheeseburgers, and he kept bringing it up.  And he ordered pretzels and let me pick a dipping sauce and we shared them with the group.  And we walked to the subway together, just us, and these two Mennonite women with babies stopped to ask for directions and he was very courteous and masculine with them.  Sigh.  I got to tell him how much I approve of his beard, and now I need him to show some flaw so that he isn't quite so perfect.  (And I had fun with the other colleagues, and got some good office gossip as well as some praise, and bonded with the other female associate, etc.)  Anyway, I was back in Astoria around 8:30 when I met up with Mex at Dunkin' Donuts and then he walked me home.  It was such a lovely temperature outside that it was hard to make myself behave and go to bed, but I did, thankfully.

Tonight I'm making steak and sweet potatoes for Mex and myself, and opening all of the windows in the apartment.  It should be fun, and I'm going to make sure I'm not a worrying Debbie Downer like I have been this week.  I realize I've also seen him almost every day, though not for long periods of time or overnight, but maybe we should've had a break when I was such a mooner.  Oh well, he's always understanding and gentle, but I don't want to push my luck.

Now I really want some french toast.  I'm hungry.  I'm eating a granola bar instead, don't worry.  The rest of the plan:
B - Special K Berries, coffee, milk - 4
L - half of a Jiggs dinner
D - small portion of sirloin, baked sweet potato, salad with feta - ?
S - granny bar - 2
Activity - walking 3.6 miles

Guiness is a Fat-Free Food and What I Ate

Happy St. Patty's Day!  Yesterday got away from me due to actual work, but you didn't miss much, don't worry.  I ate pretty much on-plan, though I did use up some flex points by eating two Cadbury Creme Eggs while I watched Lost.  I ate them both in one sitting so that they wouldn't be hanging around, tempting me.  And I did walk home from work in the very lovely weather, so I had some activity points available.  It was a great walk, and I met up with Mex on the Manhattan side of the bridge, so we were able to journey most of the way together.  It does go faster when there's someone to talk to, even if that someone chattered away most of the time.  It was interesting chatter about some papers he's writing.

I'm very much enjoying all these lawyers in my office with their green ties today -- even Blackbeard.  It's like they're still all dressed up but LOOK, a bit of flair!  I myself am wearing a teal dress, which is close to green, but also not bright green and embarrassing.  I like my compromise.  And I'm wearing the dusty plum boots, which are mood-lifters.  My St. Patty's celebration plans are just to get lunch at the Irish pub around the corner from the office, if (please please) we can get in and get a seat.  I'm going with the paralegal, and I just want some corned beef, but she's also interested in some beer, so we'll see what happens.  (And despite my headline, I'm not a big fan of Guiness.  It's too dark for me, and bitter like black coffee.)  I am definitely not going to get silly, because I think that would make for a torturous afternoon at my desk.

Tonight I'm going to try to hit the gym, assuming I'm not in an Irish coma, and tomorrow I'll walk home again.  I LOVE being outside instead of in my crappy gym, but I did not wear walking shoes today, plus I gave myself a blister yesterday from too-thin socks.  Someone needs to do laundry.

I'm also in a worrying mood lately, and I'm annoying myself.  I feel like I'm being more oversensitive than usual and more fretful, and I'm sure the people I'm around can tell (and are probably also annoyed!)  I'm trying to establish some new guidelines for my relationship redux, but I think I'm extending into over-controlling as an attempt to not get hurt again, which, of course, is ridiculous.  I'm laying out plans for everything, and I need to step back and embrace some flexibility, especially because I'm dealing with a man, and in general, they are not fond of boxes.  It all may be partially blameable on hormones, too, but I still need it to go away.  I miss being laid-back.

Well, fooders:

B - Special K Berries, milk, coffee - 4

L - Corned Beef and accessories, whether separate or as a sandwich

D - Sassy Soup, salad - 7

S - Beer?  Four-leaf clovers?

Total - Unknown, but won't overstuff myself

Begging for a Snow Day and What I Ate

It is miserable outside.  There is just too much rain mixed in with our snow, and therefore my snow-loving self doesn't know what to think.  I can't bring myself to open up my umbrella, since it's snow, and (being a good Midwesterner) I mock those who use umbrellas in the snow -- yet, I keep getting soaking wet.  That said, our office manager at work keeps talking about how he doesn't think we'll be here much longer, and perhaps tomorrow will have to be a snow day, etc.  While he has no authority over such things, he is GETTING MY HOPES UP, so all I can do is plan how much wine I want to drink with dinner and think about sleeping in.  Sigh.

Last night I went to the gym, and since the upright bikes were all taken, I used one of the bikes where you pedal out in front of your body.  I've read up on the comparisons between the two styles, and apparently they're pretty similar effectiveness-wise, though it seems easier to do the one where you're more relaxed with a backrest, so therefore I think it's less of a workout.  But I made do, and I have decided that my butt feels decidedly exercised, so perhaps there are butt benefits to that style.  I need to pump up my butt -- if you've seen it, you know I'm dealing with a sort of flat/heart-shaped box o' chocolates back there.  (EW, that just got grosser than I meant it.) 

Tonight Mex is coming over for dinner, and I bought a ton of meat on sale at the grocery store last night, so we'll be having $2.19/lb London Broil with baked sweet potatoes and salad.  And wine, maybe a lot.  I've been marinating the steak overnight in garlic, worcestershire, salt, pepper, rosemary, and dijon all mixed together, so I think it'll be delicious.  And not terribly bad for me with the health benefits of a sweet potato and salad greens, yes?  I will also have to talk to him about my ending tolerance for this stage of our situation, so I hope that goes OK.  I feel all mad, which you know, happens, but I can't exactly unleash a tirade, as that will be very unreasonable and unproductive.  And then we will watch ladies' hockey, or as he called it, "US Canada chick-fairy hockey."  It's a joke, so don't be offended.

Oh, so those of you who know me well know that I read Gawker obsessively.  It's my go-to blog, but I tried to give them a "tip" today and I think I'm getting into a fight* with another commentor (I keep wanting to say commentator, which is more fun.)  I will reproduce the exchange for your benefit, though it's not for those with delicate sensibilities:

ME: I am way behind the times on this, but thought it a bit curious: Pre-Precious release, I read the NY Mag review of it which said that the mother genitally fingered the daughter. Based on that mental image, I declined to see the movie, finding it too disturbing. However, a friend finally saw it last night and informed me that there wasn't any shown fingering -- there was only implied sexual abuse by the mother. Why report it if it's not true?

OTHER COMMENTOR: You are expecting a screenplay to be a documentary?

ME: When the review said "She’s also sexually molested by her jealous, welfare-cheating, gross, and sedentary mother, although the genital fingering might seem preferable to the verbal and physical abuse," I thought it would be shown. I'm not criticizing the movie; I'm saying I was perhaps dissuaded from seeing it because of the review. I take it you find my discomfort at seeing such imagery to be backwoods, so I can only wish you well on your quest for incestual pornographic imagery. To each his/her own.

I mean, COME ON, leave me alone, too-cool-for-school internet person.  Though I realize I asked for it by trying to participate.  I should remember my late-high-school mantra:  don't participate.

In other great news, I was chatting with Blackbeard a few minutes ago.  One of the bosses here is named Ian, and often callers will ask me if it's pronounced Eye-an or Eee-an.  So I asked Blackbeard if he's ever knew of an Eye-an, because really, that's silly, and he said "Well, other than that Ian guy from 90210..." and he melted my heart EVEN MORE.  I was visibly excited that he referenced Ian Ziering.  I mean, it's clear we're soulmates, yes?  Maybe every time we have an awkward conversation, he's as upset about it as I am.  It's so romantic.

Anyway, clearly I'm avoiding this Excel spreadsheet like the plague.  I've been wondering today what the maximum row limit of an Excel spreadsheet is -- does anyone know?  I like to believe that it goes on for infinity (which is something I should discuss with Mex, the master of infinity theory), but I doubt that's realistic.  The real question is, has anyone ever reached the end?!

Oh, another charming thing today was that I overheard a UPS delivery man trying to quickly explain Lost to an office building super.  It was clearly too difficult of a task, so he gave up, but the conversation went something like this:

UPS guy: Did you see Lost last night, man?
Super: No, I can't keep up with that sh*t.  Didn't they crash on an island?
UPS guy: Well, yeah, but it's much more than that.
Super: What do you mean?  Why doesn't someone come and rescue them at the end?
UPS guy: Let's put it this way:  The island is alive.
Super: With what?!  Monsters?  Animals?
UPS guy: Spirits, man.  That's all I can say.  Right?
[At this point he knew I was listening and smiling, so he tapped my arm, looking for affirmation.  I gave it.]

Ok, ok, food:
B - coffee, Special K cereal, skim milk (5)
L - low-salt turkey and muenster on sandwich thin, L&T, Miracle Whip light and mustard; apple (5)
D - steak; sweet potato; salad with tomatoes, cukes and feta (?)
S - Dannon Light & Fit yogurt (1); granny bar (2); wine (?)
Total - a little extra
Activity - crying and/or cuddling

*This "fight" may only be in my head.  What do you think?

Naptime and What I Ate: Tuesday

Wow, it's not even noon and I can't stop yawning. I had a very restless night of sleep last night, with lots of tossing and turning, and I even overslept a bit this morning, which made me rush to leave the house in time. I hate those mornings. And why was I so tossy and turny? I think I'm creating problems and then fretting about them, mainly. Nothing new, but nothing I quite have a grip on yet, either.

THOUGH it's beautiful outside today. I am looking forward to walking around at lunch and breathing some fresh air.

Man, I am just not interesting today, and I apologize. OH but the one good piece of news is that Blackbeard GREW BACK HIS BEARD. At least he had it yesterday, and it was a very nice bright spot in a dreary dark day. So swashbuckley.

Food:
B - coffee, Honey Bunches of Oats, skim milk (4)
L - spicy chicken and provolone on sandwich thin, L&T, Miracle Whip light and mustard; pear (5)
D - Butternut Squash Baked Penne (5); turkey bacon (2); romaine salad with tomatoes, cucumbers, feta, homemade vinaigrette (2)
S - Dannon Light & Fit yogurt, chunk of part-skim mozz cheese (3/4)
Total - 21/22 (using some activity pts)
Activity - bike, 40 mins
Flex points remaining - 0

Tonight I should also do more freelance stuff, and I have to call a dear friend who's celebrating his birthday today, and I'm expecting a call from the butthead, and I want to Skype my best friend who's living in London (hmm, working on a nickname there), and watch The Biggest Loser. Life is busy. :)